Cyberdating

When and Where Online Dating Occurs

Before the World Wide Web or browsers such as Mosaic and then Netscape became available in the early 1990s, people met online through bulletin boards, local discussion groups where they could post items. Later, on the Internet, they talked synchronously in real time (the actual time of an event) in chat groups, or postasynchronously in online communities or virtual communities, newsgroups, or e-mail lists. Some people met while role-playing characters in online games known as multiuser object-oriented domains (MODs) or multiuser domains/dungeons (MUDs).

Wherever people communicated online, they could connect further with a particular individual, while pursuing a topic of mutual interest. Those explicitly looking for a partner rather than a friend or acquaintance could search profiles of compatible others in online dating services and, later, in real-time messaging Web sites.

Who Meets Partners Online

People who met online before the Internet and the World Wide Web were established were those engaged in computer work or in scientific groups, mainly through universities. Their computer literacy made them familiar with how to connect to others online with a minimum of stress. As their subculture of “geeks” was already an outgroup of sorts, they did not object to the further stigma of meeting people online. As more and more people have begun to use this way of meeting people, the negative views about it have receded.

People once thought that only “losers” would date people they had met via the Internet or that Internet acquaintances who met face to face might risk injury or death. While such cases do occur, most people survive their dates from cyberspace, and many have pleasant experiences, depending on their expectations and the length of time they knew the person before encountering him or her offline.

The Process of Cyberdating

The process of cyberdating typically starts at a public online site such as a discussion group, virtual community, or dating service, and then moves to private e-mail when one person wants to communicate directly with another. Someone engaging in real-time synchronous communication can go from public chat or game playing to private correspondence, either in the chat room or game or outside by sending an instant message (IM). From there, the two progress to more frequent e-mailing, more instant messaging, or a combination of both.

Compatibility partly depends on the pair's finding the proper software, such as a downloaded instant-messaging client that works on the operating systems of both of their computers. As soon as desired, if the two people begin to like each other, they use the telephone to escalate the relationship another step. If they have not set seen photographs of one another at a Web site, they usually exchange them through e-mail. People can also choose to communicate simultaneously vocally and visually through Webcams or other online software and hardware. Friendship may be the initial goal of the relationship for some, while others express feelings of strong affection and move into romantic involvement while in the online phase. After a time, depending on the inclination and the geographical location of each party, the couple may plan to meet offline.

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