SAGE Video: Series - Counseling & Psychotherapy

  • Becoming a Skilled Counselor

    This film describes ways to create a therapeutic environment within which clients may share confidential information.

    In this short interview, Naijan Zhang, a Professor of Counselor Education at Westchester University, examines empathy, a vital counseling skill. Zhang explains the use of basic counseling skills that demonstrate empathy; he illustrates this with personal experiences.

    In this short interview, Naijan Zhang, a Professor of Counselor Education at Westchester University, examines the skills needed for beginning counselors. Zhang describes the use of basic technigues such as open-ended questions, close-ended questions, summarization, paraphrasing and interpretation.

    This video introduces the importance of goal setting in a counseling environment. By setting reasonable goals, clients experience greater motivation and autonomy.

    In this documentary, Dr. Lynn Zubernis conducts a therapy session with the desired outcome being the client's creation of a goal. Zubernis leads the client through questioning as a means of supporting the client through feelins of disorganization and stress during this process.

    In this interview Richard Parsons, Professor of Counselor Education at Westchester University, discusses what is desired from counseling. He addresses the misconception that counseling is “just a friendly shoulder to cry on.” Parsons explains and reminds the audience of what counseling really is: an intentional process for facilitating change in clients. This can occur through the use of many techniques, including imagery and self-talk or even covert activities.

    Prof. Richard Parsons explains the importance of evaluation and assessment in counseling.

    In this interview, Richard Parsons, a Professor of Counselor Education at Westchester University, examines counselor competency. Parsons emphasizes the importance of continuing a professional education in this continually evolving profession. He emphasizes avoiding burnout and empathy fatigue by keeping up with mental and physical health and enjoying life.

    This film discusses burnout. Personal experiences with burnout, compassionate fatigue, and steps to ensure the health of the caretakers are examined.

    Referring to Chapter 10 in Becoming a skilled counselor, Dr. Zhang and his peers describe professional identity as professionalism, licensure, keeping up with the field, living their professional values, and advocacy for both clients and the profession.

    This case study of a 4-year old who has trouble separating from her parents includes a discussion of the escalation cycle, special challenges, analysis of the counselor's decision, and what a beginning counselor/counseling student should focus on in this scenario.

  • Collaborative Helping Skill

    Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13 years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. Anita checks in with Lee when he returns for a second session. She is curious to know what may have changed in the past week and uses scaling questions to do this. What does she say to ensure he is clear on what the ends of the scale represent? How does she use the questions to differentiate where Lee was at last week from where is at now? At this point, who would you say is more convinced that he has made some helpful initiatives? What tells you this? How does she also capitalize on the moment to speculate about next steps? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Scaling questions are useful both for “assessing” the current state of affairs, but also building on preferred developments. Here Anita is deliberate about characterizing the slight improvement in Lee's situation as a function of something he has done, and she joins him in exploring how he could nudge these changes a little bit further. At this stage, Lee can see she has provided “evidence” of some progress, but it also appears that his discouragement mostly prevails.

  • Collaborative helping skills

    David and Jacques “Identifying exceptions to unhelpful cognitions” Scenario Background Jacques is currently separated from his wife Ali. They have three children: Ellie, 9, and Phil, 10, and Max, 14. Jacques wants to review what he calls “negative patterns” in his relationship with Ali and to some extent the children with the hope of becoming reconciled. The focus of his talks with David here is a scenario that repeats itself when he is with his family: he is in the middle of telling a story or holding forth on some topic and they tune him out, turn to each other, pick up other conversation threads, and leave him stranded. He says he sometimes responds to this by withdrawing and becoming silent, quietly hurt and angry. At other times, he becomes indignant about “his right to be heard” and challenges them angrily, which alienates them rather than promoting intimacy, and has ended at times in him storming out of the room. Video Introduction David becomes curious here about whether Jacques has ever been able to respond differently in situations like the one identified as an Activating Event—moments where he is interrupted while sharing a story with his family. Jacques is able to identify a recent incident with the children. What does David ask to help Jacques identify what is different about his self-talk in this instance? How would you describe this more helpful cognition? What is Jacques' description of the consequences of this self-talk, both emotionally and behaviourally? How does David invite Jacques to consider exploiting this learning for improving his relationship with his children and wife? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis The exception that Jacques identifies here comes from a related, but not identical, situation. In his example, he is just with his children. While David and Jacques are able to identify the useful alternative self-talk in that situation, Jacques is less certain whether he could respond similarly with his wife present. This leads to a further exploration of what is unique about his relationship with his wife, and what might be the possible obstacles to replacing the negative self-talk with his wife. David remains curious about what makes the situation with his wife different, rather than pushing Jacques to defend his doubts about whether the exception they have identified would apply to his relationship with Ali. The exchange ends with Jacques reflecting on how totalizing claims about his wife's lack of care may be overstated. These “cracks” in the negative cognition provide openings for further exploration.

  • Collaborative Helping Skills

    James is caught in a dilemma that can be understood in terms of certain gender prescriptions he is subject to. His girlfriend wants him to “stand up” more for her, and the only way he can understand this phrase is in terms of fighting or violence, which don't fit with his values. David helps James to deconstruct the ideas that are constraining his choices by going with him on a tour of his upbringing, shedding light on male discourses about being “tough” and a “real man." What does James say that shows his harsh self-critique comes from cultural ideas about “how men should be”? How does David help James to see these are ideas, not Truth? What does David ask that helps James figure out where these beliefs came from? How does David help James not only identify but also question the ideas behind the claim and evaluate their impact? How does David avoid this being turned into a blame-the-parents game? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? It has been said the “we are the fish; discourses are the water." In other words, many if not most of the entrenched beliefs we hold and live by are not necessarily visible to us—they are background to our day to day lives. This becomes evident when we travel to other cultures and confront own beliefs and values as they bump into those of the local traditions. Because of this, it can be challenging to help people step back from beliefs that are problematic in their lives, to see them as cultural constructions rather than fundamental truths. That is what David is doing here. His slow-moving attention to the minutiae of James' experience is deliberate—he doesn't want to get ahead of James and would prefer that James comes to new understandings by reflecting with David's support. The most useful discovery that emerges may be that James' mother has been highly influential with his father, and clearly without adopting a pugilistic manner. This provides James with an alternate model for a way of “standing up” that does not involve violence, opening space for him to begin to consider alternatives in his own life.

    Gaya and Sophie “An emerging problem description” Scenario Background Sophie is 27 years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and is sleeping poorly. Video Introduction Watch this segment of a first segment with Gaya as counselor with her client Sophie. It begins with Sophie seeking clarification about limits to confidentiality. Jot down the key words that Sophie then uses to describe the problem that brings her for counselling. What questions does Gaya use to help Sophie expand this description? How does the “plot thicken” in the sense of the description becoming more complex and multifaceted? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis The picture of the problem is an ever evolving thing There are always more angles, more nuance, to draw forth. There is a time when it feels too early to get proactive because the picture is insufficiently clear; and there is a time when it begins to feel as though—though never complete—the picture is adequately filled in to move forward. In this exchange, Gaya intermittently acknowledges Sophie's challenges while inviting her to continue to add “brush strokes” to the emerging picture.

    Christy is the 26-year-old mother of a 2-year old daughter, Cristelle. She returned to her work as an employee assistance plan counselor 4 months ago after being off on a maternity leave. One month after returning to work she separated from her husband John. She has recently moved in with her parents, who she says are caring grandparents but have many opinions about parenting that sometimes cause stresses. Christy says she is not feeling much empathy for clients at work and not getting along with workmates. Having reviewed some of the changes Christy has made, David invites her to anticipate the sort of situations that could lead to a “backslide” so that she can better prepare for them when they come up. How does David introduce this idea and what does he do to prepare Christy for answering the question? What are the potential slippery slopes for Christy and what useful responses to these does she anticipate? What does David ask to ensure Christy paints a clear picture of how to deal with these situations? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? “Relapse prevention” is a term sometimes used to prepare for situations that could reignite difficulties. It can be useful in finishing up work with a client to join them in anticipating the contexts that threaten to cancel the gains made. Here, the notion of the “slippery slope” becomes a metaphor for this possibility, and David supports Christy in examining where that slope might appear both at home with her daughter and parents, as well as at work. Anticipating the risk of backslides is part of the process; the second part is to prepare for these by identifying potential helpful responses to the situations that might arise. As always, David is careful here to ensure Christy's description of those responses is detailed and concrete.

    Lynn is a 59 year old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. At this point, David and Lynn have a clear example of an exception to the problem of the crippling fear she describes coming up in the face of physical challenges. The original exception was a cross country ski outing. David invites Lynn to make meaning of it by characterizing it as part of a “project.” How does David introduce this notion? What name does Lynn ascribe to the project? What does David do to identify a second event that fits this project title? What is the second event that Lynn presents? To what degree does she initially see this second event as an exception to the problem she introduced of being crippled by fear? How do David and Lynn's views of this additional exception evolve as they continue to examine it? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Asking to characterize a development as a “project” is similar to inviting a client to name a book chapter as seen with David and Tina in Naming a preferred development as a book chapter, also in this chapter. It moves the conversation from an event (skiing outing) to the meaning made about the event. By characterizing it as a project, the question also implies that it was not a random “one-off” but part of a larger agenda that Lynn has undertaken. The project title also provides leverage for seeking out similar events; here that title is “Reaching to be the best that I can” and it brings to mind a childhood memory for Lynn of waterskiing. As David and Lynn explore this other event which stands in contradiction to her problem-saturated story, they develop a more refined picture of what she does when she does not allow fear to, as she said, “extricate” herself from the situation. Notice this does not involve vanquishing fear but rather proceeding in the face of it.

    Frank is a 17 year old Iroquois youth who lives on a reservation and is currently in youth detention for breaking parole by smuggling cigarettes across the US/Canada border. His father is currently estranged from the family. He has some younger brothers and sisters. Frank has had troubles with painkiller and alcohol misuse in the past. In this brief exchange, Mark brings some compliments to Frank after a consult with one of the teachers at the correctional center where Frank is currently incarcerated. To what degree does Mark invite Frank to account for the teacher's remarks? What do you think Frank takes away from the exchange? “Cheerleading” is a term for issuing compliments without actively engaging the subject of the praise in processing the compliments. Here Frank is “given” a favorable rating but is not invited to account for it—to process the substance of his accomplishments, and to learn about what knowledge and skills he has drawn on to accomplish what the teacher noticed.

    David and Christie “Clarifying and probing questions” Video Introduction David has just shared the limits to confidentiality and he invites Christie to tell him why she has come in. While he is mostly concerned with giving Christie space to share her story, David also wants to ensure he has a clear picture of her situation. To do this he occasionally interrupts the flow of the story to ask clarifying and probing questions. What are some of the questions he asks and how do they help to add to the picture of Christie's situation? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis There are always decisions to be made about how often to interrupt a client's account to seek clarifications. Too often, and they may feel they are not being heard out. Not often enough, and the counselor may become confused about the situation. When done in measured amounts, asking clarifying and probing questions can convey to the client that you are listening and attending, while ensuring that you are clear on the details of their story. Notice that the tone of Christie's sharing fluctuates here and David responds accordingly. She is clearly struggling and there is cause to convey empathy for her struggles, but there are also lighter aspects to her life as well—such as her young child to whom she is very devoted— and David attempts to greet these with a tone that matches that levity.

    David and Christie “Co-assessing risk” Video Introduction As David explores Christie's options with her, she indicates that moving back in with John is not on the table. David is curious to learn more about John's interactions with Christie because regardless of whether they reconcile, he may continue to be involved in their lives as their daughter Cristelle's father. In this sense, David is assessing risk. What is it about the way he does this that merits the title “Co-assessing?” How does David draw out a detailed account of both Christie's observations, but also her reflections on safety and the possible merits of reunification with John? What questions help to move from vague generalizations to concrete examples? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Like most therapeutic exchanges, conversations focused on evaluating risk can accomplish more than one thing simultaneously. Here David is learning more about the risk of violence based on past history, but also helping Christie to consolidate her commitment to keeping her daughter safe. Rather than taking Christie's pronouncements at face value, David invites her to in effect justify them further by naming the values underlying her decisions. In situations where a lack of clarity regarding those fundamental values could lead to a drift towards a dangerous situation, this helps to ensure that Christie keeps her safety and her child's safety at the forefront. This is accomplished without needing to admonish Christie in a manner that could underestimate her own judgment.

