Relational Development

Communication-Based Cues

Voluntary relationships typically initiate when an individual seeks out another person to fulfill certain needs such as a (a) physical needs for affection, (b) social desires for interaction, (c) esteem needs to feel good about oneself, or (d) instrumental desires to accomplish a task or acquire a tangible resource. In large part, the initial assessment about whether or not another person may fulfill one or more of these needs is tied to judgments of attraction. The physical appearance of another is often a dominant predictor of attraction in the early stages of a potential close relationship. For example, features such as height are commonly noticed quickly by women meeting a man for the first time and may dramatically impact whether a potential romantic relationship is explored. Women across cultures have been found to be attracted to men with a strong jaw line, broad shoulders, and a narrowing of the waist. Across gender and sexuality, body symmetry and body proportionality are typically considered to be attractive.

Although initial forces of attraction may be sparked by physical attributes, how a person communicates during an interaction also plays a substantial role in attraction and relational development. Individuals generally rate people more physically attractive when they have warm, positive interactions with them compared to interactions with more distant others. Warmth is typically communicated verbally through expressions of positive attitude and a concern for others and nonverbally through smiling, eye contact, and showing interest. In addition, the perceived ease with which a person engages in conversation is tied to attractiveness ratings; people appearing as more composed, confident, and less nervous are often deemed to be more attractive. Communication is also integral to indicating the desire to develop a relationship via the use of nonverbal signals to gain the attention and affection of others, including handshakes, smiling, preening, eye contact, or childish expressions. If interested in the development of a romantic relationship, engaging in extended periods of eye contact, leaning toward a potential partner, physically moving around, smiling, and verbally expressing interests are all ways to move a relationship to greater intimacy.

What is communicated also serves to encourage or discourage attraction and relationship development. According to the rule of homogamy, people seek the company of others who reinforce their beliefs, values, and attitudes. Such information is largely garnered through verbal communication, so much so that what people say about their [Page 836]attitudes is more important to attracting another than what they actually believe. Other research suggests attraction is not a function of the particular type of communication that is used, but rather the extent to which their communication skills are similar to another with regard to supportiveness, conflict management, and perceptual accuracy.

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