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JUDY BRUNNER: Welcome to the second editionof School House Bullies, Preventive Strategiesfor Professional Educators.I'm Judy Brunner.
DENNIS LEWIS: I'm Dennis Lewis.
JUDY BRUNNER: And it's our pleasureto share ideas and resources designedto help you reduce the number of incidents of bullyingand harassment that can occur within a school community.While bullying is a problem that has been around for many years,the possibilities for inflicting this type of painful behaviorhas expanded exponentially with the advent
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: of electronic devices and social media.
DENNIS LEWIS: The training resource you are viewinghas a value for everyone within a school setting,primarily because we all have a role in the reductionof these undesirable behaviors.[PART ONE WHAT STAFF NEED TO KNOW]All adults in a school setting-- administrators, counselors,teachers, social workers, bus drivers, food serviceemployees, secretaries, and custodians
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: must take responsibility and knowwhat to do when harassment and bullyingbehaviors are observed.
JUDY BRUNNER: While this training program may notanswer every question you have on the topic,it does offer a number of specific suggestionsyou will find easy to implement, yet theywill have little or no associated financial cost.
DENNIS LEWIS: As you might expect,we have a number of instructional objectives.[Instructional Objective #1]First, we want to help you utilizetechniques and strategies that reducethe number of bullying incidents at school and within a schoolcommunity.While we are sure many of you alreadyknow a great deal on this topic, wewill provide you with some strategiesthat you may not have previously considered.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: No student should be afraid of coming to school,and the suggestions within this resourcewill support an academic environment that issafe and secure for everyone.[Instructional Objective #2]Next, we want to help you understand school personnel'sresponsibility related to cyber bullying and social media.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Harassment and bullying in these arenasare changing and evolving at a rapid pace,and educators struggle to remain currenton this topic for a number of reasons.[Instructional Objective #3]We want you to know how to facilitatea school environment that supports social responsibility.Interactions-- student-to-student,staff-to-student, and student-to-staff--
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: should be based upon mutual respect and civility.When a school climate is overwhelmedby hostility and negative interactions,there is little chance for the educational environment withinto thrive.[Instructional Objective #4]Finally, we want to share informationrelated to personal and professional liability.Your risk of being litigated on this topic
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: should never be underestimated.This staff development tool is dividedinto sections based upon topic.This section is introductory in natureand explains the importance of workingwith all members of the school communityon reducing bullying behaviors.The difference between normal conflict and bullying
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: is discussed, along with the definition of the behaviorand an explanation of why some kids electto engage in bullying, while othersare less inclined to do so.Another component of this training programwill address information that staffneeds to know in order to be betterobservers for the behavior.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Included are specific strategies staffcan use to not only reduce the behaviors,but to intervene effectively and appropriately.Finally, specific strategies are provided to staffto reduce the risk of litigation,both of the organization and the individual staff member.Students need to know how to cope with and respond
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: appropriately whether they are a victim or a bystander.Included is information describing the characteristicsunique to victims, bystanders, and the bully,that staff can use as they design intervention strategies.School staff should be able to provide suggestionsto parents whose children may be a victim, a bystander
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to the act, or the perpetrator of the behavior.It is always helpful when parentsare part of the solution.I'm sure we can all agree that no discussion of bullyingand intimidation would be complete without the inclusionof a section on social media.In this part of the training programstrategies and suggestions for working with parents, students,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: and staff will be provided.So where do you begin?[So Where Do You Begin?]First, an assessment tool such as a surveyhelps to identify the extent of the problem.It's helpful if the survey includesinformation solicited from staff, parents, and students.As educators you will want to be able to assess the nature, as
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: well as the depth and the breadth, of the bullyingwithin your school community.As part of the facilitator's guide,sample surveys are provided.There should also be the opportunityfor ongoing professional development.And notice that I said ongoing.To be truly effective, it cannot be a one-time session.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: In fact, the best type of learning on this topicis what occurs as part of the continuingconversation in classrooms, hallways, cafeterias,and faculty meetings.Each constituent needs to understandwhat constitutes bullying.They also need to know how to supportthe victim, the bystanders, the bullies, and the parents.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: That being said, all stakeholdersdo need to understand that not all bullying can be stopped.It is an unrealistic expectation to believe it can allbe seen and all be addressed.
DENNIS LEWIS: Parents, staff, and studentsmust recognize all kids will likely be either a victimor a bystander at some time during their educationalcareers.And while a school's primary purpose is education,academic achievement can be negatively affectedwhen students feel harassed or bullied.All of this makes a good case for students
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to be part of the solution.It will be critical when targeting bullying behaviorthat you include the parents.This important group needs to be provided specific ideasand strategies for addressing the problemfrom their perspective, including cooperatively workingwith school officials.Without the inclusion of parents school personnel
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: will be seriously limited to the extent to which bullyingcan be addressed.
JUDY BRUNNER: A dilemma confrontingschool personnel is settling on a definition for bullying.This sounds like a relatively simple problem to solve,but let's consider the many definitionsa school must recognize.First, there is state law.As you might expect, these various laws may be similar,but each state wants to put its own brand on the legislation.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: So definitions from state to state will read differently.Next, there's school board policy.There's not a requirement for uniformity among districts,so it's not unusual for definitionsto differ from one educational unit to another.
DENNIS LEWIS: Then there are definitionsused by organizations that measure the behavior,such as the Center for Disease Control, the CDC.For the purposes of this training program,we will use their definition, whichstates, "Bullying is any unwanted aggressive behaviorby another youth or group of youthswho are not siblings or current dating partners that involves
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: an observed or perceived power imbalanceand is repeated multiple times or ishighly likely to be repeated.Bullying may inflict harm or distresson the targeted youth including physical, psychological,social, or education harm."When some students feel picked on or threatened,they may carry a weapon to school.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: For the victim of bullying, the weaponis likely to be for protection as well as to offsetthe imbalance of power.Victims may lash out in response to being bullied.Or they may knowingly provoke the bullyuntil a fight results.Sooner or later, some victims, especially thoseinvolved in fights, receive injuries
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: from the escalating nature of the confrontation.There's just no question that, for a variety of reasons,responsible adults must address bullying at schooland within the community.
JUDY BRUNNER: One common obstacle expressed by educatorsis that parents and students confuse bullying behaviorswith normal peer conflict.There is a difference.And educators may not be able to helpthe community differentiate between the twowhen some confusion exists within the school.So what is the difference between bullying and normal
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: peer conflict?First, in a situation involving normal peer conflict,there will be equal power among the participants.Depending upon the circumstances,the balance of power may shift from time to time.Or both parties may simply have equal status based uponsimilar physical, social, or emotional strength.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: An example might be two female studentstrying to establish a dating relationship with the same boy.The girls may engage in such behavioras not speaking to each other, avoidance,or even physical confrontation.But, in this situation, equal power is present.Secondly, normal peer conflict happens rather infrequently.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: In other words, most kids get alongwith each other most of the time.Thirdly, normal peer conflict resultsin participants feeling remorseful after the incidentis over, as opposed to bullies who show no remorseor often try to justify their behavior.Next, normal peer conflict includes participants
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: that are usually willing to help solve the problem thus lendingthemselves to resolution through conflict management or peermediation programs.Contrast this to bullying, where the perpetrators believethey've not committed a wrong.And, in fact, they often believe the victim deserves the abuse.Finally, it's important to remember that peer mediation
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: or conflict resolution programs should notbe used to alleviate a true bullying relationship.When placed together, the bully remains empowered, evenwith an adult in the room.And the victim will still feel intimidated, evenif it is only psychologically.Now, don't misunderstand.We are not saying peer mediation is not
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: a valuable tool, because it is.What we are saying, however, is that it is usuallycounterproductive when working with studentsto resolve a situation that encompasses bullying.
