It's OK to Be Sad: Activities to Help Children Aged 4 to 9 to Manage Loss, Grief or Bereavement
Publication Year: 2005
‘Using stories about life events, Margaret Collins focuses on the needs of 4-9 year olds, and the ways in which they can express concerns, anxieties and grief. She also provides helpful advice for children and adults about how to help others when they are experiencing such difficulties’ — SENCO Update. When a child faces a problem with health or disability we are quick to offer support or change our expectations. Sadness, distress, anxiety, whether transient or long-term, can have significant effects on every child but they are invisible and the support or adjustments might not be in place. In this great resource Margaret uses stories about 20 different life events to: illustrate the range of feelings; give permission for the expression of feelings; encourage empathy ...
- Front Matter
- Back Matter
- Chapter 1: I Lost my Toy (Dogger)
- Chapter 2: A Sleepover
- Chapter 3: A Lost Pet
- Chapter 4: Where's My Purse?
- Chapter 5: Missing You
- Chapter 6: Moving House
- Chapter 7: I Won't Forget You (Leaving Mrs Ellis)
- Chapter 8: I Don't Know Anyone Here
- Chapter 9: Letting Go
- Chapter 10: I'll Love You Every Day (I'll Always Love You)
- Chapter 11: We are Missing You
- Chapter 12: Come Home Soon
- Chapter 13: What's the Matter, Kris?
- Chapter 14: Different Kinds of Families
- Chapter 15: Claire's Family
- Chapter 16: Life has to Go on (Always and Forever)
- Chapter 17: A Memory Box
- Chapter 18: A New Life
- Chapter 19: When Grandpa Died (Grandpa's Slide Show)
- Chapter 20: A Terrible Accident
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Commissioning Editor: Barbara Maines
Editorial Team: Mel Maines, Sarah Lynch, Wendy Ogden
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© Margaret Collins 2005
Reprinted 2007, 2010
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior, written permission of the publisher.
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Printed and bound in Great Britain by CPI Antony Rowe, Chippenham, Wiltshire Printed on paper from sustainable resources
Lucky Duck[Page v]
Lucky Duck is more than a publishing house and training agency. George Robinson and Barbara Maines founded the company in the 1980s when they worked together as a head and as a psychologist, developing innovative strategies to support challenging students.
They have an international reputation for their work on bullying, self-esteem, emotional literacy and many other subjects of interest to the world of education.
George and Barbara have set up a regular news-spot on the website at http://www.luckyduck.co.uk/newsAndEvents/viewNewsItems
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Visit the website for all our latest publications in our specialist topics:
- Emotional Literacy
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A note on the use of gender[Page vii]
Rather than repeat throughout the book the modern but cumbersome ‘s/he’, we have decided to use both genders equally throughout the range of activities. In no way are we suggesting a stereotype for either gender in any activity. We believe that you can adapt if the example you are given does not correspond to the gender of the child in front of you!
A note on the use of the words ‘family’ and ‘parents’
Many children do not live in conventional two parent families. Some are looked after by the local authority and might have confusing and painful experiences. We often use the term ‘carer’ to identify the adults who look after such a child or young person. Sometimes ‘people you live with’ might be more appropriate than ‘family’. These phrases can make the text rather repetitive. Please use the words most suitable for the young people you work with.
Picture Storybooks[Page 87]
All these stories have a great deal to offer children as good stories in themselves and you can use them as a way in for discussion about loss, grief and bereavement. Those marked with ∗ have been used as the story for an activity.
Alborough, J. (1994) Where's My Teddy? Walker
Eddy has lost his Teddy, Freddy, so off he goes into the dark and horrible wood to find him. At the same time a gigantic bear has lost his Teddy …
Baum, L. (1986) Are We Nearly There? Bodley Head
Simon and his dad are on their way home after a day out together. Dad leaves Simon with Mum and Simon waves Dad goodbye.
Burningham, J. (1988) Granpa. Picture Puffin
When Granpa dies a little girl is left with wonderful memories of a very special friendship.
Dupasquier, P. (2002) Dear Daddy. Anderson Press
Sophie writes to her father who is away at sea. What she says in her letters is illustrated and above these pictures are others showing what Daddy is doing. Eventually Daddy comes home and on the last page they are reunited.
