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Sharing a hunch tentatively

Video Type: In Practice

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Summary

Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman, living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Alex explores Maria's experience of “guilt” here without assuming he understands what “guilt” means to Maria. He has the notion that the guilt may apply to Maria's relationship with her partner, so throws this hunch into the conversation. How does Alex bring in his observations into the conversation (“My house”) without merely presenting Maria with his one-sided interpretation of what this is like for Maria? What is the outcome of his tentative posture? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Although Maria has not explicitly referred to guilt in relation to her partner, Alex has been holding onto the notion that she may be experiencing this. He decides to throw this into the conversation, and does so in a manner that suggests a wondering rather than a certainty. This invites Maria to explore the topic further and to give Alex a more nuanced picture of what she is experiencing. Alex contributes further to how Maria makes sense of her experience by presenting the image of striving to balance between guilt that is weighed in two directions.

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