    In this exchange also featured in chapter 4 as Relating to values, skills and abilities, and agency, David is, in effect, assessing for competence. He has heard Christie describe exchanges with her estranged husband, John, and now seeks to enlarge the account of these, with a focus not on problems, but on competencies that she has been able to display in difficult circumstances. Notice this exchange features not a language of “effects” but instead one of responses—while on first view one might conclude Christie “doesn't do anything” in response to John's abusive behavior, a closer inspection reveals that she actively responds in a highly constructive manner. David asks highly specific questions to get a picture of the choices Christie made in the face of challenges. What were the challenges? What were the choices? What questions does David use to expand the description of Christie's active responses and the abilities she displayed? How does he get at her motivation (what made it important enough for her to do it)? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Not “fighting back” or retaliating when someone is aggressive can sometimes be seen as a shortcoming—a failure to “stand up for oneself” that must be remedied with “assertiveness training.” David does not assume Christie's actions are the expression of deficit; instead he listens with the assumption that when people are transgressed, they engage in acts of resistance. He therefore listen for competence and witnesses the story of someone who managed to keep herself and her child safe in a dangerous situation. David's questions seek to unpack this development in all its richness, to determine, among other things: 1. what steps Christie took in responding to John; 2. what skills and abilities were needed to achieve this; 3. what knowledge informed her actions; 4. what values she was busy standing for. Was the incident with John “really” about deficit or competence? The question fails to recognize the interpretive quality of experience. The meaning of the event is not merely “discovered”; it is co-constructed by both David and Christie through their conversation about it. Their exchange contributes to consolidating skills and abilities Christie has never previously named, fortifying her for similar encounters in the future.

    Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13 years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. In a two-way conversation focused on generating a description of something, both speakers contribute words to the description. Here, the task at hand is to develop a rich picture of what is going on for Lee, but it is not only his words that contribute to painting the picture. Pay attention to which key words are added to this exchange by Lee, and which come from Anita. Also look for instances where the introduction of a word by Lee prompts the addition of a new word by Anita, as well as vice verse (Anita's language generates new language from Lee). We do more than merely “transmit” our personal experience to another person when we describe what is going on for us. That's because we can't separate our experience from the language we use to speak about it, and in a two-way conversation, that language multiplies and is enriched by the other person. In this example, Lee puts out words out for Anita to pick up, and Anita generates alternate words herself that serve to expand Lee's experience of what is going on for him. Lee's and Anita's lists of words to describe Lee's experience at the start of this conversation is different than their lists at the end of it. For both of them, their vocabularies have been expanded, giving them more ways to think and talk about Lee's experience. In this way, conversations can extend a person's experience of 'I' through the co-generation of language with a second speaker.

    Tina is a 16 year old student who in recent months has been neglecting her studies and partying heavily with a circle of friends. Recently she had a frightening experience when her friend Nicole was slipped a date rape drug at a rave and ended up in the hospital. This exchange follows on the heels of Characterizing a preferred development, also in this chapter. David and Tina earlier identified a quality of Tina's, “perseverance,” that she has drawn on in her current situation. Watch how David uses this as leverage to explore other possible instances of perseverance in Tina's life. How does he support Tina in reflecting on this? In identifying dance classes when she was younger, she also makes reference to her older sister Jen, who she admires. What does David say to help Tina evaluate the plausibility of this being a second example of her exercising perseverance? What does he ask to help Tina evaluate the payoff, and the values undergirding these actions? How does he help Tina to link this example from the distant past to recent developments in her life? How does he give permission to Tina to evaluate the unfolding story on her own terms? In what way does Tina modify the language David uses to describe these developments? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? A single preferred development is typically the filament of a longer strand, if explored further. That's what happens here. David earlier helped Tina to characterize her actions, which they jointly name as “perseverance.” Now they search for additional examples of this quality in Tina's history. Tina identifies her experience in dance class as a younger person, where she persisted despite some pain and discomfort. David asks about what made it important enough for her to do this, and what the rewards were for her in doing it. As the story unfolds, Tina's mom and her sister Jen emerge as witnesses to these qualities in Tina. David helps Tina to make a link between these earlier events in her life and the recent development of staying home when her friends tried to get her to a rave. As the conversation continues, a view emerges of Tina applying herself–with persistence—to challenge herself and to accomplish something of value to herself. This emerging view will fortify Tina as she continues to take steps towards a preferred outcome not yet fully articulated, but one which represents a departure from the high risk behavior that prompted the recent crisis in her life.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Here Alex is mostly busy listening to Maria and trying to convey an empathetic response to the story she shares. What verbals and nonverbals does he draw on to convey his empathy? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Here, Alex does not offer many of Maria's words back to her, or substitute them with words and phrases of his own. These are additional skills for coordinating meaning (restating and paraphrasing) that you will learn about in later chapters. However, he makes a point of acknowledging that this must have been difficult for Maria, on the chance that his nonverbals alone do not sufficiently convey his empathy.

    Lynn is a 59 year old woman who decided to seek counseling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. Lynn has said she wants to address a long-standing fear that she says has hampered her in taking-on physical challenges. In this exchange, she provides the example of an incident that illustrates the issue. David is primarily concerned with making sure he “gets it”–in other words, coordinating meanings with Lynn. Watch the exchange carefully and identify concrete examples of: 1. Re-stating 2. Paraphrasing 3. Confirming the counselor's understanding (verbally and nonverbally). 4. Recapping Can you identify further questions from David that contribute to clarifying Lynn's experience? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Lynn preceded this concrete description with some general comments about the concern that she seems to have of a “cowardly gene”—the sense that there is something fundamental to her nature in the fear she describes. She then proceeds with the exchange here, providing an example of the situation where the fear comes up. It's important that David gains a clear understanding of her concern if he is going to be helpful to her. He alternates careful listening with giving back the description to Lynn using a combination of her language and his own. Notice how he maintains a tentative tone, constantly inviting Lynn to make adjustments to his descriptions. This is most explicit when he checks on the appropriateness of a word he pitched into the conversation, “catastrophic.” Lynn indicates that this does not quite fit for her. By the end of this brief exchange, David has a more vivid picture of the issue that Lynn hopes to work on.

    David “David's new job #1” Video Introduction In this brief monologue, David is recounting some news to his wife: he has been appointed to an administrative position in his organization. His verbals are not entirely explicit about his feelings regarding this development, but his nonverbals speak loudly. What is his overall message? What specific nonverbals can you name that support your claim? Video Analysis Many studies show that the majority of the meaning we convey comes not through the explicit words but rather in the form of our nonverbals—tone of voice, intonation, body language, facial expressions, volume and velocity of speech, and so on. The key indicators here of David's sour reception to this development are in the nonverbals. Notice how the nonverbals can give highly particular meaning to words spoken, including turning superficially positive phrases into bitter irony and sarcasm.

    David “David's new job #2” Video Introduction In this second monologue on the same topic, the actual words spoken by David are identical, and yet the “message” is strikingly different. What is your take on David's position on his appointment this time through? What nonverbals can you cite to back up you claim? Video Analysis It is not immediately apparent that the text is the same here, as the meaning conveyed is drastically different. Phrases that previously carried heavily negative connotations are now expressions of exuberant gratitude for a development for which he has apparently been waiting a long time. Notice this excerpt both feels much shorter and also times-out shorter, despite the same number of words spoken.

    Maria is a 24-year-old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. In this exchange which followed the one featured in the Problem definition excerpt in this chapter, Maria has begun to richly describe the experience of "being stuck." The problem is gradually being defined by she and Alex. But her preferred outcome is less clear. Alex here seeks a richer description of how things would look in the absence of the problem. What are some questions he uses to accomplish this? What are some of the new words and phrases Maria uses to depict her preferred outcome? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Problems and preferences are flip sides of a coin in many respects; but to have a clear picture of a client's preferred outcome (where they'd like to end up when counselling has been successful) is more than simply identifying an “absence”—that is, the absence of the problem. In other words, it's just as important to evoke thick description of preferred outcomes as it is to do this around problems. Alex seeks this here, using some of the same questions to seek thick description of Maria's preferred outcome as he did in joining her in defining the problem.

    Maria is a 24-year-old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Here, in an example featured as rejecting a suggestion nonverbally in Chapter 5, Alex “pitches” Maria on the notion that she should simply declare her plans to her parents and not be concerned about how they will respond. How responsive is he to Maria's verbals and nonverbals as he does this? What do you see in her body language that gives you indications about what she feels about his idea? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Straight-up advice giving is rarely helpful. It underestimates the client's ability to reflect on their own situation and can promote an oppositional response. This does not suggest counsellors should never bring their ideas to clients; it's in how they are brought and offered that the difference lies. Here, Alex feels strongly about what he thinks Maria should do; but does she agree? Better to either spend more time eliciting a rich account from Maria of her point of view, or place his idea on the table more tentatively for Maria to mull over and respond to.

    David and Noah “Directing the attention to an embodied emotion” Scenario Background Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic, and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” Video Introduction Noah arrives for a session agitated over the multiple responsibilities bearing down on him in his busy life. David here invites him to turn his attention to what is going on in the moment, in his body. How does David introduce this idea? What does he say in order to ensure Noah “buys in” to the idea? What does he do—verbally and nonverbally—to help Noah orient to the here and now? What shifts, if any, do you notice in Noah's nonverbals as the conversation unfolds? What language does Noah come up with to describe the embodied feeling? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis There is a difference between 1. being carried on the current of a feeling, and 2. “sitting on the riverbank,” as it were, to observe the emotion. When we are carried by the emotion we may not even notice it; we simply act out of it and not always in a manner congruent with our intentions. In this brief exchange, David invites Noah to step onto that riverbank briefly. Notice that he anticipates Noah may feel he can't afford to slow down what they eventually call the “racing.” After all, who will mind all the tasks he has to attend to? David is deliberate in acknowledging this to ensure Noah does not feel pushed into this moment of self-examination. David introduces the notion of turning inward gradually, and as he does, Noah's agitation noticeably diminishes. By the end of the exchange, David and Noah emerge with a term, “the racing,” that paints a vivid picture of one aspect of Noah's experience and which will be useful to them as they continue to work together.

    David and Jacques “Disputing unhelpful cognitions and generating alternatives” Scenario Background Jacques is currently separated from his wife Ali. They have three children: Ellie, 9, and Phil, 10, and Max, 14. Jacques wants to review what he calls “negative patterns” in his relationship with Ali and to some extent the children with the hope of becoming reconciled. The focus of his talks with David here is a scenario that repeats itself when he is with his family: he is in the middle of telling a story or holding forth on some topic and they tune him out, turn to each other, pick up other conversation threads, and leave him stranded. He says he sometimes responds to this by withdrawing and becoming silent, quietly hurt and angry. At other times, he becomes indignant about “his right to be heard” and challenges them angrily, which alienates them rather than promoting intimacy, and has ended at times in him storming out of the room. Video Introduction This exchange is a follow-up to the conversation entitled Identifying exceptions to unhelpful cognitions. David and Jacques pick up on Jacques' observation that what goes on with his wife is different than the pattern that plays out with his kids. They review the self-talk that dominates in those exchanges. In doing so, Jacques is aware he is not sure the self-talk is “true.” This comment provides an opening to disputing the self-talk. How does David re-invite Jacques back into evaluating this pattern of relating with his wife in reference to the ABC sequence? David employs Socratic dialogue to invite Jacques to question the validity of the claims and to consider alternatives. What alternative self-talk emerges which appears to offer more helpful consequences in the moment? What questions does David ask to identify this helpful self-talk? How do David and Jacques deal with Jacques' lingering doubts about whether this alternative self-talk will indeed be useful? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Unhelpful self talk is not generated out of thin air; it is grounded in life experience and not easily dislodged. While David and Jacques don't seem to have too much trouble disputing the belief that Ali simply wants to “shut out” Jacques, he is nevertheless not sure the alternative belief (“Ali is bubbly and social and easily distracted”) will be convincing in the moment. In the spirit of this critical inquiry into Jacques' experience, David deliberately assumes a “devil's advocate” position here, pressing Jacques to anticipate what might come up for him in one of those moments that often goes off the rails. Jacques imagines that he might conclude that he is being “treated like a rug,” a belief that brings him back to feelings of anger, hurt, and righteous indignation. At the same time, Jacques labels this response as “childish,” which is a clear statement that he would prefer to respond differently in these situations. These reflections from Jacques provide a foundation he and David to try to respond differently in the coming days, aided by some alternative self-talk. As Jacques says towards the end of the exchange, it can't hurt in that his experiment with shifting his beliefs will almost certainly lead to less conflict.

    Alex and Maria “Effective co-constructing language for the problem” Scenario Background Maria is a 24-year-old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Video Introduction Alex solicits Maria's help in distilling simplified language that they can share for describing the problem at hand. How does Alex help Maria to come up with words for the dilemma she faces? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis It isn't always necessary to find one single word for “the problem,” and that is not the intention of this demonstration. But a “tag” that resonates for the client can be a useful shorthand as therapeutic conversations unfold.

