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Using metaphor to describe experience

Video Type: In Practice

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Summary

Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) In this excerpt from the “Straddling cultures” video featured in Chapter 1, Meena is describing pressures she experiences from her mother to adopt traditional Indian values, and the impact of this pressure on her and on her relationship with her partner Jeremy. David adopts a metaphor to try and capture this dilemma; how well does it “fly?” What does David do to invite Meena to evaluate the metaphor and how does their mutual understanding of the issue evolve as a result of her response? Metaphors have a poetic quality to them which can help to capture an experience otherwise difficult to pin down with literal language. But when that experience is the client's, it is always the client who will be the best judge of how well it fits. Here, David runs with a metaphor (“the Bollywood version”) that he initially seems to feel nails Meena's dilemma. When he invites her to comment on the metaphor (“does that fit?”), however, Meena makes an adjustment, and clarifies the pressure is not to adhere to the glitz associated with Bollywood movies. It's more about some fundamental values associated with “traditional” Indian culture that she is drawn to and wants to accommodate in her life.

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