'Relate counsellors interested in extending their learning about cognitive therapy will find this manual a comprehensive guide'- Jan Hobbs, Relate News 'An easy-to-read, comprehensive text which provides a practical guide to skills for starting, maintaining and cultivating successful relationships, whether of opposite sexes or the same sex' - The Australian Journal of Counselling Psychology Creating Happy Relationships is written in a comfortable non-academic style, using simple everyday English, and incorporates recent research and theory. In addition to many vignettes of partners creating and cultivating happiness there are plenty of practical activities for improving partner skills. This book is a major resource for prospective partners, couples, for marriage preparation and counselling courses, and human communication and relationship education courses in schools, colleges and universities.

Creating Explanations

Creating explanations

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

Chinese Proverb

Partners who have good skills of explaining cause accurately possess one of the main keys to creating happiness and avoiding pain when living together. As Beck observes, ‘It is crucial that people recognize that they do have choices – that they are not simply the victims of a bad relationship, no matter how hopeless it may seem’ (Beck, 1988, p. 10). When explaining cause, be very careful about unnecessarily seeing yourself as the victim of your partner's persecution. In choosing to allow the starting point for your explanations of cause to be your partner, you weaken yourself in two ...

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