Also with Melanie K. Barnes, Sheryl Perlmutter Bowen, Heather R. Carlson, Marilyn Coleman, Lawrence H. Ganong, Jeffrey Haig, John H. Harvey, Renee F. Lyons, Darlene Meade, Paula Michal-Johnson, Suzanne M. Retzinger, James T. West, Jacqueline P. Wiseman, Katherine D. Wright & Paul H. Wright “Highly recommended.” –Mark Waldman in Contemporary Psychology “Each chapter of Confronting Relationship Challenges has something new to say. … The chapters offer rich opportunities for researchers to expand their investigations and their conceptualizations. … This book will challenge the reader to enhanced understanding and increased commitment to appropriate intervening when others (and ourselves) are overwhelmed by the ‘dark side’ of relationships.” –Judith L. Fischer in Journal of Marriage and the Family Addressing the difficult side of relationships, Confronting Relationship Challenges moves forward in the Understanding Relationship Processes Series by taking an honest look at what can go wrong with relationships and highlighting some of the challenges partners might face while struggling to comprehend their connectedness to one another. Edited by Steve Duck and Julia Wood, discussion in this volume moves away from any implication that relationships are only good and delightful. Even in the very closest of relationships, pain and suffering are inevitable and the contributing scholars examine the management and tolerance skills required of participants in order to construct meaningful interpretations of themselves, each other, and the relationship as all components evolve and interact in continually changing contexts. Relationship challenges examined in this book include conflict, enemies, the reconfiguring “family” after a divorce, codependency, interpersonal violence, HIV/AIDS, chronic illness, and managing grief over a partner's death. Students and scholars in interpersonal communication, social psychology, clinical/counseling psychology, family studies, psychology and sociology will find this volume to be a valuable resource.
Chapter 6: Understanding How the Dynamics of Ideology Influence Violence Between Intimates
Understanding How the Dynamics of Ideology Influence Violence Between Intimates
Jenni told me this story of how, after being beaten by her husband, she turned to her church and family for help, but everyone encouraged her to act out the role of the long-suffering wife. She described how her priest instructed her to return to her husband:
And I said, “I can't. What am I supposed to do if he's cheating on me and hits me?” He [the priest] said, “You should forgive him.” And I said, “What if he continues to do it?” Then he said, “You should pray that he'll stop” [sarcastic laughter]. I said, “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I've waited for a long time ...