Shifting our thinking to help break the cycle of bullying We all know bullying impacts the academic and emotional lives of our young people. We see it in our schools and hear about it in the news. If we know it’s a problem, why is it still happening? Often it’s because we fail to address the individuals at the heart of the problem–the kids who engage in the behavior. In Working With Kids Who Bully Walter Roberts challenges us to shift our thinking about these youth and offers innovative approaches to help kids pull back from and stop bullying. Readers will find • Information on a range of topics impacting schools today, including cyberbullying, relational aggression, mediation, building empathy, and bibliomedia therapy • Strategies and sample dialogue to use when intervening with kids who bully • Diagrams and charts to clarify suggested approaches Written by one of the nation’s foremost experts on bullying, this is a book designed to stimulate change and ultimately help create safer learning environments for all kids. “Lots of times we focus on helping the victims, but Walter Roberts addresses how to help parents of children who are bullying, as they need tips rather than ‘shaming.” Brigitte Tennis, Headmistress & Eighth Grade Teacher Stella Schola Middle School “The strengths of Working With Kids Who Bully are the vignettes posed, the reflection for analyzing the “bullying” situation, and the suggestions, almost specific guidance, for responding in a timely and “empathetic” manner.” Dana Salles Trevethan, Interim Superintendent Turlock Unified School District
Chapter 4: Relational Aggression
[Page 40]The emphasis on relational aggression is one that has gained traction since the books Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls by Rachel Simmons (2002), Rosalind Wiseman’s (2002) Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence, and the subsequent film, Mean Girls (2004), based on Wiseman’s book. It’s not that relational aggression was anything new. Simmons’s and Wiseman’s best-selling books and the movie that followed simply highlighted and stylized a phenomenon that was largely practiced among girls and women, not that relational aggression did not occur among all the sexes and genders. It is my contention, as well as my experience, study, and interviews, that relational aggression is at ...