DENNIS LEWIS: Staff should be trained to recognizethe act of bullying.It can take many forms and be manifestedin a variety of ways, both directly and indirectly.As a prelude to any discussion concerning bullying,you will want to have a thorough knowledgeof the motivating factors that prompt an individualto engage in the behavior, as well as what keeps others
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: from participating.As with any problem requiring a solution,why something does not happen is as important to the discussion.Why do some students bully, while otherschoose not to do so?Bullies engage in the behavior for a variety of reasons.For some, it's related to a macho or masculine image.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Many actually believe their friendsadmire them for the behavior.For some, there's a feeling of pleasurerelated to control as they observeothers respond to their power.Some students engage in bullying because they become boredwith the more routine tasks associatedwith learning at school.As they look for other ways to entertain themselves,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: the amusement is at the expense of those around them.That's why it's so important for teachersto teach "bell to bell."When students are engaged academically,they are far less likely to look for sources of entertainment,especially when the source of amusementis at the expense of a classmate.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Then, there's the belief by the bullythat other people, such as parents, peers, and friends,actually want them to exert authority over othersby using intimidating behavior.It is in this area of motivation that school staff involvedin athletic programs need to be especially watchful.While not always recognized as such,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: some bullying behaviors may have approvalwithin the formalized athletic programs,when participants are actually encouraged to exhibitintimidating behaviors.This is not necessarily wrong on a football field.But for some adolescents, it may notbe easy to turn the behavior on and thenback off again when not participatingin an athletic event.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Coaches and other staff should closelymonitor student athletes to make sure this type of behavioris not misdirected.
DENNIS LEWIS: We have been discussingwhy some students choose to participatein bullying behaviors.So why do others elect not to do so?Many students achieve success from participating in sociallyacceptable activities.They do not feel the need to hurt othersphysically or emotionally.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Individuals of all ages that are self-assured and comfortablewith their role and position in lifegenerally do not feel the need to dominate others.For other students, they simply comprehend at a very basiclevel that bullying is wrong.These young people accept the rules of society and school
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: and can recognize and understand when a negative consequence isjustified.And this is usually the result of positive home and schoolenvironments that provide appropriate role-modelingof behavior as related to both success and failure.These kids just don't feel the needto undermine others in order to have personal satisfaction.
JUDY BRUNNER: Unfortunately, studentsdo fall prey to bullies.And you should remember the negative behavior oftenhas a lasting effect on everyone involved, in additionto having a negative impact on academic achievement.Granted, there is more than one wayto reduce bullying at school.However, the solution does dependto a large degree on the education of staff, students,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and parents.As you view the various segments of this training module,remember the best bullying prevention strategyis ongoing and rich discussion between students, staff,and parents.It really is about people and relationshipsand not so much about programs.[MUSIC PLAYING]
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: [PART TWO THE DYNAMICS OF BULLY/VICTIM RELATIONSHIPS][MUSIC PLAYING]
JUDY BRUNNER: Welcome back.In this part of the program, we will discuss frustrations,definitions, bully-victim relationships,the use of sarcasm, and legal vulnerability.There are a number of topics thatneed to be part of a staff's annual professionaldevelopment, but the prevention of bullying behaviorsshould always be included.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: And it's not just a one-time discussion.Revisiting this topic should be a recurring conversationamong school staff throughout the academic year.It is of the utmost importance that all staffbe thoroughly trained on both recognizing bullying behaviorsas well as having the tools to appropriately respondwhen it's observed.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Not only does bullying and victimizationimpact school climate, learning, and discipline,it has the potential to lead to litigation where the schoolor staff is accused of deliberate indifferenceor failure to supervise.With that being said, what does a school staff need to know?
DENNIS LEWIS: Let's begin with the recognitionof how frustrating these incidents and complaints areto educators.First, there are few financial resourcesavailable for professional development.So it's understandable when teachers and administratorsare reluctant to give time to any topic not directly relatedto assessment and instruction.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: And you also have to remember that this topic is laborintensive, and in other words, youcan't just discuss it one time and consider it done.It's also frustrating because the behavior is sometimesdifficult to observe.The older the students, the better the bulliesare at being sneaky and the more reluctantthe victim is in terms of reporting what happened.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: That's why it's easy to be lulled into a sense of securityby looking at disciplinary statisticsand seeing very little data indicatingbullying is occurring.While elementary students may be more transparent or obviouswith the behaviors, secondary studentsare better at masking the problem.So educators should remember the datais most likely not a true reflection
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: of the extent of the problem.Educators are also frustrated by not only the disruption thesebehaviours cause, but also with the impact bullying can haveon academic achievement.Think about it.If a student is fearful while in class, in the cafeteria,restrooms, or hallways, he or shewon't be able to give the kind of concerted effort needed
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: in terms of academic concentration.With the current emphasis on standardized testingand accountability in all educational arenas,anything that causes a negative impactwill be a source of concern.While there has been a lot of focuson defining the behavior, what has been lackingis an explanation of how to apply the definition when
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: supervising the classroom, hallways, playground,and other parts of the campus.Though definitions vary based on state statutes,most generally agree there must be an intentto hurt on the part of the bully, an imbalance of powerbetween the victim and bully, and the behavior inflictedhas some degree of repetition.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Since intent is a key ingredient to true bullying,staff must be the ones to determine if it is present.In fact, the child should never beallowed to make that decision.Without the intent to hurt, the interactionbetween the involved students maybe nothing more than conflict.Children that engage in bullying will oftendownplay what the adult has observed by saying,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: it was an accident, I didn't mean to,or we were just fooling around.While this may, in fact, be the case,the adult must determine the intent.This can only be accomplished by deeper inquiry into what wassaid and done by the perpetrator,both past and present , and the actions and demeanor
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: of the victim.
JUDY BRUNNER: In a true bully-victim relationship,there will be an imbalance of power.While power can be the result of social status, money,physical attributes, level of intelligence-- justto name a few-- the question often arises, to what levelmust the imbalance be present.It's the answer to this question thatcan make bullying difficult to distinguish from conflict.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: When the imbalance of power is totally one- sided,and all other elements are present,it's easier to recognize the behavior for what it is.When the balance of power is close to or fairly evenlydistributed between the players, the interactionbetween students is most likely normal peer conflict.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Keep in mind, however, seldom is the distribution totallyone-sided or evenly split.Those are the easy situations to assess.In many bully-victim relationships,the imbalance, though heavily weighted in favor of the bully,will not be absolute.And some behaviors of the victim may give a false impression
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: of what is actually occurring.This can be illustrated when a victim hashad enough and retaliates.The adult does not see the bully's initial act,but instead sees the reaction of the victim.Staff should be reminded to analyzethe totality of the circumstancesand, as previously indicated, make a deeper inquiry.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Finally, staff should be remindedthey may be privy to only a snippet of the event and notthe entire act.Combined with the fact that bullies typicallydon't commit the act in front of an adult,it is highly unlikely that staff will have a complete pictureas to the extent of the problem.
