Summary
Contents
Subject index
“The Mating Game is a comprehensive, multidisciplinary, introductory text about human mating relationships aimed specifically at a university audience. It progresses beyond a psychological or biological/physiological stance and encompasses a wide array of disciplines. The comprehensive review and up-to-date information contained in The Mating Game not only provides answers to questions about important life events but also encourages readers' interest in the field of interpersonal relationships and human mating.
The Mating Game: A Primer on Love, Sex, and Marriage, Second Edition, is the only comprehensive, multidisciplinary, introductory text about human mating relationships aimed specifically at a university audience. It progresses beyond a psychological or biological/physiological stance and encompasses a wide array of disciplines. This comprehensive review of theory and empirical research takes an integrated perspective on the fundamental human experiences of love and sex. Strongly grounded in methodology and research design, author Pamela C. Regan offers relevant examples and anecdotes along with ample pedagogy that will spark debate and discussion on these provocative and complex topics.
New to the Second Edition
Freshly presented material, with reorganized text that provides a smoother transition between major sections; Reviews of the most recent theoretical and empirical work in the areas of love, sexuality, mate selection, and marriage; New information on the phenomenon of “cyber-flirting” and the development of romantic relationships over the Internet; Inclusion of cutting-edge biochemistry research, including a discussion of cutting-edge research on the biochemistry of passion and affection; Discussion of emerging research on non-heterosexual relationships and cross-cultural dynamics; Expanded chapters on critical topics and an important new chapter on relationship intervention
Intended AudienceThis text is ideal for upper level undergraduate or graduate students in psychology, family studies, and sociology, who will find this engaging text a valuable tool for course-related research activities, as well as for self-awareness.
Sex in Beginning Relationships
Sex in Beginning Relationships
Chapter Outline
- Sexuality and the Attraction Process
- Sex Appeal
- Sexual Passion
- Sexual History
- Chastity: No Longer Important?
- Sexuality in Beginning Relationships
- The First Sexual Encounter
- The Decision to Have Sex for the First Time in a Relationship
- Pathways to Sexual Involvement
- Sexual Influence
- Summary
The beliefs that people hold with respect to the role of sexual activity in dating and marital relationships undoubtedly have implications for their sexual (and nonsexual) interactions with their partners. In this chapter, we examine the role that sexuality plays in the attraction process and in the initial stages of romantic relationships.
Sexuality and the Attraction Process
As we discussed in Chapter 1, there are a number of dispositional attributes or personality characteristics that people find particularly desirable in dates and marriage partners, including intelligence, honesty, a good sense of humor, emotional stability, and interpersonal warmth. Attributes that are related to sexuality, including a potential partner's “sex appeal,” sexual history, and amount of sexual experience, also are important determinants of initial attraction.
Sex Appeal
Although many social scientists have explored the characteristics that people find attractive in potential mates, relatively few have investigated the factors that render someone particularly sexually appealing and that thus prompt initial attraction. In an effort to discover the specific features that create “sex appeal,” social psychologists Pamela Regan and Ellen Berscheid (1995) asked a group of men and women to list all the characteristics men and women could possess that would cause them to be sexually appealing to others. According to the participants, sex appeal in women was believed to be primarily a function of appearance (with 90% specifying this attribute) along with such dispositional dimensions as a good overall personality (cited by 23%), self-confidence (cited by 17%), and intelligence (mentioned by 15%). Examples of participants’ responses included the following:
From a male participant: I think men want women to be willing, attractive, and interesting. It makes the desire stronger when he knows she wants the same thing, although not being able to get sex from her sometimes will do the same thing. Physically, I think a desirable woman would be soft, yet athletic, not fat, but not overly thin, with lots of curves and a nice face. A woman who is experienced and enjoys sex is more desirable than either an inexperienced, shy woman or else an overly experienced, “easy” woman.
From a male participant: Her appearance. Nothing else is needed. A man can be with any woman as long as he thinks she looks good. The easiest way to get a man interested in a woman is for his friends to say how good the girl looks. I truly feel that besides the body—no other characteristics are needed.
From a female participant: Definitely an attitude that portrays that she wants “it.” Flirtation seems to help men become more interested. A confident characteristic that would suggest that she is good at “it.” Overall attractiveness (skinny, tall, nice smile).
From a female participant: Could be very thin with long, thin legs, long hair, white teeth. Could be voluptuous—I guess what I'm getting down to is physical attraction.
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