Forgiveness

The Definition of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is often defined by exclusion. Forgiveness does not involve condoning an offender's behavior, nor does it imply that the offense is forgotten. One may seek to understand the offender and the reasons behind his or her behavior in order to achieve some cognitive resolution. To the extent that the behavior can be excused, due to inexperience or extenuating circumstances, then forgiveness is not relevant. Finally, forgiveness does not necessarily imply reconciliation.

There is no consensually agreed-upon definition of forgiveness, but there is some common ground for forming an understanding of the concept. Forgiveness is an intrapersonal phenomenon, occurring within the individual, but taking place within an interpersonal context. It involves letting go of negative thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and their gradual replacement by more charitable ones. Forgiveness of another involves the transformation of oneself, challenging one's assumptions about the world and others, and coming to terms with reality.

Types of Forgiveness

There are two primary ways of thinking about forgiveness: as a state and as a trait. State forgiveness is defined as the degree of positive thoughts, feelings, and intentions toward an offender, in regard to a specific instance of interpersonal conflict. Several self-report questionnaires have been developed to measure state forgiveness; individuals describe a time when they were betrayed or hurt and answer questions about [Page 606]their current feelings, thoughts, and intentions toward the offender. These instruments show that the context surrounding the event plays a role in the likelihood of forgiveness. If the offender shows remorse, apologizes, and/or tries to make amends, then forgiveness is more likely. Similarly, forgiveness decreases with the severity of the event and increases with the closeness of relationship between the offender and the individual. Using these instruments, one can assess the current experience of forgiveness in relation to a specific context and measure changes over time.

The second way of conceptualizing forgiveness is as a relatively stable characteristic, that is, an individual or personality trait. Warren H. Jones and his colleagues have developed the Forgiving Personality Inventory that assesses forgiveness as a personality trait, operative across a variety of contexts. Forgiving individuals value forgiveness, have a higher threshold for perceiving offenses, and are less willing to endure the separation from relationship partners that follows from a lack of forgiveness. Ryan P. Brown has developed a measure to assess the Tendency to Forgive. He found that highly forgiving individuals recall fewer offenses and get over their conflict experiences more quickly. Kathleen A. Lawler-Row has studied the forgiving personality in adults across the age range. Highly forgiving adults have better conflict management skills; they express less anger outwardly, but are more likely to calmly confront an offender, discuss the conflict, and come to an acceptable resolution. These measures of trait forgiveness are used to determine individual differences in forgiveness and their relationship to other variables, such as age, gender, or religious commitment.

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