∗ Durant, A. (2003) Always and Forever. Doubleday
When Fox dies, his friends think they will never get over their sadness, but when Squirrel calls, she reminds them of all the funny things Fox did and they realise that Fox is still in their hearts and memories and will be with them forever.
Fox, M. (1984) Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge. Picture Puffins
Miss Nancy has lost her memory and Wilfred Gordon McDonald Partridge tries to help her find it. A book about memories.
∗ Gould, G. (1987) Grandpa's Slide Show. Puffin
Grandpa always showed a slide show whenever Douglas visited. Then Grandpa died and things were different and Douglas and his family felt very sad. The next time they visited Grandma they had the slide show again and shared memories of Grandpa.[Page 88]
Hathorn, L. (1995) Grandma's Shoes. Viking
A book about a family healing from the death of a loved one. Recovering from such grief can take a long time.
Hoffman, M. & Binch, C. (1995) Grace and Family. Frances Lincoln
Grace lives with Ma, Nana and a cat called Paw-Paw. Then Papa asks her to visit him in the Gambia and she meets a whole new family.
∗ Hughes, S. (1977) Dogger. Picture Lions
When Dave loses his best toy, the only one he takes to bed with him, he searches everywhere, only to find it the next day on a stall at the school fair. Before he can buy it, someone else does, and how he gets it back shows how much his sister loves him.
Limb, S. & Munoz, C. (1995) Come Back Grandma. Red Fox
Bessie is very upset at the death of her beloved Grandma. It takes a long time; until she is grown up and has a daughter just like Grandma.
McAfee, A. (1984) Visitors Who Came to Stay, Hamish Hamilton
How it feels when a parent meets someone new to love and wants to make one whole new family from two separate ones.
∗ Robinson, C. & Broadley, S. (1994) Leaving Mrs Ellis. Bodley Head
A story about Leo who will be moving on to a new class and the loss he feels in leaving behind a loving teacher.
Selway, M. (1993) Don't Forget to Write. Red Fox
Rosie is going to stay with Grandad and Aunty Mabel and doesn't want to go. She writes letters to her family which start off with her wanting to come home immediately and end up with her wanting to stay a little longer.
Simonds, P. (1989) Fred. Penguin
Lazy old Fred was just an ordinary cat, until he died and had the funeral of the century. A light hearted story of the death and funeral of Fred, the superstar cat.
Varley, S. (1992) Badger's Parting Gifts. Julia McRae
When Badger dies, all his animal friends find it hard not to be sad, until they all realise they have a special memory of Badger. He had given each of them a parting gift that will help them to remember him for ever.[Page 89]
Waddell, M. (1990) Grandma's Bill. Simon & Schuster
Bill didn't know he had a Grandpa until he saw a photo when he visited Grandma. Grandma explained that he too had been called Bill and brought out the photo album and shared all her memories with young Bill. Bill and Grandma look together at the pictures of the past and the present, sharing the reassuring sense of continuity.
Waddell, M. (1991) Once There Were Giants. Walker
A lovely story about the circle of life – baby growing up, moving on, leaving home and a new baby.
Weninger, B. & Marks, A. (1995) Goodbye Daddy! North-South
A story about separation and divorce. Tommy is upset because Daddy lives in another house now and has to go to his home after a day out. Teddy tells him a story which helps …
∗ Wilhelm, H. (1985) I'll Always Love You. Hodder & Stoughton
A story of the close relationship between a boy and his dog and how he comes to terms with its death. Effie the dog grew quickly, grew old, became ill and died. The boy's grief is tempered with the knowledge that he had repeatedly told his dog, ‘I'll always love you.’[Page 90]
Resources[Page 91]2004) Just the Same on the Inside. London: Paul Chapman Books., & (2001) Circle Time for the Very Young. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd.(2001) Because We're Worth It. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd.(2002) Circling Round Citizenship. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd.(2002) Because I'm Special. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd.(2003) Enhancing Circle Time for the Very Young. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd. http://dx.doi.org/10.4135/9781446212844(2004) Circling Safely. Bristol: Lucky Duck Publishing Ltd.(DfEE (2001) Promoting Children's Mental Health within Early Years and School Settings.2004) But is it Bullying?London: Paul Chapman Publishing.(