    David and Lynn “Embracing complexity in the client's story” Scenario Background Lynn is a 59 year old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a long-standing concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope, and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. Video Introduction In this exchange, Lynn reflects on whether going forward despite her fear (as she's done on some other occasions) was a possibility when she was snow-shoeing. However, she confronts her doubts about that. She wonders whether in this case she reached “the limits of my ability.” David has a choice here: he could encourage her to remember that she has successfully challenged that fear in the past, or he could entertain with Lynn the possibility that not all of these situations are the same. What does he do? What possible options for Lynn do the two of them identify that are neither 1. becoming paralyzed by fear and “extricating herself” or 2. “extending herself past the fear.” What does Lynn say at this point that shows she has been pulled back into a distinction of being either courageous or a coward? How does David help her to entertain a third position? Where do the two of them end up in relation to the options open to Lynn when she is faced with a significant physical challenge? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis It is convenient for shorthand's sake to refer to “the presenting problem” as though it is a monolithic and static entity. But as therapeutic conversations unfold, both client and counselor come to see and understand problems differently. The picture often becomes more complex, and as a result, the shared objectives of the counseling evolve as well. Earlier, David and Lynn's view of her experience became more complex as they came to realize it is not a simple distinction between 1. being cowardly and 2. being courageous. Courage happens in the presence of fear. Here, Lynn's story become more complex again as a distinction emerges between 1. extending herself despite her fear and 2. recognising the limits of her abilities. It appears that without David holding the possibility of honouring her fear, Lynn might default to concluding that any time she turned away from a challenge it would be proof of her cowardice. As David keeps an alternative possibility alive, Lynn reflects on how she could learn to discern the limits of her ability, so she can choose either to extend herself or to make a dignified and self-honouring choice to not go forward. Note the definition of the problem has changed along with these shifts from 1. being cowardly in the face of physical challenges, to something more like 2. becoming overwhelmed and failing to honour her own judgment of her limits in challenging physical circumstances.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when she was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and often dispenses unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) This is another segment of the Slowing the image down excerpt in this chapter. Meena has described an evening that went well between her mother and herself. But it is not yet clear what Meena did differently. David asks a stylized question to encourage Meena to provide a detailed account of this preferred development. How does he evoke a concrete and specific account of what Meena did? How does he get an account of what Meena did to deal with a response from her mother that would more typically derail her attempts to get along with her mother? How does he evoke a view of what happened through the eyes of others? What phrase do David and Meena end up using to depict what she did to make the evening work? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Here, Meena has had a positive turn in her relationship with her mother; the moment is rife with possibility for learning. But it's hard to “do more of what works” unless you have a clear picture of what you actually did. David helps Meena to examine her evening with her mother in precise detail so she can determine what she did differently. His stylized question is designed to compel an attention to detail not always present in recounting a positive turn of events. By soliciting a view of the evening through Jeremy's eyes, he gathers more detail while also reminding Meena of the impact of these positive events on someone she cares for.

    David and Christie “Expanding a client's account through summarizing” Video Introduction Christie has just talked about some helpful shifts she's made in her attitude towards her work and towards the task of being a parent. David summarizes some of what she has just said as well as drawing on previous descriptions she has shared. What new phrases does he seem to add to the description? What, if anything, does he do to ensure these fit for Christie? Video Analysis Summarizing is more than repeating words spoken by the client. There is a selective task at hand as the counselor weaves a story of what has been discussed to this point, highlighting thematic threads and foregrounding client values, skills, intentions, and so on. There is always a choice involved in what to summarize and how to summarize it, and the decision is always ethical—in other words, it should be informed by a consideration of what will be helpful to the client.

    David and Maureen “Exploring and disputing unhelpful self-talk” Scenario Background Maureen is a graduate student with some clear career ambitions who is stressed about a compulsory statistics course she is currently taking. Her grade on a minor assignment was lower than anticipated, and she is busy convincing herself that she is almost certain to fail, jeopardizing her longer-term career plans. Video Introduction in this exchange, Maureen has identified that she is feeling stressed about a compulsory statistics course she's taking. She needs the course to accomplish her career objectives and is afraid that she will fail. David helps Maureen paint a picture of what she “tells herself” and does, both in class and at home, in relation to the course. What questions does he ask? What are some of the key answers? Although mostly engaged in gaining a general view of the situation, David does uncover a number of things that will be useful in challenging the unhelpful cognitions. These include “evidence” that is contrary to what Maureen tells herself when pessimistic, as well as exceptions in the form of related situations where Maureen succeeded with challenging tasks by applying herself and focusing down. Can you name the contrary evidence and the exceptions that David and Maureen uncover? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis As David explores Maureen's situation with her, it is not long before he uncovers “evidence” that her dire and pessimistic predictions about her prospects are likely exaggerated. However, he refrains from taking an argumentative and oppositional stance, instead maintaining a gentle curiosity that invites Maureen to evaluate alternate ways of looking at things. This conversation is somewhat preparatory to more focused work on revising unhelpful cognitions; nevertheless, it does uncover some fertile prospects. For one, David discovers that Maureen's grade on her first assignment is close to the class average and does not seem to indicate that her abilities are far out of line with course expectations. Second, he discovers that the assignment was only worth 10%, and she therefore has a significant opportunity ahead of her to boost her grades. Third, David becomes curious about whether Maureen has previously succeeded at tasks that initially seemed daunting and unachievable. She recounts her successes in learning to play clarinet. This experience came with helpful cognitions, and David and Maureen consider ways in which she might apply this more productive self-talk to the situation at hand.

    Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13 years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. In this exchange, Anita hears Lee's reluctance to share his distress with his parents as associated with his membership in the cultural subgroup of men. In other words, she hears him as a somewhat “typical” male who is not inclined to share his feelings. Lee understands it differently. To what does he ascribe his choice not to disclose to his parents? How does Anita respond to Lee's clarification on this topic and what impact does the exchange have on their quest for mutual understanding? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Lee's situations has various cultural currents running through it. As a second generation immigrant, he is well integrated into dominant society and at the same time has a foot in his parents' country of origin, China. And while Anita also is a second generation immigrant, her East Indian heritage differs from lee's Chinese background. At the same time, Lee is a man and Anita a woman and this introduces a second cross-cultural dimension to their conversation. A third distinction which arises elsewhere is that Anita comes more from an urban, middle class context while Lee's parents were poor farmers before emigrating. Anita and Lee must negotiate these various contextual differences as they seek to understand each other.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase”. She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Here Maria tells a story in an expressive manner, and Alex notices what seems to be incongruence between what he imagines the experiences was like for Maria, and the tone she shares it in. What do you notice about Maria's nonverbals in relation to what she is sharing? How does Alex share his observation without dismissing Maria's mode of expression? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? There are no universal rules for what nonverbals should accompany what emotions, but nevertheless, for two speakers from a relatively similar cultural context, there are common patterns. Here, Alex witnesses an expression on Maria's face that does not fit with how he imagines the incident she describes must have felt for her. How hurtful was this experience? Maria is not saying explicitly and Alex takes the chance to comment on her nonverbal as a way to touch base with her on her experience of the event. In doing so Maria offers more and confirms Alex's hunch in the process.

    David and Meena “Externalizing while exploring the challenge of straddling two cultures” Scenario Background Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions and often dispenses unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) Video Introduction In this excerpt from the Straddling cultures video featured in Chapter One, David and Meena gradually find language to externalize the problem which he had earlier referred to as “the Bollywood version.” Meena responded to this earlier attempt at externalizing the problem, indicating that it did not quite fit for her. What term do they come up with here to describe the problem? David then sets out to determine the effects of this externalized problem in Meena's life. What questions does he use to achieve this? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Externalizing is a linguistic practice that helps to separate a person from a problem, uncovering new possibilities that are not available when clients feel they are the problem. From this one step removed position it's easier to examine the negative repercussions of problems in a person's life. Here David asks a number of questions to help he and Meena get a picture of how the “cloud” operates in her life. It “speaks” in a judgmental voice that can feel heavy and discouraging. It also often comes between Meena and Jeremy, and Jeremy can identity it in Meena's mood: she is “more short” and “finds things to be upset about.” David and Meena also discover that while the cloud has a dark quality, it lightens from time to time. As they continue to explore the problem as externalized, they come to make a distinction between some of the values associated with “traditional” Indian culture that Meena is interested in aspiring to, versus the negative critique and self-judgment sometimes associated with the cloud.

    Gaya and Sophie “Externalizing: Separating person and problem” Scenario Background Sophie is 27 years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and she is sleeping poorly. Video Introduction Sophie has identified “worry” as a term to capture the problem most preoccupying her right now. What does Gaya do to learn more about the problem while separating it from Sophie's identity? What questions does she ask to get a sense of how worry operates in Sophie's life? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Seeing and hearing clients as something other than the problems they are contending with is a respectful and helpful way of orienting to them; externalizing is a linguistic practice that converts that posture into words. In separating person and problem, externalizing “opens space,” giving people the chance to observe and reflect on their experience rather than merely acting it out. The result is heightened choices.

    Frank “Frank's Monologue” Scenario Background Frank is a 17 year old Iroquois youth who lives on a reservation and is currently in youth detention for breaking parole by smuggling cigarettes across the US/Canada border. His father is currently estranged from the family. He has some younger brothers and sisters. Frank has had troubles with painkiller and alcohol misuse in the past. Video Introduction Frank is a 17 year old youth in detention for smuggling cigarettes across the border. As he introduces himself, “double listen” to his story and see if you can identify any of the following in what he relates: 1. Expressions of agency 2. Opinions and proactive steps informed by values 3. Examples of skills and abilities implemented in the face of challenges. Video Analysis Many youth in detention are dealing with a wide range of challenges, including abuse, poverty, and violence. Coupled with the events that led to their incarceration, these can promote discouragement, and make it difficult to listen for the constructive and life-affirming aspirations these young people hold, as well as the skills and abilities they posses that will help them achieve these. And yet, with the luxury of being able to stop the tape and slow the monologue down, you may notice that Frank shares many hopes for his future, and relates a story that speaks of a range of knowledges, skills and abilities that could help him to achieve those aspirations.

    David and Lynn “Identifying a preferred devlopment” Scenario Background Lynn is a 59 year old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. Video Introduction In this exchange, David has just learned that despite being overcome by fear recently while snowshoeing, Lynn had successfully negotiated her fear the day previous to that. This, for Lynn, is a preferred development because she has clearly indicated she would like to deal differently with the fear and anxiety when they come up. What does David do here to ensure Lynn has a platform to clearly describe this development? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis There are always gaps in problem-saturated stories. And yet they are frequently not noticed by people struggling with challenges because of the influence of a dominant story highlighting what is going “wrong.” Sometimes the gaps are visible to counselors who are “double listening” for events that stand outside the problem story. In that case, the counselor can immediately plunge into learning more about this “gap” in the problem story. Other times, it might be necessary to actively inquire about preferred developments in the recent or distant past. In this case, (as seen originally in Chapter Ten), David asked about an exception. This excerpt features Lynn describing one—a single event that becomes the focus of some highly useful explorations by David and Lynn.

    Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” This exchange is a follow up to the one called Directing attention to an embodied emotion, also in this chapter. David and Noah now have a term, “the racing,” to describe a problematic emotional state for Noah. What does David ask to identify a context that, while similar in other respects, was not accompanied by this mood? What does Noah cite as some of the helpful things he did in that context that he is not doing in the current one? How does David support him in distilling a detailed account of what precisely he was doing differently then? What do David and Noah do to critically evaluate whether this context is reasonably similar to his current one, and thus present some feasible options? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? David and Noah have some useful shared language (“the racing”) to depict an unwanted feeling of being stressed and overwhelmed. They have already determined it is associated with having “many balls in the air.” David helps Noah to identify another time when he was equally busy with a multitude of responsibilities, but when “the racing” was not a problem. Noah identifies a number of self-care activities he was engaging in at that time. David and Noah evaluate whether the previous context was reasonably similar, such that it might be possible to initiate some of these activities in Noah's current context. Notice that David does not leap at the possibilities offered by this exception, but rather invites Noah to evaluate whether it might provide some options. The methodical evaluation here is similar to the care taken in setting achievable goals.

    Alex and Maria “Ineffective co-constructing language for the problem” Scenario Background Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Video Introduction Here Alex's attempt to characterize Maria's experience is not well received by Maria. What is it about his choice of words and his manner of presenting them that seems not to work for Maria? How does Maria respond and where does that take the two of them? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis When a client feels they have permission to correct the counselor, the effect of the counselor “missing the mark” can be a further coordination of meaning. That's what happens here as Maria supplies new language to describe how she is feeling in her current circumstances. If Alex is able to make adjustments in response to Maria's input, he will increase the coordination of their understanding and contribute to strengthening the therapeutic relationship.

    David and Lynn “Inquiring about exceptions” Scenario Background Lynn is a 59 year old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope, and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. Video Introduction Having heard Lynn's descriptions of the fear that overcomes her in physically challenging situations, David asks about exceptions. How does he formulate the question in a way that helps Lynn identify an example that stands outside the problem she has described? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis When problems are well entrenched, they easily persuade us that they are always present and that things have never been any different—as unlikely as this is. Here, David helps Lynn out when he asks her about possible exceptions by deliberately posing the question as to whether this concern of hers has always been present, never presenting a single gap. As it turns out she may not have needed so much diligent help, as she is able to identify an exception from the day before the incident she has already described.