DENNIS LEWIS: It is the repetitious natureof the behavior that establishes a relationshipbetween the bully and the victim.First time interactions may be inappropriate, wrong,or even criminal in nature.But it is the repeated interactionsthat cement the relationship.In order to determine the extent,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: staff will again have to dig deeper and beyond the snippetof what they saw or heard.As we referenced earlier, there isbehavior that is clearly conflict and then that whichis without doubt bullying.[Is it Conflict or Bullying?]More times than not, the adult may notbe initially sure of what is taking place, and, in fact,may be inclined to believe these are two kids not getting along.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: In those instances, staff should becautioned against bringing the two parties togetherin an attempt to mediate the appearance of conflictor even to question both jointly as to what has occurred.
DENNIS LEWIS: If underneath the surfacethis is a bully-victim relationship,answers to questions will likely steerthe adult in the opposite and wrong direction.Victims will assure the adult everything is OK.And, for the bully, they will most likelyecho those sentiments.You might ask why.
JUDY BRUNNER: The answer is embeddedwithin the dynamics of the bully-victim relationship.Once established, the bully doesn't have to do anythingbut be present for the victim to believe heor she is being targeted.Victims will assume something is about to occur,acts are being plotted, or others are secretlyridiculing them.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: In a mediation setting or fact-finding interviewwhere the victim and bully are both present,the victim may feel it is happening again.He will tell the adult whatever itwill take in order to get the meetingto conclude very quickly.As for the bully, he will get pleasure outof the discomfort the victim is experiencing.
DENNIS LEWIS: All staff should be cautionedthat when working with the victim,efforts to help him avoid the bullyshould be carefully planned and nothave the unintended consequences of penalizingthe wrong individual.Strategies such as adjusting seat assignments, lockerlocation, lunch schedules, and even playground activities
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: should only be utilized where the bully hasto bear a substantial portion, if not all of the change.Acting otherwise may reinforce a victim's beliefthat staff is not addressing the behavior of the bully.This perception can also be a causeof concern for the parents of the victim,and may further a desire to pursue litigation.
JUDY BRUNNER: Another area where the appearance of behaviorby staff may give an unintended and false impression,is the use of sarcasm.In many social circles, there's a tendencyto use this type of banter as an acceptable way of interactingwith others, especially in awkward or embarrassingmoments.However, when used with children,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: there's a substantial risk it willbe misinterpreted regardless of what the adult intended.There is a recognizable and automatic imbalanceof power present between staff and students,and the child may very well view sarcasm as demeaning.When embarrassed, it is fairly typical for some individuals
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: to laugh as a way of hiding their feelings.So when the adult uses sarcasm directed to a student,the student may laugh; but just remember,the laughter may be a cover for what the young person is reallyfeeling.
DENNIS LEWIS: Now let's talk about litigation.School staff should not spend their careerworrying about whether they may be sued,but it does happen occasionally.And staff should know how to protect themselves and learnfrom that possibility.The following are nine strategiesfor reducing the risk of being litigated,both as an individual staff member,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: as well as the organization as a whole.Now let's take a few minutes and talkabout how to avoid being litigated on this topic,both as an organization as well as an individual.Hopefully you'll ever find yourselfin the setting in which Judy and I stand.We believe the following strategies will assist youin reducing that risk.
JUDY BRUNNER: Stay educated on the topic.As staff development time on this topicis limited for most schools, staffshould take every opportunity to stay self-educated on the topicthrough the reading of journals and other resource material.Administrators, as time allows, youshould continually update and refresh staff
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: with the most current information available.
DENNIS LEWIS: Know policy, procedures, and the law.All staff should be thoroughly knowledgeable of board policyand any accompanying procedures, especiallythose explaining reporting requirements.When an incident is litigated, the staff's levelof knowledge and their corresponding actionswill be scrutinized.
JUDY BRUNNER: Educate students and parents.While formal bullying prevention programshave value, what is most importantis the continuous effort to engage students and parentson this topic.And, remember, document what you do.
DENNIS LEWIS: Investigate all complaints regardlesswhether you have a state law requiring a writteninvestigative process.One should be in place and it shouldbe published so that parents and students understandwhat the school will do and how it will be accomplished.All complaints should be investigated as reported,and then let the facts determine how it is ultimately labelled.
JUDY BRUNNER: Use surveys.Any bullying prevention initiativesshould begin with surveying of parents, staff, and students.Information elicited from studentswill help provide guidance as supervision plans are designed.
DENNIS LEWIS: Communicate with parents.Staff should take every opportunityto not only educate parents on the topic,but also provide them with school and community resources.This could be accomplished through newsletters, parentmeetings, and the posting of informationon school and district websites.
JUDY BRUNNER: Use written supervision plans.Supervision is one of the best strategies for the reductionof bullying behaviors.Administrators should identify those areas most proneto victimization, both from survey and from disciplinedata, and then create written supervision plans providingstructure to how supervision will be accomplished.
DENNIS LEWIS: Involve law enforcement.When there is any indication a law hasbeen violated from a bullying incident,police should be notified.When the incident is not directly related to the school,but parents are engaging the school in a conversationabout the incident, help facilitate the involvementof law enforcement when appropriate.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Document-- Document.Though documentation at any level can be tedious,it may be the written records created that clearly removesany inference of deliberate indifference on the partof school officials.
DENNIS LEWIS: Hopefully schools have taken the timeto prepare a general bullying prevention and interventionplan, which includes these litigation protectionstrategies.While nothing can prevent an individualfrom initiating litigation, when all in the communityrecognize the school is making every effortto address bullying and respond aggressively when it occurs,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: there will be a greater chance the school canavoid litigation.[Ways to Avoid Litigation][MUSIC PLAYING][PART THREE INTERVENTION STRATEGIES FOR STAFF]
JUDY BRUNNER: Welcome back.Let's turn our attention to some specific strategies educatorscan utilize to address and reduce bullying behaviors.To the degree possible, educatorsshould be consistent in terms of response.Granted, it's never easy to get this accomplished,because educators, just like many others,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: have different ways of responding or not respondingto what is seen and heard.That's what makes it so important to provide staffwith information and suggestions relatedto prevention and intervention.Use faculty meeting time to discusshow to appropriately intervene in a classroom,on the playground, in the cafeteria, or in a restroom.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: This opportunity to come together not onlygives teachers time to think out loud,but it provides time for the administratorto reflect on what staff knows or needsto know on the subject.This is also a good time for a discussionrelated to bystanders.These students need support, and they will grow emotionally whengiven appropriate suggestions.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: The more time devoted to this topic,the better the likelihood staff will be consistentwhen it's necessary to use authority.
DENNIS LEWIS: Teach the student handbook and askstudents and parents to sign for receipt.When students are issued this publicationat the beginning of the year, or when a new student enrolls,make sure that someone-- teacher or counselor-- teaches himhow to use it as a reference document.Point out the table of contents.Review the definitions of specific offenses.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: And show students how to read and understandthe scope and sequence related to disciplinary offenses.If the handbook contains information relatedto reporting incidents of bullying and harassment,and we hope it does, make sure studentsare aware of how to accomplish this task.
JUDY BRUNNER: Teach social responsibilityas part of the curriculum.This can be done within a citizenship class, a healthclass, a class in social sciences,or through student advisory.Initiate conversations with studentsby asking questions like, what things about your schoolmakes you proud?What does it mean to be socially responsible at school?
