'Relate counsellors interested in extending their learning about cognitive therapy will find this manual a comprehensive guide'- Jan Hobbs, Relate News 'An easy-to-read, comprehensive text which provides a practical guide to skills for starting, maintaining and cultivating successful relationships, whether of opposite sexes or the same sex' - The Australian Journal of Counselling Psychology Creating Happy Relationships is written in a comfortable non-academic style, using simple everyday English, and incorporates recent research and theory. In addition to many vignettes of partners creating and cultivating happiness there are plenty of practical activities for improving partner skills. This book is a major resource for prospective partners, couples, for marriage preparation and counselling courses, and human communication and relationship education courses in schools, colleges and universities.
Chapter 7: Creating Perceptions
If only we could pull out our brains and use only our eyes.
Think of yourself as a computer processing information. All the time you are bombarded with internal and external stimuli, even when you are asleep and dream. However, unlike when you sleep, during your waking hours you can choose how you perceive and assign meaning to these stimuli. If you see the stimuli reasonably accurately on your computer screen, you have a better information base for relating to your partner successfully. However, if you distort, deny or misinterpret significant information, you increase your chances of creating and maintaining communication problems.
Partners' perceptions permeate all couple relationships: for instance, your perceptions of yourself and of one another. In addition, each of you ...