    David and Chrstie "Introducing a client to embodied attention" Video Introduction The first time a client is introduced to the practice of turning their attention inwards to their embodied experience, some additional coaching helps to orient them to what may be a novel process. What does David say here to give Christy some degree of choice in how she proceeds? What senses does he “recruit” in order to invite her to connect with the hear and now? In introducing the breath, how does he help her to differentiate the subtleties of her experience? How would you describe David's auditory nonverbals through this sequence? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis There are many contexts where it might be useful for a client to take a moment to attend to their inner experience. This could be to further an exploration of that experience in the room in the here and now, or to prepare for doing more of this outside of the session. It's a good idea to explain the potential utility of this practice before inviting someone to try it out. In coaching a client to engage in what is in effect an introductory guided meditation, it's useful to direct their attention to what they notice directly through their senses—something we often neglect as we get caught up in thoughts which carry us to other places and times. Noticing the body in the chair and background sounds in the room are two easy ways to become more grounded in the moment. The breath is typically the anchor for many meditative practices and here David invites Christy to notice it at both the nostrils and the diaphragm. Over time she will choose which location works best for her. The debrief afterwards is an opportunity for clients to articulate what she was experiencing—information that can be used to make adjustments to the process.

    Noah is a 30-year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?" Noah and David have met a handful of times about the issue they have called “the racing” (to capture the sense of the constant pressure he's been feeling to keep up with his responsibilities). Noah has taken some initiatives to engage in self-care activities and that has been effective for him; however, to his surprise he is now grappling with a feeling of guilt for doing this. What are the two key ways that Noah has attempted to deal with the guilt? What does David do to help him articulate these? How does David work with these two examples to provide a rationale for proposing an alternate approach to dealing with the guilt? What does he do to ensure Noah exercises a choice in contemplating this alternative? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? There are various ways to deal with challenges, and sometimes when one (or more) are not working, it's worth entertaining an alternate approach. Here Noah has tried talking himself out of his guilt to no avail. He has also tried shutting it out, but this has only provoked it, leading him to feel restless. David carefully reiterates Noah's own account of how these approaches have not been helpful to him before introducing a third option—a shift in his relationship with the problem. Until now Noah has been “doing battle with” the guilt. David wonders aloud about what it might be like to be present to the guilt rather than trying to vanquish it.

    David and Jacques “Investigating the ABC sequence” Scenario Background Jacques is currently separated from his wife Ali. They have three children: Ellie, 9, and Phil, 10, and Max, 14. Jacques wants to review what he calls “negative patterns” in his relationship with Ali and to some extent the children with the hope of becoming reconciled. The focus of his talks with David here is a scenario that repeats itself when he is with his family: he is in the middle of telling a story or holding forth on some topic and they tune him out, turn to each other, pick up other conversation threads, and leave him stranded. He says he sometimes responds to this by withdrawing and becoming silent, quietly hurt and angry. At other times, he becomes indignant about “his right to be heard” and challenges them angrily, which alienates them rather than promoting intimacy, and has ended at times in him storming out of the room. Video Introduction In this exchange, David and Jacques explore the sequence of activating event, belief, and consequence that has been problematic for Jacques in his relationship with his wife and children. How does David introduce the connection between activating event, belief, and consequence to Jacques? What does he ask to solicit a vivid picture of the activating event? How do David and Jacques move from the event, to the self-talk that accompanies it? What are the primary messages that take hold of Jacques in those moments? How does David help Jacques to name and clarify these? How does he introduce an examination of the consequences of these thoughts on Jacques? How would you describe the fallout of these thoughts as depicted by Jacques? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Jacques feels trapped by a pattern of interaction with his wife and children and is interested in responding differently in a familiar situation that often plays out poorly for their relationship. Note that this exchange is not about trying to determine the why of what feels for Jacques like automatic behavior, but more like laying out the what, so that he can make an active choice to respond in an alternate way more in line with his intentions. Notice also that the self-talk that arises in these situations has variations, but has a sort of thematic unity that leads to certain consequences. The consequences vary somewhat as well but share the quality of detracting from the relationship. Sometimes he goes silent; sometimes he storms out of the room. Both responses are associated with feeling hurt and angry, and neither helps to strengthen his connection to his wife and children. By the end of this exchange, Jacques is clearer on how this sequence unfolds, and David and Jacques are in a position to examine it in more detail in preparation for doing things differently.

    Gaya and Sophie “Inviting a client to evaluate a suggestion” Scenario Background Sophie is 27 years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and is sleeping poorly. Video Introduction Here, Gaya has some thoughts about what would be helpful to Sophie. Rather than keep this to herself, what does she do instead? What do you notice in her verbals and nonverbals that conveys an invitation to Sophie to critically evaluate the suggestion she brings it into the conversation? How does the exchange play out? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis It's usually more effective to draw ideas out of clients through skilful questions than to pitch ideas directly at them—for reasons that by now should be fairly evident. But once a working relationship is established, a counselor can gauge whether the client is likely to critically evaluate suggestions, and these can be offered in a tentative manner that telegraphs that invitation to critique. Here this is what Gaya does both through her nonverbals and verbals. The result is that Sophie does make a discernment about what fits for her.

    David and Noah “Inviting presence to embodied experience” Scenario Background Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year-old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” Video Introduction David has solicited Noah's interest in entertaining a revised relationship with guilt. How does he ensure the guilt is “in the room” so that Noah can examine it in the moment? What does David say to clarify the posture that he is inviting Noah to take in relation to the guilt? How does David coach the use of the breath as Noah examines his inner experience? What are some of the specific descriptions that Noah has of the guilt? In what ways does the problem description become more complex and multi-faceted as Noah examines the guilt in the moment? How does David support this examination? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis David reviews aloud what Noah has said about the guilt to “stir it up”—at least sufficiently that Noah might attend to it in the moment. Here, David and Noah have some experience of doing this, so the process of turning the attention inward unfolds more quickly with less coaching. David then invites Noah to scan for the guilt in his inner experience. Notice he gives Noah time for this, coaching him to attend to his breathing. Notice also that he invites Noah to be present without judgment but with curiousity. He acknowledges this could be challenging for Noah as Noah identifies that there is fear and caring associated with the guilt. As the description of the guilt becomes more complex, David coaches Noah to sit with it, to breathe into it, and to do no more that that. All of this will be useful to David and Noah in their continued conversations.

    Anita and Lee “Limits to Confidentiality” Scenario Background Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13 years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. Video Introduction In this example, Anita does a brisk job of running through limits to confidentiality. What are the contexts she mentions in which she may choose to, or be required to, break confidentiality? She also shares a little bit about herself; what purpose do you think this serves? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis Anita ensures that Lee is given space to ask clarifying questions here, but she does not spend much time with this disclosure of the limits to confidentiality. In cases where the client has already read a consent form prior to meeting the counselor, this face to face re-iteration of the details provides a forum to seek clarification and discuss the details further. In some cases, clients are asked to sign a form indicating their consent. The brief autobiographical detail conveys to Lee that Anita is open to sharing about her experience, but its brevity also telegraphs the message that it is Lee's story that is the primary focus of these conversations.

    David and Jacques “Loosening the grip of unhelpful cognitions” Scenario Background Jacques is currently separated from his wife Allie. They have three children: Ellie, 9; Phil, 10; and Max, 14. Jacques wants to review what he calls “negative patterns” in his relationship with Allie and to some extent the children with the hope of becoming reconciled. The focus of his talks with David here is a scenario that repeats itself when he is with his family: he is in the middle of telling a story or holding forth on some topic and they tune him out, turn to each other, pick up other conversation threads, and leave him stranded. He says he sometimes responds to this by withdrawing and becoming silent, quietly hurt and angry. At other times, he becomes indignant about “his right to be heard” and challenges them angrily, which alienates them rather than promoting intimacy, and has ended at times in him storming out of the room. Video Introduction As David and Jacques continue to explore Jacques' experience around his conflicts with his wife, it becomes apparent that a particular thought–that she doesn't care and wants to shut him out–has a strong grip on him, even though he is able to identify evidence to the contrary. In this exchange, David invites Jacques to reflect on the ebb and flow of this unhelpful cognition. What questions does he ask that support Jacques in noticing the variability of his self-talk with regard to his wife, Allie? What does Jacques discover? What suggestions does David offer about what Jacques might want to try out in the coming week? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis By now, Jacques has clearly described how this particular negative self-talk bullies its way to the foreground of his experience and blinds him to interactions with Allie that are contrary to the self-talk's claims. As David gently probes further along with Jacques, it becomes clear that this perception of Ali exists alongside others which promote more constructive responses in line with Jacques' desire to attempt a reconciliation with his wife. This exchange is not about arguing about which of Jacques' various perceptions/thoughts are “true”; on the contrary, the point is that Jacques' thoughts vary throughout the day and give rise to a variety of emotional and behavioral responses. On the basis of this inquiry, Jacques commits to stepping back and observing the parade of mental events over the coming week. He concludes that whether doing so is key to re-connecting with his wife, at the very least, it should diminish the negative interactions that have damaged the relationship.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase”. She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. In this example, Alex has the same idea as the one he offered in the “offering direct advice” scenario. But he brings it forward differently. What do you notice is different about how he brings his point of view to the conversation? What is different about how Maria takes it up? How does the outcome of this exchange differ? What might the implications be for the therapeutic relationship? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently. While it is generally more productive for counselors to elicit clients' ideas than to pitch their own, there are times when a counselor may have a strong impression that a particular way forward would be useful. Handled clumsily, this turns into direct advice giving, which frequently gets met with a push-back. Here Alex has an idea about how Maria might deal with her impasse. But he offers it in a manner that invites Maria to critique, which she does with a clear account of why Alex's idea does not fit for her cultural context. The exchange moves them both into examining more realistic alternatives.

    David and Noah “Orienting to responses” Scenario Background Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” Video Introduction This video is paired with the Orienting to victimhood video to illustrate the outgrowth of two distinct ways of orienting to Noah's account. In this exchange, Noah has just identified the event as an act of racism—not a conclusion that immediately came to his mind but one which arose from some scaffolded inquiry from David. What aspects of what happened does David seem particularly interested in this time around? What problem becomes the focus of the conversation between Noah and David, and where is that problem located? What attributes of Noah not initially identified by him come to light as a consequence of this way of orienting? How fortified for encountering similar events do you imagine Noah is feeling at the completion of this exchange? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis In this instance, the counselor is operating on the assumption that in the face of oppression, violence and abuse, people resist in some way that is congruent with the context in which it occurs. This resistance is an active response, informed by what is important to the person on the receiving end, and it is not necessarily obvious or covert. David approaches his conversation with Noah supported by these assumptions. As a result, he becomes curious about what Noah “did” in the wake of the racist comment. The question initially puzzles him but David is persistent. What emerges is an account of how Noah “shut out” the man who made the remark, and this leads to a further exploration of related protests against racism that Noah has made. The important conclusion between the two orientations demonstrated in connection with this racist incident is not about which is “true,” but rather what are the repercussions of each inquiry? This response-based inquiry has empowers Noah by acknowledging his history of speaking out against racism. This will not only counteract a misplaced sense of shame from the incident, but will also support him in any similar future encounters.

    David and Noah “Orienting to victimhood” Scenario Background Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic, and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” Video Introduction This video is paired with the Orienting to responses video to illustrate the outgrowth of two distinct ways of orienting to Noah's account. In this exchange, Noah has just shared the story of an ugly incident described in the scenario background summaries for the videos. As David listens to Noah's story, what does David zero in on as “the problem?” Would you say he is more oriented to Noah's active responses to events, or his shortcomings in dealing with them? What deficit of Noah's is constructed in this conversation based on this way of orienting to his story? What remedial “treatment” is recommended to address the purported deficit? How fortified for encountering similar events do you imagine Noah is feeling at the completion of this exchange? Video Analysis There is a difference between 1. Expressing empathy and compassion to someone recounting transgressions against them, and 2. Constructing the event as passive victimhood. Here the counsellor receives Noah's story empathetically, before launching an inquiry into how Noah purportedly failed to respond appropriately in the situation. The assumption is that he could have “done something” but instead was a passive victim. There is not an understanding of his response as a choice (conscious or not) informed by values, and expression of nonviolence, a silent protest. The outcome of the exchange is that Noah comes to learn that he needs to be “more assertive,” and that assertiveness is a commodity he can fill up on with the help of his counsellor. The meaning of the incident that emerges from this exchange is that it is evidence of a deficit in Noah's repertoire.