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: How can you help classmates be more socially responsible?How are new students treated?These thought-provoking questionsrequire students to reflect on whatmay be happening on campus, as well as providing opportunityfor them to collectively imagine and discusshow things can improve.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: At the elementary level, using a class meetingto discuss the idea of social responsibility works well.Students can design a bulletin board on this topic,and it blends with other lessons related to character education.Have students draw pictures, write stories,or use role-playing to demonstrate how they shouldrespond when helping a friend.
DENNIS LEWIS: Provide an anonymous method of reportingfor parents and students.There are a number of ways to accomplish this task,but one way that is easily accessibleis on a school's website.Reporting forms should also be availablein the counseling center, administrative offices,or from a classroom teacher.Speak to the victim and bully separately
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: when addressing bullying behaviors.Both of these individuals need to feelthe comfort of confidentiality.And even then, some victims or bullieswill not necessarily be forthcoming with information.Develop written plans for supervision.From discussion among staff membersto scrutinizing the results of surveys,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: administrators need to examine the physical campusfor what we call hot spots.In other words, where are incidentsof bullying most likely to occur.Once these areas have been identified,a written plan for staff supervisionneeds to be developed for before school, after school,and other times during the day when students are out
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: of direct control of a classroom teacher.While these plans should be in place during the beginningmonths of school, they should be revisited and revisitedperiodically.Remember, bullying is similar to crime in this aspect.If one area is closely supervised or patrolled,perpetrators will move to another location.
JUDY BRUNNER: Inform staff with the needto know when a bully/victim relationship existsbetween students.When these individuals are in class,in the hallway, cafeteria, student commons area,or on a school bus, care should betaken to supervise them closely, to the degree possible.Staff should remember that supervision
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: is one of the primary strategies for reducing bullyingbehaviors in school, and effort should bemade in terms of consistency.Counselors, social workers, and administratorsneed to periodically observe classrooms, recess,and cafeterias.It is relatively easy for a bully to harass another student
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: when a teacher is busy teaching.Behaviors are missed and that is one reasonwhy some students make the assumptionthat no one at the school cares about the bullying, whenin fact the adults didn't actually see what happened.Nurses and school secretaries are key players too.These important staff members are the ones that see
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: playground injuries and listen to parents when they callthe school to report an absence. .Health workers and administrative assistantscan serve as the eyes and ears of the administrationas students are in and out of the office.They need to be good listeners and ask questions and beon the alert for discrepancies in facts
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: that might indicate something else occurred other than whatthe child is telling.These important professionals should communicate regularlywith teachers, counselors, and administrators,related to what is seen and heard.Another important group of individualsare the bus drivers.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: For a variety of reasons from length of ride,boredom, and the challenge of supervising closely,it is not uncommon for students to be involvedin situations of bullying at bus stopsand while riding to and from school.A practice to help reduce the behaviorsis seat assignments for every one.It also helps to expect students and parents
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: to sign that they have read and reviewed the bus rules.Teachers should take the time early in the school yearto teach the bus rules as part of their beginning of the yearorientation.And, finally, be sure to share information with transportationpersonnel when you are aware of a known bully thatrides a school bus.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: This knowledge will help everyone, including the busdriver that has the responsibility of safelydelivering students to and from school.Food service and custodial staff play an important role too.These individuals are in a positionto hear and see many things, especiallyat a time when students may think no one is observing.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Cafeterias and hallways are prime areasfor bullies to conduct business.So sharing information with these key employeesshould be part of the professional developmentopportunities.
JUDY BRUNNER: As we conclude this sectionon working with staff, remember these important points.When bullying occurs, staff should provide counselingwhen necessary, refer the situation to law enforcementwhen warranted, supervise closely, involve parents,encourage extracurricular and cocurricular participation,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and document, document, document.Remember, not all bullying behaviors can be stopped,but the number of incidents can be significantly reducedwhen staff make it a priority to addressthe issues in a consistent and timely manner.[MUSIC PLAYING]
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: [PART FOUR WORKING WITH THE BULLY]
JUDY BRUNNER: Welcome back to School House Bullies.In this portion of the program, we'regoing to discuss how to help studentsmost prone to engaging in bullying behaviors.We are quite sure everyone in the listening audiencehas had some experience with these young people.Under some circumstances, they are quite likable.But at other times their behavioris aggressive and mean-spirited.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: While the general population may believe the use of authorityis the best way to address these students,it's really far more complicated.You would probably agree that if it was a matter of discipliningeach indiscretion, the behaviors would have been eliminatedlong ago, and this training program would not be necessary.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: So let's talk about the bully.He will need your help in modifying his behaviorto something more acceptable.A bully's motivation may be driven outof boredom and the need to entertain,or something more spiteful in believing the victimactually deserves the demeaning treatment.Since there will be differences in the dynamics between each
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and every victim, bully, and bystander,one size will not fit all in the wayto approach the intervention.With that in mind, let's take a look at how to help the bullyand discuss the various strategies you'llwant to consider, recognizing that almost all efforts willbe labor intensive if any degree of success is expected.
DENNIS LEWIS: In order to know how to respond,it's important to understand the problem from the studentperspective.Although you would never want to overgeneralizethe types of individuals that are susceptible to bullyingor victimization, there are some characteristics thatare common among the students.Just remember, there really isn't a profile of a bully.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Keep in mind that many bullies may be victims too.That's one of the nuances that makeresponding to these behaviors so challenging.A young person is the aggressor one day and a victim the next.And then sometimes they're active bystanders.Many students will play a multitude of rolesduring the course of their educational careers.
JUDY BRUNNER: Once a young personhas been identified as a bully, frequent one-to-one contactshould occur between the designatedstaff and the individual.It will be the staff's responsibilityto establish rapport with the bullywhile helping him understand that what he's doing is wrong.For some bullies, they simply don't see their behavior
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: as problematic, especially when theybelieve the victim deserves it.Once this process begins, all meetingsand corresponding observations shouldbe documented, both to create a record of progressand to show school personnel are notbeing indifferent to the issue.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: One tool that can be used in conjunction with counselingis a cease and desist contract, and a sampleis in the Facilitator's Guide.This is a written agreement outliningthe behavior for which the bully will be held accountable.How you use the document with studentsmay depend upon grade level.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: When working with elementary students,parental input should be part of the initial discussion.As for secondary students, The time of parent involvementcan be at the discretion of school officials.For students of all grades, parentsshould always have a copy of what has been signed.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: If it appears the behavior is related to boredom or needto entertain, encourage the bullyto participate in an extra or cocurricular activity.It may be sports, a club, or even an outside endeavour.When helping a bully, it may be a matterof trying to determine what that interest isand then channeling his energy into it.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Do not discount the value of using existing supportgroups within the school to supplement other strategies.Some bullies will have hidden, deep-seated anger issuesand may benefit from anger management initiatives.For some, they may be experiencing victimization too,and their behavior is a way of rebalancingtheir own inner emotions.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Regardless, understanding and thenturning the destructive behavior into somethingmore constructive, should be one of the goals.When conferencing with a bully, thereare some important things you'll want to communicate to them.First, there needs to be a statement that emphasizeswhy the behavior is wrong.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Some bullies believe the victim deserves the negative behavior,so there needs to be a discussion related to the factthat no one deserves to be treated in this manner.Talk to the bully about what it means to besocially responsible at school.This involves being considerate and in some casestolerant of classmates.But it's more than just that.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: It's also about helping others when they need assistanceand not hurting someone physically or emotionally.If the bully wants to justify the behavior basedon some negative characteristic of the victim,discuss the fact that is not unusual for adultsto work with people that aren't necessarilythey're best friends or even peoplethey agree with all the time.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: But, regardless, part of growing upis developing behaviors that reflect empathy, sympathy,and maturity.When working with a bully, using role playing can be helpful.Provide opportunities for him to practice how he might respondto a provocative victim.Ignoring, walking away, or redirecting the behavior
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: is a way for the bully to deal with a classmate that maybe irritating or aggravating.
