Also with Melanie K. Barnes, Sheryl Perlmutter Bowen, Heather R. Carlson, Marilyn Coleman, Lawrence H. Ganong, Jeffrey Haig, John H. Harvey, Renee F. Lyons, Darlene Meade, Paula Michal-Johnson, Suzanne M. Retzinger, James T. West, Jacqueline P. Wiseman, Katherine D. Wright & Paul H. Wright “Highly recommended.” –Mark Waldman in Contemporary Psychology “Each chapter of Confronting Relationship Challenges has something new to say. … The chapters offer rich opportunities for researchers to expand their investigations and their conceptualizations. … This book will challenge the reader to enhanced understanding and increased commitment to appropriate intervening when others (and ourselves) are overwhelmed by the ‘dark side’ of relationships.” –Judith L. Fischer in Journal of Marriage and the Family Addressing the difficult side of relationships, Confronting Relationship Challenges moves forward in the Understanding Relationship Processes Series by taking an honest look at what can go wrong with relationships and highlighting some of the challenges partners might face while struggling to comprehend their connectedness to one another. Edited by Steve Duck and Julia Wood, discussion in this volume moves away from any implication that relationships are only good and delightful. Even in the very closest of relationships, pain and suffering are inevitable and the contributing scholars examine the management and tolerance skills required of participants in order to construct meaningful interpretations of themselves, each other, and the relationship as all components evolve and interact in continually changing contexts. Relationship challenges examined in this book include conflict, enemies, the reconfiguring “family” after a divorce, codependency, interpersonal violence, HIV/AIDS, chronic illness, and managing grief over a partner's death. Students and scholars in interpersonal communication, social psychology, clinical/counseling psychology, family studies, psychology and sociology will find this volume to be a valuable resource.

Chapter 9: Held Captive by Their Memories: Managing Grief in Relationships

Held Captive by Their Memories: Managing Grief in Relationships

Held captive by their memories: Managing grief in relationships
JohnH.HarveyMelanieK.BarnesHeatherR.CarlsonJeffreyHaig

I can't forget him. His memory will always haunt me.

21-year-old woman

They are never gone unless you forget them.

74-year-old widow

The above lines are but a few of the many words that have been written and spoken to express the anguish of loss and the feeling that is experienced by a grieving person who cannot readily escape the image of a departed lover and what might have been. On some occasion, most of us will experience the powerful captivity of memory and unintended thought associated with major losses in our lives. These memories, composed of images, sounds, and other sensory experiences, represent the psychological and emotional continuity that spans ...

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