    Noah is a 30-year-old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year-old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic, and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” David and Noah here agree on some possible “homework” for the coming week. The exchange follows on two segments from Chapter Thirteen: Directing attention to an embodied emotion and Identifying exceptions to emotions. Noah has identified previous activities that helped to counteract the problem of “the racing” (feeling stressed and overwhelmed) that he has described. How does David prepare Noah for entertaining homework for the week ahead? What does he do to ensure Noah's plan is concrete and achievable? What additional task does David pitch into the mix and why? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? In effect, homework is goal-setting. It involves collaborating with clients to establish some steps they will take which will hopefully lead to a preferred outcome. Not all clients are interested in establishing concrete homework tasks for the week between therapeutic conversations. In this case, Noah has clearly shown he is interested in concrete tasks, and David reminds him of that before joining Noah in planning homework for the week ahead. As in any collaborative goal-setting, David anticipates obstacles to achieving the homework and invites Noah to anticipate these, so that the agreed-upon tasks are achievable in Noah's present context.

    David and Lynn “Presenting a problem-saturated story” Scenario Background Lynn is a 59-year-old woman who decided to seek counseling to work through a long-standing concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope, and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. Video Introduction In this exchange featured in Chapter Six as Coordinating meaning, Lynn lays out a mostly problem-saturated account of herself as an introduction to why she has decided to seek counseling. What is the dominant message about herself that Lynn presents? What “evidence” for this account of herself does she lay forth? What alternate views of Lynn can you entertain, and what is it in her story that points to these? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis It is common for people to feel they are the problem when they are struggling with difficulties. It is also common for the feeling of being overwhelmed by challenges to act as blinders that make it difficult to notice events that stand outside of the problem–this is what is meant by being immersed in a “problem saturated story.” Here, Lynn presents her story about what happened on the weekend as an account of her identity as well. She sees the event as one further confirmation of a negative view of herself. While it is possible to hear her story differently, this is difficult for Lynn at this time, and part of the task in working with her will be to invite her to make different meaning of the situation in order to create new possibilities for thought, emotion and action.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase”. She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Here Alex picks up on Maria's reference to being “stuck.” He “unpacks” the word further by inquiring as to what it means to Maria. He also solicits further description. Look for particular questions that are designed to elicit a multi-layered description of Maria's experience. What new dimensions of her experience of being stuck are revealed? What descriptive adjectives emerge from the exchange to enrich their vocabulary for talking about being stuck? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Alex here does not assume that he absolutely knows what “stuck” means to Maria. His curiosity propels further questions that allow him to elicit thick description of Maria's experience. “Stuckness” comes with both “sadness” and “frustration”. Having a clearer picture of what is problematic for Maria will also help both Alex and Maria to determine when things are getting better.

    Sophie is 27-years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and is sleeping poorly. In this exchange, Gaya takes a stab at problem definition. What stands out for you in how she does this? To what degree is Gaya's voice included here versus Sophie's voice? What is it about Gaya's approach that contributes to this? What do you see in Sophie's body language that tells you about how receptive she is to their process? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? If the client is not granted “naming rights”, then much of the conversation can happen in a language that does not fit for capturing their experience. It is important to involve clients in problem definition, despite an inclination to rely on “professional knowledge” to identify what is problematic, perhaps in a vocabulary foreign to the client. This does not preclude the possibility of the counselor's observations being part of problem definition, but in combination with the client's input. The end result will often be a term that is resonant with the client's vocabulary—something absent in this example.

    Peter is a 35 year old man who is currently unemployed. His partner is very busy with her career and Peter feels she barely notices that he is struggling. Normally very active physically, Peter has given up on exercising. He is saying no to social invitations and has also stopped engaging in one of his favorite hobbies, watching films. He describes a sort of numbness: he says he “doesn't' think” about any of these things. While he can identify a degree of “anxiety”, he has difficulty articulating his emotional experience. Here Marc opens with a recap that helps to orient Peter to the discussion to come. He ends by confirming his understanding with Peter before seeking a thicker description of the problem. What questions do you notice that help to paint a vivid picture of what the problem looks like in Peter's life? What does Marc do to ensure that Peter is not suicidal? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? In this exchange, Marc checks in on Peter's ideation to ensure he is not contemplating suicide. Notice he does not dance around the topic but names it explicitly. He is transparent in seeking permission to ask about Peter's possible suicidality. Suicide does not appear as a current risk, so while Marc will keep it in mind, he does not pursue the topic further at this time.

    Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13-years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. In this excerpt, also featured in Chapter Two, Anita is working with Lee at problem definition. Anita uses a variety of questions to generate a multifaceted description of Lee's experience. Which questions stand out for you? Together, Anita and Lee identify a range of words to describe the problematic dimensions of his experience; what are some of the key terms they develop? There are various dimensions to Lee's concerns. To prematurely hone in on just one would hamper the opportunity to get a bigger picture of what is going on for him and risk leaving out some important details. Anita's questions range over various territories of experience, gradually enabling she and Lee to paint a multidimensional picture of what's going on for him.

    Gaya and Sophie “Problem Definition II” Scenario Background Sophie is 27 years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong, and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and she is sleeping poorly. Video Introduction This is a second example of Gaya taking a stab at defining the problem. How does it differ from the former? Would you say Sophie's voice is more or less prominent in this problem definition? What is it about Gaya's practice that contributes to this? What is different in Sophie's body language and what does it tell you about how receptive she is to their process? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis There are many ways to describe challenges or problems, and these can shift over time. Nevertheless, it can be useful to consolidate some shared language that can be used by counselor and client. Here Gaya uses a fair bit of restating, pitching a few options at Sophie in inviting her to name the problem she is interested in working on. Sophie pitches a few words back at Gaya, who restates again. This leads to Sophie picking a word that resonates well for her, which turns out to be different from those mentioned to this point. For the time being “worry” will be a useful shorthand the two of them can draw on as necessary when speaking of what is problematic for Sophie. This of course does not preclude their vocabulary continuing to evolve as they continue to talk.

    In this example of recapping, Christie has just spent a few minutes laying out her situation, and David takes the chance to recap both to ensure his understanding fits for her and to give her a breather before they move on. What do you see in Christie's response to the recapping, and what do you think it suggests about its impact on her? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? For many people struggling with life's challenges, much of their distress comes from not having shared their concerns with anyone. One of the most significant aspects of counselling is simply the experience of having one's story told and heard. Here David's brief recap signals to Christie that she has been heard. The sense of relief that she has “got it out there” to someone is palpable in her response to the recap.

    Peter is a 35 year old man who is currently unemployed. His partner is very busy with her career and Peter feels she barely notices that he is struggling. Normally very active physically, Peter has given up on exercising. He is saying no to social invitations and has also stopped engaging in one of his favorite hobbies, watching films. He describes a sort of numbness: he says he “doesn't think” about any of these things. While he can identify a degree of “anxiety,” he has difficulty articulating his emotional experience. Peter has returned for a second session with Marc. After a few moments of settling in, Marc turns to Peter's presenting concerns by recapping some highlights of his description of his mood from last week. How does this orient Peter to the conversation to follow? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? There are always many choices as to how to start a therapeutic conversation. One option is to simply ask the client what they would like to share this week. This has the advantage of giving space for the client to speak about what is in the foreground for them at the moment. However, there is also the risk that there might be too much discontinuity with previous conversations. Here, Marc is aware he needs to know more about Peter's experience of feeling sad and anxious, so he prepares Peter to pick up where he left off by recapping highlights of what Peter shared the previous week. A recap acts as a scaffold (see glossary or Chapter 10) which helps prepare Peter to share richly on the topic at hand.

    Lynn is a 59-year-old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense that the anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations is an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. This excerpt follows on the heels of the exchange called coordinating meaning--also in this chapter. Having spent some time getting a clear description of Lynn's presenting concern, David recaps here as a bridge to moving onto a wider assessment of her situation. See if you can identify concrete illustrations of the following practices by David in the exchange: 1. Restating 2. Paraphrasing 3. Confirming the counselor's understanding (verbally and nonverbally). What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Recapping serves multiple purposes. It doesn't only provide an opportunity to confirm the counselor's understanding; it also provides a breather which allows both parties to let the conversation to this point “sink in.” And more than that, because it is based on re-stating and paraphrasing, it typically generates additional descriptions because as a person hears their experience handed back to them, they often tap into additional aspects not yet articulated. This happens here, helping David and Lynn to consolidate a thicker description prior to moving forward.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase." She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. In this clip, Alex begins by inviting Maria to ask clarifying questions after he shares the limits to confidentiality. Maria then introduces the concern that brings her in. Alex works at creating space for Maria to share her story. What are some of the skills you notice him using to convey empathy and to encourage Maria to share her account? What does he do specifically to ensure his understanding of her experience matches hers? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Early in the work with a new client it is not unusual to leave large spaces for them to “get their story out." Here Alex does that. He is primarily concerned with accomplishing a couple of key things: 1) he wants to convey empathy and compassion and reassure Maria that he is attending to her concerns; 2) he wants to ensure he has a reasonable grasp of what's going on for Maria, and along with that he wants also to be confident Maria experiences him as “getting it." At times he interjects to clarify points, and at times he restates some of Maria's key words or paraphrases to communicate how he is making sense of what he is hearing and to convey his concern.

    Sophie is 27-years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed, worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband, and is sleeping poorly. Sophie recounts that she feels like a failure as a mother, and Gaya wonders if there's room for Sophie's expectations of what a mother should be to change in light her newfound stress, or indeed if they have changed because of it.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots, and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these role-plays.) In this unedited exchange, Meena describes the latest developments over the past week in her relationship with her mother. David relates as an ally as Meena recounts her story. In other words, he perceives Meena as an agent of her actions, someone who makes choices, informed by values, in the face of challenges. Notice how the questions he asks reflect this orientation. What evidence of agency, value and choice does he uncover? What apparent impact does this have on Meena's sense of her own efficacy, and on her motivation to continue to make changes to a troubling relationship? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? There are many compelling reasons for counselors to relate as allies to the clients they work with. First of all, it conveys respect and honors the dignity of persons who seek services. Secondly, it acknowledges peoples' efforts in the face of challenges, fortifying the therapeutic relationship in the process. Thirdly, it does not merely make competence more visible, it also contributes to fortifying and consolidating competence. Listening and relating to clients is not a passive act. We have a direct impact on the persons we are in conversation with in the way we receive them.

    Frank is a 17-year-old Iroquois youth who lives on a reservation and is currently in youth detention for breaking parole by smuggling cigarettes across the US/Canada border. His father is currently estranged from the family. He has some younger brothers and sisters. Frank has had troubles with painkiller and alcohol misuse in the past. In this exchange, Frank's counselor Marc focuses his curiosity on some initiatives Frank has been taking to engage with his schooling. What questions does Mark ask that convey that he is a witness to the positive steps Frank has been taking and that he believes in Frank's ability to make sound choices? What impact do you see this having on Frank's willingness to share? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? To relate to someone as an ally is to walk alongside them, to pull for them as they face challenges, to hold onto a view of their best intentions even as they stumble along the road. Frank has been doing some stumbling of late, and it has landed him in jail. This does not deter Mark from relating to him as an ally, however. Notice here that Mark's orientation to Frank draws out a particular "side" of Frank that he is unlikely to share with other youth in his facility. These conversations provide an opportunity for Frank to name values, purposes and intentions that promise better days ahead, and to consolidate these further with a witness who honors his efforts.

    Alex and Maria “Resistance as nonverbal cooperation” Scenario Background Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Video Introduction When clients seem unwilling to discuss or explore certain topics, they are providing useful information to counselors. In this sense, they are “cooperating,” as Steve de Shazer has said. What do you see in Maria's response when Alex inquires about how guilt plays out in her relationship with her partner Lisa? What has she “told” Alex here about her comfort discussing guilt in connection to Lisa? If you were Maria's counselor, what might you do in response to her response? Video Analysis Alex is working on the notion that the guilt that Maria refers to likely applies not only to her parents but also to Lisa. Maria has not explicitly said this, though, and when Alex raises the notion, Maria seems visibly uncomfortable. Her discomfort is not necessarily a problem; it all depends on how Alex works with it. If he is insensitive to it and prevails without giving Maria a chance to share her discomfort and give permission to explore this area further, there could be a deterioration in the working relationship. If Alex makes space for Maria to name her concerns and unpack her discomfort, they may both enrich the conversation and move it forward.

    David and Noah “Revising the relationship with a problem” Scenario Background Noah is a 30-year-old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year-old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic, and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” Video Introduction David here supports Noah in describing his experience of the guilt in the moment and in sitting with it without judgment. How does he do this? What is Noah's response to being invited to sit with the guilt? How does David segue to and prepare Noah for a debriefing? What does David ask to get at Noah's experience of relating differently to the problem? Why is it important to check on this? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Video Analysis This excerpt is the tail end of an exchange in which Noah has been invited to be in the presence of the guilt without trying to argue with it or shut it out. David invites Noah to debrief on the experience and supports him in doing that by reminding him of some of the key descriptors Noah came up with. It's important here to evaluate with Noah his experience of doing this on the chance he finds it threatening or counter-productive. Noah seems interested, and it appears some further possibilities have opened up for David and Noah as they continue these explorations because it contributes to a “thick description” of the guilt which includes the embodied experience of it.