JUDY BRUNNER: Earlier we mentioned involving parents.To work only with the bully and notbring the parents into the mix would be shortsighted.Minimize the use of the term bullyor bullying when talking with parents and with the child.Those two terms have taken on a harsh connotationin today's society, and no parent
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: wants to hear that his child is a bully.To the degree possible, work with parentsand the student from the perspectiveof the specific behaviors the child is demonstrating.In other words, describe the behaviorsby using terms such as teasing, picking on, making fun of,inappropriate physical contact, or name-calling.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Remember, students involved in bullying at schoolmay also be participating in online activity thatis detrimental to classmates.It would be our recommendation that whenconferencing with bullies or parents,there should also be a conversation about how studentsmay be spending their time with social media.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: There may be instances when, while counseling the bully,it becomes apparent that he may be receiving different messagesfrom parents or others at home or even in the community.As an example, some bullies may indicate the demeaning languagethey are using, such as those like gay bashing,is used at home and considered acceptable by the adults.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: This is where a discussion of how rules throughout societyvary from one environment to another.A good way to explain this to studentsmight be to acknowledge first that youwish the name-calling was never used.However, it's much like understandingthe difference between rules on a footballfield and other sports.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Tackling an opposing player is allowed in football,but it will result in a technical foulon the basketball court.Educators are in a good position to help young people understandthat what might be tolerated in one placewill not be acceptable elsewhere.At the very least, students should lead the discussion
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: with an understanding of what willand what won't be allowed at school.
DENNIS LEWIS: It will not be uncommon for some actsof bullying to rise to the level of criminal behavior.This is especially true when bullying involves threatsof bodily harm, physical contact such as hitting,or when it progresses to stalking.If the bullying is occurring online,many states now have laws specific to cyber bullying that
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: may apply.Obviously if the bully has progressedto a criminal violation, law enforcementshould be contacted even if it is notcriminal behavior utilizing a school resource officeror some of the local police department or juvenile officecan be a preemptive measure in talking with the bully.This strategy can be utilized to educate the bully
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: as to potential consequences should the behavior continueto escalate.It is important for the bully to not only understandthat his or her behavior is wrong,but there may be additional legal or social consequences.
JUDY BRUNNER: As a part of any intervention/prevention plandeveloped to address the bully's behavior,care should be taken to include provisionsfor minimizing future contact with the victim for at leastuntil staff is convinced they've been successful in resolvingthe problem.Though there may be some need to make adjustments
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: in the victim's routine, the majority of any modificationshould be made to the bully's daily schedule.Any effort to work through this problemshould be kept as part of the school's records.These documents could be invaluable to the schoolif it's ever necessary to explain why specific actions
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: were taken or omitted.
DENNIS LEWIS:As we conclude this section on working withbullies, it is important to remember that one sizewon't fit all.Individual strategies need to be tailoredspecific to the bully to make the school a friendlierplace for all.[MUSIC PLAYING][PART FIVE - HELPING THE VICTIM]
DENNIS LEWIS: Now let's turn our attention to the victim.These students need support and assistancefrom school personnel and parents,and not just at the time of the incident.He or she will also need to be contacted periodicallythroughout the school year to makecertain the lines of communication are kept open.So what could be done to help the victim.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: First, educators need to understandthe mindset of this individual.While it is true that some students aremore resilient than others, recognizing the possibilityin terms of emotional distress will be important.And an individual's feelings should never be underestimated.As you know, victims come in all shapes and sizes,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: and their individual reactions to harassment will vary.Some are passive, some are provocative,and others are reactive.Regardless, all of these studentsdeserve our immediate and positive attention.There can be a variety of characteristicsthat make the victim attractive to the bully.For passive victims, it typically
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: is the fact they don't fight back or resist.The passive victim gives the response the bully craveswithout the disruption that gets the attention of the adult.Because the bully has, at least in part,chosen the victim because of passivity,working with him or her on skillsto appropriately stand up to the bully may pay dividends.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Passive victims need to look the bully in the eyesand tell them to stop.They should state they don't likewhat is being said or done.Bullies want the passive victim to be humiliated and hurt,and do not expect them to respond in such a manner.Provide one-on-one roleplaying opportunities with the victim,to coach them how to respond when confronted by the bully.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Remember to have periodic contact with the victimand continue to reassure them thattheir previous victimization is still a matter of importanceto school officials.Another strategy helpful for victimsincludes staying in the vicinity of an adult or around friends.While this may not be possible all the time,bullies tend to be sneaky, and they do not want an adult
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to see what they are doing.When surrounded by friends, it is easierto ignore what the bully may be doing.Until conditions improve, advise the victim to avoid the bully.Minimizing contact with the perpetratoris a strategy the victim should be encouraged to use both atand away from school.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: However, staff should never rely on avoidanceas the primary intervention strategy.With young children avoidance maybe difficult due to the configuration of the schoolday.So it may have limited impact.For provocative victims, they sometimesengage in behavior that agitates or provokes others.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: These victims may have special learning needs,and they may not realize or understandthe extent of their inappropriate actions.Being provocative does not excuse the bully's behavior,and that should be made clear to everyone.It may require extra work with the victim on social skills.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Another type of victim is one that is reactive.Perhaps a better term might be an overreactive victim.When bullied, these individuals put on the ultimate show.They're certainly vocal, animated,and they make these types of incidentsvery disruptive to the classroom and school.For this type of victim, roleplaying
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: can be especially effective in helping the individual respondwhen being bullied.Encouraging all students to participatein some type of activity that strengthens social skills,aids in developing friendships, and increases their self esteemcan be very beneficial.Victims may be depressed and have few friends.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: And sometimes this unhappiness results in a reluctanceto come to school.Probably the most important thing to keep in mindis that no one-- parents, educators, or classmates--may know the extent of the pain another individual isexperiencing.Each school year, we hear about studentsthat reach the point where they are desperate for relief--
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: some so desperate that they commit acts of self-harm.While all victims are not suicidal or self-destructive,some will be so inclined.When counseling victims, staff should be especially alertfor the possibility of these tendencies.If the victimization is occurringthrough a social media site, students
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: should be advised to print the intimidating messages for useas evidence if a complaint needs to be formalized.It's also possible to block communicationfrom an unfriendly source, but it's surprisinghow many students are reluctant to do so.While this strategy may have limited value in termsof effectiveness, due to the ease with which online user
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: names can be modified, it is still something to consider.Students should be advised they can file a complaintwith the website too.This may seem like a daunting task, but it is possible.And if the bullying consists of anythingthat might be a violation of law,they are well within their rights
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to notify law enforcement.None of this would, be easy and most studentswill need support of a trusted adult.All students should be educated about the typesof behavior associated with bullyingthat is against the law.These include threats of violence, harassment relatedto ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation, physical assaults,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: extortion, vandalism, property destruction, or stealingpersonal property.Another important part of student conversationis the assurance that the staff willhelp to prevent and intervene.Regardless of whether the bullying is occurringface-to-face or over the internet,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: it should be stressed to victims that attempting to retaliatewill only further complicate a stressful and difficultsituation.Retaliating may put adults in the uncomfortable positionof dealing with a code of conduct violationfor both the bully and the victim.
