'Relate counsellors interested in extending their learning about cognitive therapy will find this manual a comprehensive guide'- Jan Hobbs, Relate News 'An easy-to-read, comprehensive text which provides a practical guide to skills for starting, maintaining and cultivating successful relationships, whether of opposite sexes or the same sex' - The Australian Journal of Counselling Psychology Creating Happy Relationships is written in a comfortable non-academic style, using simple everyday English, and incorporates recent research and theory. In addition to many vignettes of partners creating and cultivating happiness there are plenty of practical activities for improving partner skills. This book is a major resource for prospective partners, couples, for marriage preparation and counselling courses, and human communication and relationship education courses in schools, colleges and universities.
Chapter 9: Creating Expectations
The triumph of hope over experience.
Samuel Johnson, referring to a man who remarried immediately after the death of a wife with whom he had been very unhappy.
You can empower yourself if you learn to create realistic expectations both inside and outside of your relationships. Imagine two married couples, the Joneses and the Smiths. The Joneses are happily married and each thinks ‘We made the right decision to get married’. The Smiths are on the brink of a messy divorce and each thinks ‘Why on earth did I let myself in for this disaster?’ Both were confident when they got married that it would be ‘till death us do part’. However, the expectations of the Joneses turned out to be far more accurate ...