    David is reviewing some of the progress Christy has made over the months they have worked together. Pay attention to the questions he asks. What does he say that helps to prepare Christy to evaluate the steps she has taken? How does he link the content to support Christy in making connections between events she may not previously have seen as related? How likely is it that Christy would arrive at the various conclusions she comes to here if David merely asked “What have you learned over the past few months?”. What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Scaffolding is a very active process on the part of the counselor, but is also highly de-centred, in that it aims to ensure the client—not the counselor—does the work in evaluating the topic at hand. In this instance, the topic is a look-back on the changes Christy has made over the past months. David is aware from their many conversations of certain domains where Christy has taken initiatives that are reaping rewards for her. He is deliberate in bringing these to Christy's attention, while at the same time he is careful not to come to conclusions on her behalf.

    Lee is a 22-year old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13-years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. As Anita listens to Lee talk about the pressures of school in the context of being an immigrant to North America, she hears echoes of her own experience. How does she bring this into the conversation in a manner that gives space for Lee to confirm the “fit” for him? How does Anita pick up on Lee's response to her self-disclosure? What impact does the exchange have on their quest for mutual understanding? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? It is often tempting to share with a client “I know what you mean—I've experienced the same thing.” Due to the complexity of our identities and the multiple contexts we inhabit, this is rarely the case. Nevertheless, self-disclosure can have a “normalizing” effect on clients' perception of their concerns, and can also promote mutual understanding and enhance the therapeutic relationship. In order to avoid the perils of assuming identical experience, self-disclosure should be made tentatively, as Anita does here. Notice that while she discovers her experience differs in some ways, the exchange helps Anita and Lee come to a better understanding of what is going on for Lee.

    Maria is a 24-year-old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. In this exchange, Alex offers his interpretation of Maria's experience, stated definitively. Watch Maria's body language: how is she responding? What are the risks of sharing interpretations in this manner? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Here Alex, Alex announces what “he can tell” about what is going on for Maria and doesn't seem to invite Maria's response. However she does respond and helps to clarify. “Getting it wrong” is not always a problem; if the client feels comfortable correcting the counselor, then the outcome of the exchange can be a furthering of mutual understanding. That is what happens here, despite Alex's very forthright offering of his view at the outset. Maria clearly disagrees with his interpretation, but offers further clarification which eventually leads to a coordination of understanding.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman, living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase.” She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. Alex explores Maria's experience of “guilt” here without assuming he understands what “guilt” means to Maria. He has the notion that the guilt may apply to Maria's relationship with her partner, so throws this hunch into the conversation. How does Alex bring in his observations into the conversation (“My house”) without merely presenting Maria with his one-sided interpretation of what this is like for Maria? What is the outcome of his tentative posture? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Although Maria has not explicitly referred to guilt in relation to her partner, Alex has been holding onto the notion that she may be experiencing this. He decides to throw this into the conversation, and does so in a manner that suggests a wondering rather than a certainty. This invites Maria to explore the topic further and to give Alex a more nuanced picture of what she is experiencing. Alex contributes further to how Maria makes sense of her experience by presenting the image of striving to balance between guilt that is weighed in two directions.

    Sophie is 27 years old, married with two young children. A year ago, her husband had a routine surgery that went wrong, and he has been unable to work since that time. Sophie has had to step into the primary breadwinner role. She is feeling overwhelmed; is worried about finances, taking care of the children and her husband; and is sleeping poorly. In this exchange, Gaya does her best to offer a recap of Sophie's experience. To what degree does she invite Sophie—either verbally or nonverbally—to comment on how well the description “fits” for her? What do you notice in Sophie's verbals and nonverbals that indicates how she is receiving this paraphrase/recap? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Recapping involves remembering some key highlights of what a client has shared and handing it back, both through the client's exact words (restating) and the counselor's language (paraphrasing). A recap will never be a “perfect fit,” but when it is close enough, the client will typically signal this through nonverbals or verbals”¦provided there is a relationship in which there is permission (explicit or implicit) to do this. Here, there is not an atmosphere conducive to critical evaluation of the counselor's input, and so Sophie seems to indicate Gaya is missing the main point but is hesitant to indicate that in direct terms.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots, and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these role-plays.) In this exchange also featured in chapter 4, Relating as an Ally, David invites Meena to recount the events of the past week. Notice how he repeatedly invites her to slow the description down and fill in the detail of exchanges between herself and her mother. Which questions accomplish this? What additional details are uncovered as a result of this practice? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? The importance of “slowing things down” in counseling and therapy cannot be over-emphasized, but it is less clear how this is accomplished. It's not by talking slower—although sometimes this can also help—but rather it has to do with the amount of concrete detail evoked in describing events. We are not normally inclined to dissect our interactions with others utterance by utterance, and yet it can be astounding what there is to discover there if we do. For instance, when we “get along better” with someone it is more often than not because we are responding to them in a subtly (or not so subtly) different way. But we rarely take the time to notice precisely how we achieve this. In this case, David takes on that task by continually inviting Meena to examine what she did differently, and what the consequences were of her changed behavior. In doing so, he helps her to become more conscious of potential choices, and in effect contributes to her sense of control of a relationship that sometimes leaves her feeling upset and dismissed.

    Christy is the 26-year-old mother of a 2-year old daughter, Cristelle. She returned to her work as an employee assistance plan counselor 4 months ago after being off on a maternity leave. One month after returning to work she separated from her husband John. She has recently moved in with her parents, whom she says are caring grandparents but have many opinions about parenting that sometimes cause stress. Christy says she is not feeling much empathy for clients at work and not getting along with workmates. This is still part of David's final session with Christy. Here he is building further on an exchange featured in this chapter as taking stock of client learnings, inviting Christy to continue to name and describe that significant changes she's made, as well as reflecting on their significance. What stylized question does David use here to help Christy look at herself through the eyes of an admiring other? How does he ensure the person Christy picks will have a detailed view of the changes she's made? What does David ask to ensure the description is grounded in concrete detail? Christy highlights the decision to keep her infant daughter Cristelle at home with Christy's parents, rather than placing her in daycare. How does David expand the reflections from what Christy did to what qualities were involved in taking the steps she took? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Even better than imagining what an admiring acquaintance might say about the changes they have witnessed in a client over the course of several therapeutic conversations, is to have them come to a session and share their observations with the client present. When this is not possible, it can be useful for a client to view the changes they have made through the eyes of someone they feel has witnessed and taken note of them. For clients who feel reluctant to “blow their own horns” this can be a way to gain a more precise picture of the changes they have made than if you asked them directly. Here, Christy chooses to look at herself through Sylvia's eyes, because Sylvia has been a close and supportive friend who has witnessed many changes over the past months. David takes care here to ensure the view from Sylvia's perspective is specific and concrete, because generalizations like “be strong” are difficult to act upon. David is also careful to link Christy's answers to his earlier questions in order to help Christy make the connections.

    Noah is a 30-year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens?” In this exchange first introduced as the evolution of meaning in Chapter Two, and re-visited as Orienting to responses in Chapter Eight, a story migrates significantly over the course of a few minutes. What is the dominant, foreground meaning of the event for Noah at the outset? What conclusions about himself does he draw from the version of the event he's currently recruited into? What alternate meaning of what happened does David invite to the foreground? What questions does David ask to mine Noah's experience for other events that help to substantiate this alternate account? How does David support Noah in “seeing things differently” by looking at this and related events through the eyes of another? What conclusions about Noah are associated with this alternate view? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? We make sense of the events of our lives by imparting meaning to them. It is these meanings that constitute our lived realities. At the opening of this conversation, Noah's lived reality features him as passive in the face of a transgression, silent on the topic of racism. As David “double listens” to Noah's story, understanding his actions as expressions of values not fully articulated, as opposed to evidence of passive docility, some very different meanings emerge about the events described. In addition, the story about Noah as a person transforms in some dramatic ways. This migration of stories is what counseling and psychotherapy are all about. Because of the deep entrenchment of many dominant interpretations of our lives, it is not typical for a single instance of making new meanings to forever alter a person's experience. Noah here has a brief epiphany, but further reflection and discussion will be needed to consolidate this changed understanding. As Noah finds opportunities to act in accordance with his commitment to opposing racism (and be witnessed in doing so), this version of himself will gain further traction.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots, and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) Inhabiting multiple cultural contexts can be rich for the diversity of experience it brings, but it can also come with tensions. In this exchange, Meena describes how she straddles two sets of values/lifestyles—one more aligned with mainstream North America, and one closer to Indian traditions. How does this tension play out in her life? What effects does it have? What indications do you see here that she doesn't want to simply replace one set and reject the other? The identification with the cultural subgroup involves more than merely a feeling of “belonging”. Cultures can be characterized by the dominant beliefs, stories, discourses, and so on that predominate within them. Besides providing shared values to rally around, these also come with a certain degree of pressures to conform with cultural prescriptions. Here, Meena can be seen being pulled in both directions. There are values she admires and strives for in both traditional Indian and contemporary North American culture. As well, there are ways of being which come “recommended” with each cultural group that don't fit for her, although she feels somewhat pressured to conform to them. In this respect, much of the work that David does with Meena is to help her “locate” herself among her various cultural identities.

    Lee is a 22-year-old college student who moved to North America from rural China with his parents when he was 13 years old. He is feeling isolated and stressed by his studies. Lee is living in residence, but characterizes himself as introverted and is not engaged in the party scene there. He enrolled in engineering and is struggling with the course load. As the first member of his family to enroll in university, Lee is feeling pressure from his parents to succeed. After their first conversation, Anita summarizes the exchange with Lee and checks in with him on his experience of the session. She cannot assume this will not be their last session; how does Anita deal with the question of whether or not Lee will come back? How does she solicit his experience of their conversation? How might she have expanded this inquiry? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Summaries provide a sense of closure to a session and can organize the thoughts of clients about the week ahead when there may be tasks they would like to attend to. Summarizing is also an effective way to ”˜regain the stage' when the clock is running out so as to avoid having to cut a client off. And they can provide an introduction to checking in with the client on their experience of the session.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots, and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) This is a segment of the Relating as an ally video featured in Chapter 4. As David and Meena wind down their conversation, they look ahead to the week to come. What does David do to invite Meena to anticipate how she might continue to keep these favorable changes happening? How does he help her to anticipate possible obstacles and avoid slipping into old habits (i.e. “relapse prevention”—see Chapter 15)? How does David frame the tasks to encourage Meena to observe developments at a level of detail she might not otherwise? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? Life as usual often takes over between sessions, such that preferred developments get lost as habitual patterns of interaction resume amid daily stressors. In helping to consolidate gains between sessions, it's useful to look ahead and formulate a concrete plan for actions that will sustain the preferred developments. In doing this, it's useful to anticipate possible obstacles by way of preventing “relapse” to old ways of being. The mere practice of talking about this helps to increase the chances clients will notice these obstacles as they arrive. This can be supplemented further by making an agreement on a plan of action—informal “homework” for the week ahead. Here David depicts Meena's task as akin to that of a “researcher”, which encourages her to pay very close attention to the interactions so that she can learn more about them and report back next week.

    Noah is a 30 year old graduate student, married to Joanne with a 3-year old daughter, Samantha. His life is currently very hectic and he has been struggling with the pace of things. He has been concerned about his mood lately, saying he feels “down” much of the time. In one session, he reports distress about an incident that happened a few days ago. He was in a small town and met another young man, who, upon learning that Noah was Jewish, asked “How come you're not in the ovens"? In this exchange, the meaning of an event as understood by the two people talking about it shifts significantly over the course of a few minutes. What is Noah's original take on what happened in the event he describes? What is the meaning of what occurred as understood by David and Noah at the end of the conversation? In this brief conversation, David invites Noah to entertain an alternate understanding of an event by asking questions. Although David never “challenges” the view that Noah first introduces, his questions erode one version of events and suggest another. Notice that David solicits concrete detail in order to support the alternate view he is inviting Noah to consider. In later chapters, we will look closer at the conversational practices David is drawing on here, and the ideas informing them.