DENNIS LEWIS: All counseling sessions with the victimand interactions with the parents,just like with the bully and their parents,should be thoroughly documented.Speaking with parents may also have the added advantageof helping staff determine what, if any,support groups may be appropriate or necessaryfor the child.Depending on the extent, type, and where the victimization is
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: occurring, it may also be necessary to involvelaw enforcement or facilitate that contact for parents.
JUDY BRUNNER: Sometimes it's helpful for school personnelto give the victim response strategies in written form.This information can be placed on an index cardand provided to the victim duringan individual conference.The strategies can be explained, and the opportunityfor roleplaying is an option too.These cards can be placed in a backpack, a pant pocket,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: or a billfold-- all locations easily accessiblefor student reference.It's not so much that students will get outa card of strategies during a bullying incident.But they will remember that they havea number of suggestions that can be used when necessary.This can boost self-confidence and self-assurance.
DENNIS LEWIS: There is no doubt that many students sufferat the hand of a bully at school.Educators should be prepared to offer specific suggestionsand strategies that victims can use to deter and reducethe unwanted physical or verbal abuse.[MUSIC PLAYING]
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: [PART SIX HELPING THE BYSTANDER]
DENNIS LEWIS: Welcome back to School House Bullies.In this section, let's take some timeto discuss the role of the bystanders.While working with victims and bullieswould always be a part of any intervention-and-preventionplan, the bystander should not beforgotten, because they play an important rolein empowering the bully.Think of these students as the audience.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: For the bully whose motivation is entertainment or boredom,helping the bystanders take the appropriate course of actionwill be of the utmost importance in reducing the behavior.In order to have a productive conversationwith this group of individuals, it is necessary for educatorsto understand why some students maydecide to not provide assistance to a fellow classmate.
JUDY BRUNNER: The bystander may not be particularly fondof the bully, but may feel a needto participate as a means of guaranteeinghis own personal safety or social status.Many bullies appear to be popular.As a result, some bystanders may share in that popularityby association.They may rationalize their own lack of support for the victim
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: by reminding themselves that while they don't like whatthe bully is doing, he's still my friend,and I don't want my friend to be in trouble.For other bystanders, the motivation to remain silentmay be driven by the fact that theybelieve they'll become the next victim if they fall outof favor.Some of you may have heard of the term
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: "diffusion of responsibility."This refers to what happens when a dangerous event takes place.Many see what has happened, and yet few, if any,step up to help.Simply put, some people feel lesscompelled to provide assistance if theybelieve others may do so.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: The larger the crowd surrounding a bully and the victim,the more likely the bystanders maybe to assume that someone else will assist.Never forget, some young people do notintervene because they just don't know what to do to help.This is why the training of studentsin how to support and respond is so important for educators.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Recognize that most children in schoolwill periodically find themselvesin the role of bystander.Efforts should be made to teach intervention skills,coupled with social responsibility.In other words, teach children to stand up for classmateswhen abuse is observed.The use of roleplaying, though moreeffective in the elementary and middle-level grades,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: can help students learn the skillsthey will need to respond more appropriately whenin the role of bystander.Roleplaying should include helping bystanders practiceskills they can use when trying to interveneon behalf of the victim.For some students, they will be resistive to interveningfor the reasons already stated.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: For these students, provide them with an escape mechanism,such as pocket language.These are phrases that students can practice during roleplayingwhich will provide them an excuse for exiting and removingthemselves as part of the audience.The bystander can indicate that hehas to leave to go to the libraryor finish some homework.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: This gives them an excuse to make an exit.As adults, we might prefer students to interveneand stand up for the victim.But in any school, there will alwaysbe some individuals not willing to do so.At a minimum, bystanders should leave the sceneand tell a trusted adult what was observed.Remember, many bystanders will need
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: to be taught how to respond appropriately,and they need specific skills and strategiesfor intervention or escape.
JUDY BRUNNER: Since all students will occasionallyfind themselves in the role of bystander,help them understand that bullying is wrongand no one deserves it.Take the time to acknowledge the fact that some victims exhibitprovocative behaviors that irritate classmates.As you speak about social responsibility,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: remind them that it's everyone's job to step inand help someone, whether they're a friend or not.Talk to bystanders about the differencebetween sympathy and empathy.Empathy is not an easy concept for elementary studentsto grasp, but secondary students should easilyunderstand the idea of feeling with someone else.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Putting oneself in the role of victimcan help to motivate some students to step in and assist.This is another example where roleplayingwill be so beneficial.It's helpful to remind bystanders that behaviorshave consequences.Teach them the idea that doing nothing to help the victim
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: is further empowering the bully.Explain to bystanders the differencebetween bullying and normal peer conflict.While conflict is part of life for all of us,bullying does not have to be so.Again, under no circumstances willa student deserve to be harassed or bullied.
DENNIS LEWIS: Once bystanders havebeen taught how to respond appropriately,but fail to do so, staff will haveto be prepared to take action.This would include the involvement of the bystanders'parents in making them aware of their child'srole in the event.Depending on the level of the bystanders' involvement,there also may be a code of conduct violation
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: that would necessitate discipline.Bystanders need to be educated that theymay be held responsible for their inactionif their behavior facilitates the bully's abilityto inflict pain or humiliation upon a classmate.How you help the bystanders will depend on their motivationfor being a part of the audience.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Though counseling has been discussed for both the victimand bully, continued long-term exposureto witnessing victimization can be detrimental to the bystandertoo.Meeting with and assessing the impact on the bystanderis advisable.This counseling session can also be an opportunityto revisit more appropriate options for response
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: by the bystander if he finds himself in the same positionagain.
JUDY BRUNNER: During a busy school day,it's easy to fail to train the silent majorityor the bystanders.When time is in short supply, it'sunderstandable that most of the attentionis turned to the bullies and the victims.Keep in mind that some of the real powerto reduce these anti-social behaviorswill rest on the shoulders of the bystander students.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Without their approval, silently or otherwise,bullies will be less likely to target classmates.[MUSIC PLAYING][PART SEVEN SUPPORTING PARENTS]
DENNIS LEWIS: Welcome back to School House Bullies.In this portion of the program, wewill discuss how to work with and support all parentsregardless of whether their child is a bully, victim,or bystander.We all know that reducing the amountand types of bullying behaviors at school can be complicated.And for a number of reasons, working with parents
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: can be challenging, even under the best of circumstances.The degree of cooperation between school officialsand parents will have a direct impacton the school personnel's abilityto resolve the situation in a manner thatresults in a positive outcome for everyone.When working with parents, there are some basic and important
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: things to remember.To begin the discussion, let's acknowledgeparents may very likely be angry and frustrated.They may even expect educators to provide immediate reliefyesterday, while administrators and counselors understandthat incidents of bullying take time to investigate.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Some parents will have little patience.They will expect an explanation of what will be done todayto get it stopped.In fact, many parents tend to view the solutionto bullying as one involving only discipline.Their view will be if school officials justadminister consequences for the behavior, it will cease.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: As educators, we know there are solutionsthat are very complex.But it's advisable for you to keep the parental frameworkin mind.Remember, when students are hurting,their parents are hurting too.Once a bully-victim relationship has been established,the victim may feel harassed even though theremay be little or no interaction or even
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: contact with the perpetrator.Sometimes the mere presence or a glancecan cause a victim to feel threatened.When this occurs, the victim may go home and relate to parentsthat the behavior is reoccurring and that no one isdoing anything about it.Remember, while intimidation may not necessarilybe what the bully intended, the victim
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: is interpreting the situation as he or she sees and feels it.So parents expect discipline to be administered.School staff understand the difficultyin doing so based only on the proximityof the bully to the victim without a substantive actoccurring.These are never enjoyable conversation for parents,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: but having the dialogue will provide a golden opportunityto offer some education on the topic,and perhaps explain the dynamics of bullyingbehavior and victimization.While educators can't promise to eliminate all bullyingfrom the school community, there are realistic promisesthat should and must be made.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Assure them their concerns will be taken seriously,an investigation will begin promptly,and if necessary an immediate plan for interventionwill be developed.If it's determined that a plan is necessary,take time to put in writing.A sample is provided in the Facilitator's Guide.Get input from all parties and develop the plan
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: much like what would be done for an individualized educationprogram.When a written plan is warranted,there are a few components that should be included.In addition to the actions the schoolwill take to get the behavior to cease,the plan should include what the victim willdo to avoid and prevent further incidents,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: what the parents will do to support and advise,and what school personnel will providerelated to supervision, counseling,and other forms of intervention.Everyone has a role to play, and should be part of the solution.A copy of the plan should be providedto the student, the parent, and school officials.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Remember, school is a multi-faceted institution.Teachers, counselors, social workers, and aidesshould be notified when there's a bully/victimrelationship between students.It would be difficult to explain to a parent after the factif the bullying continued and others were not notified.