    Lynn is a 59-year old woman who decided to seek counselling to work through a longstanding concern about what she describes as a lack of courage in relation to various challenges, especially physical challenges. Lynn describes an incident snow-shoeing with friends when she reached an impasse: they wanted to proceed over a dangerous icy slope and she became overwhelmed with anxiety and needed help getting down from the mountain. She jokingly refers to a “cowardly gene” to capture the sense of anxiety that overwhelms her in these situations as an expression of her fundamental nature. At the same time she is curious to challenge this notion and wants to change the way she responds in similar situations. This excerpt follows on identifying a preferred development in this chapter. Lynn has described the problem she wants to work on and has given an example of a preferred development. At this point David seeks to “thicken” the account of this. What questions stand out for you? See if you can identify key questions used in this methodical inquiry into helpful actions, self-talk and values that serves to expand the description of this development. What did Lynn do to prepare for accomplishing this preferred development? What are some of the positive effects of Lynn's actions that are highlighted in order to consolidate this preferred development? Which aspects of the event and Lynn's experience not previously named comes to light? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? A preferred development is the thread of an alternate story. Showering these events with curiosity leads to “thickening” them—expanding the meaning of the event and linking it to other key events—self-talk used, emotions felt, actions initiated, images generated, and so on. The practice of joining clients in doing this involves slowing things down, examining their actions frame by frame, always oriented with the expectation of finding out more about values, knowledge and skills they have brought to bear on their circumstances. David is aware that his questions are unusual in that we are not accustomed to sifting through events with this degree of detail; and so he points this out and checks with Lynn to confirm she is on board with the process. This is highly de-centered practice in the sense that the counselor's role here is to draw forward an account of Lynn's initiative rather than to provide tips or guidance. The result is that Lynn discovers resources she already has in hand, and comes to understand the preferred development not as a random event but as something accomplished by her through systematic preparation.

    Maria is a 24-year old, second-generation Argentinian woman living in Canada who came out as a lesbian last year. Her parents are devout Catholics and opposed to homosexuality, and she feels they have not fully absorbed her sexual orientation—they see it as a “phase”. She feels they are very gradually adjusting, but is concerned that announcing the plan to move in with her partner Lisa would disturb the current peaceful equilibrium in their relationship. Maria is getting pressure from Lisa, but is concerned that moving in would be extremely upsetting to her parents, and she is stuck as to how to go forward. In this exchange called Acknowledging cultural differences in Chapter One, Alex is transparent about differences between him and Maria. What difference do you think it makes for Maria for Alex to put these things on the table? Would you say this sharing by Alex would lead to more or less trust in him and in their process? What aspects of the counselor's practice might you have done similarly/differently? Counselling always happens across cultural divides. Sometimes these divides have to be attended to carefully because there is the potential for significant “blind spots” by counselors. Other times, it's just the naming of the difference that reminds counselor and client that the quest for mutual understanding is always constrained. This can promote a sense of relaxation with the process and a reassurance that the counselor is doing his or her imperfect best.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) In this excerpt from the “Straddling cultures” video featured in Chapter 1, Meena is describing pressures she experiences from her mother to adopt traditional Indian values, and the impact of this pressure on her and on her relationship with her partner Jeremy. David adopts a metaphor to try and capture this dilemma; how well does it “fly?” What does David do to invite Meena to evaluate the metaphor and how does their mutual understanding of the issue evolve as a result of her response? Metaphors have a poetic quality to them which can help to capture an experience otherwise difficult to pin down with literal language. But when that experience is the client's, it is always the client who will be the best judge of how well it fits. Here, David runs with a metaphor (“the Bollywood version”) that he initially seems to feel nails Meena's dilemma. When he invites her to comment on the metaphor (“does that fit?”), however, Meena makes an adjustment, and clarifies the pressure is not to adhere to the glitz associated with Bollywood movies. It's more about some fundamental values associated with “traditional” Indian culture that she is drawn to and wants to accommodate in her life.

    Meena is a 24-year-old woman who was adopted at birth by parents of East Indian origin after they arrived in North America as immigrants. Meena's father died when Meena was in her late teens. She has been experiencing stresses at work, as well as ongoing tensions with her mother. Meena says her mother regularly urges Meena not to let go of Indian traditions, and dispenses often unsolicited advice. She also has a tendency to “dismiss” Meena at times, which leads to Meena feeling hurt and underestimated. Meena feels conflicted—while she cherishes her East Indian roots, and prefers an intimate relationship with her mother, the tensions between them often get in the way. Recently Meena had a dinner with her mother and her boyfriend Jeremy that went better than usual. (*Note that more than one graduate student plays Meena in these roleplays.) In this segment of the Slowing the image down excerpt in this chapter, a scaling question is used to gauge changes that have occurred in the past week. By assigning number values to events, we can determine if things have gotten better or worse. If worse, this at least provides a platform for speculating about what would need to change to nudge things in a more favorable direction. When things have gotten better, scaling questions provide a rich opportunity to assess progress made as well as speculating on next steps. Here, David uses a scaling question early in a session with Meena as a vehicle for exploring events in the past week. How does he ensure that Meena is clear on the purpose of the question and on the significance of the extremes (“0” and “10”) of the scale? How does he use the scale as a vehicle for exploring what she did differently? To what extent does Meena seem to initially “own” the notion that she actually contributed to the changes? Would you say this shifts as the conversation unfolds, and if so, what do you see and hear from her that tells you she has taken on greater ownership of her successes? What aspects of this practice might you have done similarly/differently? For Meena, the events of the past week don't initially stand out as all that different from events of previous ones. The scaling question helps to tease out the difference, however, and to quantify it by putting a number to it. This point of reference supplies a clear cut indicator of progress, which can be affirming and motivating, and it also provides a reference point against which to gauge future developments. Note that a scaling question alone will not necessarily help clients take ownership of the favorable developments they report. Here Meena initially concludes that she and her mom just grew “tired” of their battles—not a description that features herself as making any active choices to do things differently. Without the follow-up inquiry that begins here and continues in the excerpt in this chapter called Evoking thick description of preferred developments with a stylized question, Meena might continue to conclude that it was fate that granted she and her mother some relief from their conflict. David acknowledges the "relief” Meena feels from growing tired of the conflict, but continues to be curious as well about what she did to accomplish this relief. As this excerpt comes to a close, Meena's languaging of the events has already begun to shift—she is talking about “stepping back” from the exchanges with her mother. What was depicted as a consequence of fatigue is now emerging as the product of active and repeatable efforts to respond differently in her mother's company.

  • Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session: Brief, Strengths-Based, Collaborative Therapy

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Matthew Selekman works with Raquel and Lydia, a mother–daughter duo who have come to therapy to discuss some bumps in the road as the family is transitioning through a typical developmental stage—Lydia moving from the end of adolescence and into young adulthood, which includes attending community college and moving in with her boyfriend. Selekman works with the mother and daughter to see what successes they have already had and how they will continue to capitalize on their strengths into the future. They work on avoiding the “I'm right, you're wrong” pattern and de-escalating typical blowups in the family. Selekman works with the mother and daughter together in the first session. In subsequent sessions, he begins with both clients together for the first 20 minutes and then works individually with each person for the last part of the session. Matthew Selekman is a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Partners for Collaborative Solutions, based in Chicago. He is the author of numerous family therapy articles and seven professional books. His eighth book, Working With High-Risk Adolescents: An Individualized Family Therapy Approach, is due out in December 2015. He works with clients in his private practice from a brief, collaborative, postmodern strengths-based perspective. He believes that all clients have the strengths, resources, and self-healing capacities to change and are the experts with their own life situations. His expertise as a therapist is in tapping his clients' strengths to coconstruct solutions together. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Matthew Selekman works with Raquel and Lydia, a mother–daughter duo who have come to therapy to discuss some bumps in the road as the family is transitioning through a typical developmental stage—Lydia moving from the end of adolescence and into young adulthood, which includes attending community college and moving in with her boyfriend. Selekman works with the mother and daughter to see what successes they have already had and how they will continue to capitalize on their strengths into the future. They work on avoiding the “I'm right, you're wrong” pattern and de-escalating typical blowups in the family. Selekman works with the mother and daughter together in the first session. In subsequent sessions, he begins with both clients together for the first 20 minutes and then works individually with each person for the last part of the session. Matthew Selekman is a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Partners for Collaborative Solutions, based in Chicago. He is the author of numerous family therapy articles and seven professional books. His eighth book, Working With High-Risk Adolescents: An Individualized Family Therapy Approach, is due out in December 2015. He works with clients in his private practice from a brief, collaborative, postmodern strengths-based perspective. He believes that all clients have the strengths, resources, and self-healing capacities to change and are the experts with their own life situations. His expertise as a therapist is in tapping his clients' strengths to coconstruct solutions together. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Matthew Selekman works with Raquel and Lydia, a mother–daughter duo who have come to therapy to discuss some bumps in the road as the family is transitioning through a typical developmental stage—Lydia moving from the end of adolescence and into young adulthood, which includes attending community college and moving in with her boyfriend. Selekman works with the mother and daughter to see what successes they have already had and how they will continue to capitalize on their strengths into the future. They work on avoiding the “I'm right, you're wrong” pattern and de-escalating typical blowups in the family. Selekman works with the mother and daughter together in the first session. In subsequent sessions, he begins with both clients together for the first 20 minutes and then works individually with each person for the last part of the session. Matthew Selekman is a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Partners for Collaborative Solutions, based in Chicago. He is the author of numerous family therapy articles and seven professional books. His eighth book, Working With High-Risk Adolescents: An Individualized Family Therapy Approach, is due out in December 2015. He works with clients in his private practice from a brief, collaborative, postmodern strengths-based perspective. He believes that all clients have the strengths, resources, and self-healing capacities to change and are the experts with their own life situations. His expertise as a therapist is in tapping his clients' strengths to coconstruct solutions together. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Matthew Selekman works with Raquel and Lydia, a mother–daughter duo who have come to therapy to discuss some bumps in the road as the family is transitioning through a typical developmental stage—Lydia moving from the end of adolescence and into young adulthood, which includes attending community college and moving in with her boyfriend. Selekman works with the mother and daughter to see what successes they have already had and how they will continue to capitalize on their strengths into the future. They work on avoiding the “I'm right, you're wrong” pattern and de-escalating typical blowups in the family. Selekman works with the mother and daughter together in the first session. In subsequent sessions, he begins with both clients together for the first 20 minutes and then works individually with each person for the last part of the session. Matthew Selekman is a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Partners for Collaborative Solutions, based in Chicago. He is the author of numerous family therapy articles and seven professional books. His eighth book, Working With High-Risk Adolescents: An Individualized Family Therapy Approach, is due out in December 2015. He works with clients in his private practice from a brief, collaborative, postmodern strengths-based perspective. He believes that all clients have the strengths, resources, and self-healing capacities to change and are the experts with their own life situations. His expertise as a therapist is in tapping his clients' strengths to coconstruct solutions together. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Matthew Selekman works with Raquel and Lydia, a mother–daughter duo who have come to therapy to discuss some bumps in the road as the family is transitioning through a typical developmental stage—Lydia moving from the end of adolescence and into young adulthood, which includes attending community college and moving in with her boyfriend. Selekman works with the mother and daughter to see what successes they have already had and how they will continue to capitalize on their strengths into the future. They work on avoiding the “I'm right, you're wrong” pattern and de-escalating typical blowups in the family. Selekman works with the mother and daughter together in the first session. In subsequent sessions, he begins with both clients together for the first 20 minutes and then works individually with each person for the last part of the session. Matthew Selekman is a licensed clinical social worker and founder and director of Partners for Collaborative Solutions, based in Chicago. He is the author of numerous family therapy articles and seven professional books. His eighth book, Working With High-Risk Adolescents: An Individualized Family Therapy Approach, is due out in December 2015. He works with clients in his private practice from a brief, collaborative, postmodern strengths-based perspective. He believes that all clients have the strengths, resources, and self-healing capacities to change and are the experts with their own life situations. His expertise as a therapist is in tapping his clients' strengths to coconstruct solutions together. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

  • Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session: Choice Theory and Reality Therapy

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Patricia Robey works with Kennedy, who has come to therapy because she is struggling with depression and is in conflict with her family. Kennedy feels that she disappoints her family members and wishes to have a more loving and affectionate relationship with them. Robey works with Kennedy to develop better habits with her family members and help Kennedy create a more caring, deeper relationship with them. She encourages Kennedy to be assertive without being aggressive and to give up defenses and show vulnerability to make her relationships better. As part of the therapeutic process, Robey explains the choice theory model in the sessions to educate Kennedy on the method and reasoning behind the approach and treatment. Patricia A. Robey is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University's School of Counseling. She specializes in applying reality therapy and choice theory in her work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. She is a senior faculty member of the William Glasser Institute and has taught the concepts of choice theory and reality therapy in the United States and internationally. She is also the editor of Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling: A Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Approach. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Patricia Robey works with Kennedy, who has come to therapy because she is struggling with depression and is in conflict with her family. Kennedy feels that she disappoints her family members and wishes to have a more loving and affectionate relationship with them. Robey works with Kennedy to develop better habits with her family members and help Kennedy create a more caring, deeper relationship with them. She encourages Kennedy to be assertive without being aggressive and to give up defenses and show vulnerability to make her relationships better. As part of the therapeutic process, Robey explains the choice theory model in the sessions to educate Kennedy on the method and reasoning behind the approach and treatment. Patricia A. Robey is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University's School of Counseling. She specializes in applying reality therapy and choice theory in her work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. She is a senior faculty member of the William Glasser Institute and has taught the concepts of choice theory and reality therapy in the United States and internationally. She is also the editor of Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling: A Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Approach. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Patricia Robey works with Kennedy, who has come to therapy because she is struggling with depression and is in conflict with her family. Kennedy feels that she disappoints her family members and wishes to have a more loving and affectionate relationship with them. Robey works with Kennedy to develop better habits with her family members and help Kennedy create a more caring, deeper relationship with them. She encourages Kennedy to be assertive without being aggressive and to give up defenses and show vulnerability to make her relationships better. As part of the therapeutic process, Robey explains the choice theory model in the sessions to educate Kennedy on the method and reasoning behind the approach and treatment. Patricia A. Robey is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University's School of Counseling. She specializes in applying reality therapy and choice theory in her work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. She is a senior faculty member of the William Glasser Institute and has taught the concepts of choice theory and reality therapy in the United States and internationally. She is also the editor of Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling: A Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Approach. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Patricia Robey works with Kennedy, who has come to therapy because she is struggling with depression and is in conflict with her family. Kennedy feels that she disappoints her family members and wishes to have a more loving and affectionate relationship with them. Robey works with Kennedy to develop better habits with her family members and help Kennedy create a more caring, deeper relationship with them. She encourages Kennedy to be assertive without being aggressive and to give up defenses and show vulnerability to make her relationships better. As part of the therapeutic process, Robey explains the choice theory model in the sessions to educate Kennedy on the method and reasoning behind the approach and treatment. Patricia A. Robey is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University's School of Counseling. She specializes in applying reality therapy and choice theory in her work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. She is a senior faculty member of the William Glasser Institute and has taught the concepts of choice theory and reality therapy in the United States and internationally. She is also the editor of Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling: A Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Approach. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Patricia Robey works with Kennedy, who has come to therapy because she is struggling with depression and is in conflict with her family. Kennedy feels that she disappoints her family members and wishes to have a more loving and affectionate relationship with them. Robey works with Kennedy to develop better habits with her family members and help Kennedy create a more caring, deeper relationship with them. She encourages Kennedy to be assertive without being aggressive and to give up defenses and show vulnerability to make her relationships better. As part of the therapeutic process, Robey explains the choice theory model in the sessions to educate Kennedy on the method and reasoning behind the approach and treatment. Patricia A. Robey is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University's School of Counseling. She specializes in applying reality therapy and choice theory in her work with individuals, couples, families, and groups. She is a senior faculty member of the William Glasser Institute and has taught the concepts of choice theory and reality therapy in the United States and internationally. She is also the editor of Contemporary Issues in Couples Counseling: A Choice Theory and Reality Therapy Approach. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

  • Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session: Emotionally Focused Therapy

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Shea Dunham works with Danielle and Jay, a married couple who have come to therapy to work on trust in their marriage. Danielle recently had an affair with a former boyfriend, and the couple is at a crossroads, trying to regain trust and intimacy. Danielle has shut down emotionally, and Jay is desperate to make the marriage work. Dunham works with the couple on how to repair attachment injuries, negotiate different attachment styles, and build security and trust in the relationship. Shea Dunham, PhD, is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University. She works from an emotionally focused perspective and is an expert in family systems theory. She has published several professional articles in the area of counseling and is coeditor of Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. She is also currently working on The Emotionally Focused Guide to Revisioning African American Relationships. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Shea Dunham works with Danielle and Jay, a married couple who have come to therapy to work on trust in their marriage. Danielle recently had an affair with a former boyfriend, and the couple is at a crossroads, trying to regain trust and intimacy. Danielle has shut down emotionally, and Jay is desperate to make the marriage work. Dunham works with the couple on how to repair attachment injuries, negotiate different attachment styles, and build security and trust in the relationship. Shea Dunham, PhD, is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University. She works from an emotionally focused perspective and is an expert in family systems theory. She has published several professional articles in the area of counseling and is coeditor of Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. She is also currently working on The Emotionally Focused Guide to Revisioning African American Relationships. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Shea Dunham works with Danielle and Jay, a married couple who have come to therapy to work on trust in their marriage. Danielle recently had an affair with a former boyfriend, and the couple is at a crossroads, trying to regain trust and intimacy. Danielle has shut down emotionally, and Jay is desperate to make the marriage work. Dunham works with the couple on how to repair attachment injuries, negotiate different attachment styles, and build security and trust in the relationship. Shea Dunham, PhD, is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University. She works from an emotionally focused perspective and is an expert in family systems theory. She has published several professional articles in the area of counseling and is coeditor of Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. She is also currently working on The Emotionally Focused Guide to Revisioning African American Relationships. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Shea Dunham works with Danielle and Jay, a married couple who have come to therapy to work on trust in their marriage. Danielle recently had an affair with a former boyfriend, and the couple is at a crossroads, trying to regain trust and intimacy. Danielle has shut down emotionally, and Jay is desperate to make the marriage work. Dunham works with the couple on how to repair attachment injuries, negotiate different attachment styles, and build security and trust in the relationship. Shea Dunham, PhD, is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University. She works from an emotionally focused perspective and is an expert in family systems theory. She has published several professional articles in the area of counseling and is coeditor of Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. She is also currently working on The Emotionally Focused Guide to Revisioning African American Relationships. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

    Over the course of five counseling sessions, Shea Dunham works with Danielle and Jay, a married couple who have come to therapy to work on trust in their marriage. Danielle recently had an affair with a former boyfriend, and the couple is at a crossroads, trying to regain trust and intimacy. Danielle has shut down emotionally, and Jay is desperate to make the marriage work. Dunham works with the couple on how to repair attachment injuries, negotiate different attachment styles, and build security and trust in the relationship. Shea Dunham, PhD, is a licensed mental health counselor and associate professor at Governors State University. She works from an emotionally focused perspective and is an expert in family systems theory. She has published several professional articles in the area of counseling and is coeditor of Poisonous Parenting: Toxic Relationships Between Parents and Their Adult Children. She is also currently working on The Emotionally Focused Guide to Revisioning African American Relationships. Complete Counseling: From First to Last Session takes the viewer through five sessions with the same client. Viewers will witness how clients change from session to session, how the approach to treatment changes over time, and how various therapeutic interventions are applied in different situations.

  • Dancing with Disappointment

    This is a session about grief, loss, discovery, and reclaiming emotion. Kenneth—a young African American man in his 20s—comes to Vanessa Jackson to talk about his relationship with the mother of his children. The conversation quickly expands to include Kenneth's fractured relationship with his father and his disappointment with the way he—Kenneth—has fathered his own children. Jackson helps Kenneth understand his father's story to help Kenneth gain some compassion for his father—so he, in turn, can have more compassion for himself. In addition, Jackson helps Kenneth understand how men of color interpret masculinity and success and their struggle to show emotion. Jackson works from a power-based, multicultural, narrative approach. Her work encompasses an emancipatory counseling experience for Kenneth to help support him to live a full, powerful life. She also demonstrates her “Black girl therapy”—which is not just for Black girls—where therapists drop some of the professional distance and become real with clients and get to the heart of the matter, asking tough questions that often have to do with power, race, and gender. Vanessa Jackson is a licensed clinical social worker and Soul Doula, who operates a private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She has 30 years of experience working with adolescents and adults in community mental health centers and university counseling centers. Her work is heavily influenced by her activism in the Black women's health and psychiatric liberation movement. She characterizes her work as power-based therapy influenced by Elaine Pinderhughes's power theory and narrative therapy. She has created an inquiry process, “The Seven Healing Questions,” which guides her work with clients.

    Vanessa Jackson works with Terry, an African American woman in her 30s who was born into a working-class family and worked her way into an upper middle-class lifestyle. With this change came feelings of isolation and loneliness. Terry feels she straddles two different worlds, often negotiating between the world in which she was raised and the one she inhabits now. She feels a sense of isolation and loneliness and wishes for stronger connections. In her conversation with Terry, Jackson asks questions about money and class and how they inform Terry's relationships. Jackson works with Terry from a power-based, multicultural, narrative approach. Her work encompasses an emancipatory counseling experience for Terry to help support her to live a full, powerful life. Jackson also demonstrates her “Black girl therapy”—which is not just for Black girls—where therapists drop some of the professional distance and become real with clients and get to the heart of the matter, asking tough questions that often have to do with power, race, and gender. Vanessa Jackson is a licensed clinical social worker and Soul Doula, who operates a private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She has 30 years of experience working with adolescents and adults in community mental health centers and university counseling centers. Her work is heavily influenced by her activism in the Black women's health and psychiatric liberation movement. She characterizes her work as power-based therapy influenced by Elaine Pinderhughes's power theory and narrative therapy. She has created an inquiry process, “The Seven Healing Questions,” which guides her work with clients.

    Vanessa Jackson works with Eva—a woman in her 30s. Eva's is a story like a lot of young women who hope to “have it all” and when they somehow fall short are disappointed and frustrated. Eva has had to rebuild her career after being laid off from her job. As such, she feels as if she has lost her opportunity for marriage and family. Jackson helps Eva unpack her expectations and separate her disappointment from societal expectations. Societal expectations often do not take into consideration life circumstances, which for Eva meant being laid off and having to rebuild her career. Jackson skillfully helps Eva honor what she has accomplished and helps her negotiate her disappointment. Jackson works from a power-based, multicultural, narrative approach. Her work encompasses an emancipatory counseling experience for Eva to help support her to live a full, powerful life. Jackson also demonstrates her “Black girl therapy”—which is not just for Black girls—where therapists drop some of the professional distance and become real with clients and get to the heart of the matter, asking tough questions that often have to do with power, race, and gender. Vanessa Jackson is a licensed clinical social worker and Soul Doula, who operates a private practice in Atlanta, Georgia. She has 30 years of experience working with adolescents and adults in community mental health centers and university counseling centers. Her work is heavily influenced by her activism in the Black women's health and psychiatric liberation movement. She characterizes her work as power-based therapy influenced by Elaine Pinderhughes's power theory and narrative therapy. She has created an inquiry process, “The Seven Healing Questions,” which guides her work with clients.

  • Narrative Practice with Couples

    Tes and William have been together 5 years. William works long hours and travels for work. Tes feels ignored and seeks reassurance from William and a better sense of connection. The two argue often, and they wish to break the rut in which they find themselves. Larry Zucker works with Tes and William to help them interrupt their “blame game” by spotting the issues as they start and stopping them before they go too far. He helps them grow by encouraging them to share their fears, show their vulnerability, and listen to each other. Zucker believes that clients come to therapy full of skills and knowledge. It is his job to guide the clients through conversations and help them find their way out of the problematic way they talk to one another. Zucker works from a narrative perspective, where the effort is focused on guiding clients through their conversation with an eye on solutions to the problem. Larry Zucker is a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles, where he has been practicing family therapy and training therapists for more than 30 years. He currently teaches at the Southern California Counseling Center as well as online through ReauthoringTeaching.com.

    Tes and William have been together 5 years. William works long hours and travels for work. Tes feels ignored and seeks reassurance from William and a better sense of connection. The two argue often, and they wish to break the rut in which they find themselves. Larry Zucker works with Tes and William to help them interrupt their “blame game” by spotting the issues as they start and stopping them before they go too far. He helps them grow by encouraging them to share their fears, show their vulnerability, and listen to each other. Zucker believes that clients come to therapy full of skills and knowledge. It is his job to guide the clients through conversations and help them find their way out of the problematic way they talk to one another. Zucker works from a narrative perspective, where the effort is focused on guiding clients through their conversation with an eye on solutions to the problem. Larry Zucker is a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles, where he has been practicing family therapy and training therapists for more than 30 years. He currently teaches at the Southern California Counseling Center as well as online through ReauthoringTeaching.com.

    Brian and Kiel are a biracial gay couple in their 30s who came to see Larry Zucker because of their constant bickering. Brian travels a great deal, so any efforts to resolve the couple's issues are put on hold between business trips. The couple feels stuck and unable to resolve the variety of issues that arise on a day-to-day basis. Zucker believes that clients come to therapy full of skills and knowledge. It is his job to guide the clients through conversations and help them find their way out of the problematic way they talk to one another. Zucker works from a narrative perspective, where the effort is focused on guiding clients through their conversation with an eye on solutions to the problem. Larry Zucker is a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles, where he has been practicing family therapy and training therapists for more than 30 years. He currently teaches at the Southern California Counseling Center as well as online through ReauthoringTeaching.com.

    Brian and Kiel are a biracial gay couple in their 30s who came to see Larry Zucker because of their constant bickering. Brian travels a great deal, so any efforts to resolve the couple's issues are put on hold between business trips. The couple feels stuck and unable to resolve the variety of issues that arise on a day-to-day basis. Zucker believes that clients come to therapy full of skills and knowledge. It is his job to guide the clients through conversations and help them find their way out of the problematic way they talk to one another. Zucker works from a narrative perspective, where the effort is focused on guiding clients through their conversation with an eye on solutions to the problem. Larry Zucker is a licensed clinical social worker in Los Angeles, where he has been practicing family therapy and training therapists for more than 30 years. He currently teaches at the Southern California Counseling Center as well as online through ReauthoringTeaching.com.