DENNIS LEWIS: Be prepared for when parents wantto know what has been done.Parents will often inquire as to the consequences for the bully.Because of the requirements on student privacy containedin the Family Education Rights and Privacy Act,it will not be possible to be specific on whataction was taken relative to the discipline of other students.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: However, parents and students shouldbe assured actions taken against the bully or any other studentwere consistent with the student code of conduct.While not being specific about what was or will be done,you are assuring them that you willadhere to procedures and consequences outlined
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: in the parent-student handbook.Some on-campus bullying rises to the level of criminal behavior,and law enforcement may need to be contacted.It is not unusual for bullying to extendbeyond the scope of the school's jurisdiction.So don't hesitate to enlist the expertise of a member of a lawenforcement community.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: If it is not a criminal violation,they will let the parent and you know.And if it is a violation of the criminal code,they can assist everyone in navigatingthrough the criminal justice processin reporting the incident.If a law violation is expected, encourage parentsto contact police, even when the behavior does notappear connected to the school.
JUDY BRUNNER: Administrators may find themselvesin the position of facilitating this type of reportingwhen parents are unsure of how to proceed.Those schools have an obligation to be involvedin some off-campus bullying behavior impacting the schoolday.There may be a point where it's the parent's responsibilityto report what has happened to law enforcement officials.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Without explanation from educators,many parents will not understand the legal parametersor expectations.So be there to offer support.
DENNIS LEWIS: Let's talk for just a few minutesabout how to establish rapport, cooperation,and trust on this topic.A formalized parent education programcan be a positive way to begin a community-wide discussionbetween parents and school personnel.And while none of us wants to form another committee,a cross-section of the school community
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: formed for the purpose of addressing this issueis always worth the time.It also may be advantageous to includethe parent that is your most vocal critic on this topic.Think about incorporating a discussion at parentand booster club meetings.This may not include all parents,but it will reach those whose children participate
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: in extracurricular events.In some sporting arenas, studentsare encouraged to be intimidating.But these same students may need remindingthat they're not to bring that type of behavioron to the school campus.Parents and school staff can reinforce this message.Newsletters are another excellent way
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to provide parents with information.They should know about the behavior,including tips and strategies thathelp to support the bullies, the victims, and the bystanders.
DENNIS LEWIS: Finally, utilize the school andor district website to disseminate informationto parents.This is an excellent tool to promoteresources and strategies for parents to consider.It also provides an opportunity for parentsto file an electronic report if they so wish.Remember, parents are busy people too,and making it relatively easy for them
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to notify the school of a problem can be beneficial.In all venues of communication with parents,schools should stress that the school will nottolerate the behavior, and personnelwill respond and investigate each reported occurrence.When appropriate, promise that authority will be used.Emphasis should be placed on providing a variety of ways
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: for parents and students to report incidentsof bullying and harassment, regardlessof whether it is their child.And never forget the importance of a positive relationshipbetween school personnel and parents.Especially in situations that involve bullyingand harassment, the school's ability
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: to reach a satisfactory dispositionwill depend heavily on the abilityto communicate with parents in a professional manner.[MUSIC PLAYING][PART EIGHT SUPPORTING PARENTS OF VICTIMS]
JUDY BRUNNER: Welcome back to School House Bullies.In this part of the program, we willdiscuss how to support and help the parents of the victims.Parents may be the ones that bring the problemto the attention of school officials,or they may be unaware of the circumstances surroundingtheir own child.Either way, staff should stand ready to offer
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: support and assistance.As early as possible, assure the victim's parentstheir assistance in resolving this problem is not onlyappreciated but also needed, recognizing theyare the authority at home.Encourage their questions and correspondence.And, in fact, insist the school be
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: kept updated as the parents learn moreand interact with their own child.It's true that with some parents,you may receive more than enough information and assistance,but that's far more helpful than when parents feelalienated or underappreciated.
DENNIS LEWIS: When conferencing with the parents of a victim,communicate what has or will be done to alleviate the bullying.It doesn't violate the Family Education Rights and PrivacyAct to update parents on what the school isdoing during the investigation.Use language such as, "We have spoken with your child'steachers and counselor and alerted them to the concerns."
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: "Additionally, we have talked with several studentsand are still gathering information."This type of information-sharing does notcompromise confidentiality, but it does say to the parentthat the concern was taken seriouslyand the school is addressing the problem in a timely manner.When a parent brings a concern to school personnel,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: set a timeline and promise to call them within 72 hoursto provide an update.Tell the parent, "I will do my bestto call you with a progress report in a few days,but if you haven't heard from me by a certain date,please feel free to contact me."
JUDY BRUNNER: Parents appreciate the sincerityof an educator that is realistic about what can be done,and they do know you are busy.There's nothing wrong with puttingsome of the responsibility back to the parents.Be prepared for parents that may assume school staffare not doing enough to address the situation.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Remember, it's their child and parents can and usually willbe emotional when they believe the child is hurting.When emotions are high, parents may say or displayregrettable behaviors, and when this happensit may be within hearing distance of the child,making the job of the teacher, the counselor,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and the principal even more difficult.Keep in mind that a problem of bullyingis probably getting a great deal of attention in termsof conversation at home.
DENNIS LEWIS: While objectivity during any investigationis important, don't become so desensitized youcan't be empathetic to the feelings of parents.This may seem like a routine day at school to you,but it will be anything but routineto a parent or grandparent that is scared, hurt, angry,or frustrated.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: When a child is unhappy at school,it is usually disruptive at home too.There are times when children don'twant the help of their parents.So in addition to the frustration of the situation,children may be reluctant to explain whatis happening with much detail.This will probably result in additional irritationfor the parents.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Some will have difficulty keeping their own emotionsin check.They may visibly display their own anger.They may encourage their childrento retaliate physically.And this is especially true for boys.Emphasize to parents that physical retaliation is neverin the best interest of anyone.While we can't dispute that it might work on a rare occasion,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: there is the potential for serious injuryto either the bully or the victim.And that is never a good thing.If parents believe school personnel are unconcernedor minimizing the problem as they view it to be,they may make threats of their own,such as that of a lawsuit or warningof physical intervention with the bully.
JUDY BRUNNER: Parents will want, and theydeserve, specific suggestions on how to help.The victim has several options.And parents can help to reinforce the suggestedstrategies.First, the victim should tell the bully to stop the behavior.While this conversation doesn't need to be antagonistic,it does need to be direct.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Tell parents to encourage their childto look the bully in the eye and say with as much confidence ispossible that he doesn't like what's happeningand it needs to stop.Encourage parents to roleplay with the child at homeon how to respond the next time something like thishappens at school.Practicing with the parents can give the child confidence
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and reassure the parent that they're helping.
DENNIS LEWIS: There is just no questionaddressing issues involving bullying take time and energy.But the importance of a thorough and complete investigationshould never be underestimated.To do anything less not only increasesthe possibility of parental criticismthat may lead to litigation, it alsowill not provide the type of response most supportive
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: of the victim.We recommend educators investigate all allegationsof bullying with the mindset that the situation didoccur as it was reported.Then let the evidence prove otherwise.When you operate within that typeof investigative framework, you'remore likely to be thorough and detailed with the examination,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: depending on the type and severityof the alleged incident.Provide parents with specific strategiesfrom the school's general bullying preventionand intervention plan that will be utilized.Assure parents during the investigatoryprocess the school will take actionto help protect their child from further abuse.
JUDY BRUNNER: All of us have had parent conferences they get offtrack in terms of topic.In these situations, however, keep the conversationfocused on the issue.If a parent is skeptical, listen carefullyto what is said, but don't becomedefensive trying to explain the school's position.
DENNIS LEWIS: Be factual and specificwhen discussing student behavior.And, most of all, do your best to end the conversationon a positive note.[MUSIC PLAYING][PART NINE SUPPORTING PARENTS OF BULLIES]
DENNIS LEWIS: Welcome back to School House Bullies.In this part of the program, we willdiscuss how to work with the parents of the bully.Much like parents of the victim, mothers and fathersof the bully sometimes see only one side of the problem.It will be important to stress to themthat the school must investigate any and all reports,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: that the investigation will be impartial and fact-driven.Assure parents that regardless whether their child has or hasnot engaged in the behavior, there cannot be any furtherinteraction between their child and the reported victim thatmight be construed as intimidating.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Be prepared to hear from parents that their child is notthe bully, but the victim of bullying.This might be a good time to educate parentsto the idea that seldom is a child only a bully, a victim,or a bystander.For many children, depending on setting and circumstance,
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: they flow in and out of the various rolesover the course of their educational experience--a bully one day, maybe a victim the next.And the reverse is true too.This information should not be ignored,and it may be a contributing factor.But both students and parents needto understand that regardless of what a victim may or may not
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: do, or how a student accused of bullyingmay or may not have been treated,there really is no justification to harass or intimidatea classmate.Just like with the parents of the victim,encourage the parents of the bullyto provide written documentation of whattheir child has told them.This should include any evidence to support something other
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: than what the victim alleges.Oftentimes bullies will indicate that the victiminitiated inappropriate contact or has done somethingto retaliate.If there is evidence to support these contentions,ask the parents of the bully to providethe documents to the school.And if it turns out that the information is correct, be sure
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: this is part of the inquiry.When speaking with parents of the bully,make sure to identify specific behaviors that are problematicand refer to the student code of conduct.Keep in mind that bullying in and of itselfis not a behavior.It is a category consisting of many different typesof behaviors.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: In fact, when possible, refrain from using the term "bullying"at all with the parents.The term "bullying" can cause some parentsto become defensive.So, when, possible leave the term out of the conversation.Labeling won't necessarily be helpful,and it may very well cause the conversationto turn into something unintended.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: While board policies are important,the parent/student handbook is usually easier to understand.You may have to refer to definitions in the documentin order to convince a parent that the specific behaviorfalls under the guidelines of bullying.It should not surprise anyone that most parents do notwant to hear that their child has participated
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: in this type of anti-social behavior.Seeing the behavior described in writing may help.Speak with parents about social responsibilityand encourage them to talk to their children about civilityand mutual respect.Some students that bully at schoolalso participate with the behavior online.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: So encourage parents to monitor computer and cellphoneusage as a response to their child's transgression.Encourage parents to exercise good judgment and designconsequences that are reasonable.Ask parents to stay in contact with school officialsto keep them apprised of issues or problems
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: the student may encounter.It is our job to assist everyone involved,and the bully will need continued supportfrom both parents and educators throughout the school year.For some young people, the problemis such that professional assistance outside of schoolmay need to be arranged.Finally, parents may be surprised to learn
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: they may have legal liability on this topicshould their child continue to engage in the behavior.Parents should be informed that even though they may notbelieve their child's behavior constitutes bullying,it will still be in their best interestto work in tandem with the schoolto find a satisfactory resolution to the perceived
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: harassment.[MUSIC PLAYING][PART TEN SOCIAL MEDIA AND THE INTERNET]
DENNIS LEWIS: Welcome back to School House Bullies.No discussion of bullying should failto include the role social media and the internet playin providing another medium for bullies to use.The degree to which parents understand these issueswill vary, but school personnel willbe able to not only educate them on this topic,but also give them specific strategies that
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: support their children.Parents will probably not be particularlyinterested in generalities and will want immediate results.And honestly who can blame them.We encourage you to speak with parents about specific waysthey can help their child.
JUDY BRUNNER: One of the first things parents should dois develop an open dialogue with their children on this subject.Though it may be natural for students to want privacy,some young people have not thoughtthrough both the short- and long-term consequencesin using an electronic device inappropriately.Suggest that parents go online with their children.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: According to the authors of Bullying Beyondthe Schoolyard-- Preventing and Responding to Cyberbullying,parents might use questions such as, "What websites do youusually go to?" "What's Your Favorite Website?""What do you do on these sites?" "How do you keep yourself safeonline? " Or, "Has anyone at school ever talked with you
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: about using the computer responsibly?"All of these discussion-starters are great waysfor parents to inquire into their child'selectronic behaviors without beingaccusatory or heavy-handed.
DENNIS LEWIS: Schools use internet use agreementswith students.So parents should consider this same type of arrangement.We recommend parents speak with their childrenand make a listing of things that should and should notbe done online.And put them into writing.And get everyone involved by putting their own nameon the dotted line.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: Parents should be encouraged to havethese conversations with their children at a very early age.It is not uncommon for elementary-age studentsto have their own personal electronic devices.So teaching the correct way to use themshould be done in a timely manner.
JUDY BRUNNER: Help parents understand the ideaof digital citizenship.While this concept is familiar to most students and educators,parents need to be equated with the term as well.In short, there are some behaviors that are simplyinappropriate online.Good citizenship, whether online or offline,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: should be the standard for all of us all of the time.Parents need to reinforce what a digital conscience isand how it relates to bullying and cyber-harassment.In other words, parents should communicate to their childrenthat they should not post anything online that they wouldnot want a religious leader, a principal, a police
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: officer, a prospective employer, parent, professor,or predator to see.It is not unusual for employers or colleges and universitiesto explore a student's social media connectionsto ascertain information related to student interests.When competition is intense, what is posted on social media
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: websites just might make the differencebetween two or more candidates for college admission.Another option for parents is the useof some type of filter or tracking system.These can be useful, but parents should reflectupon how and when to use them.We believe one reason to use this type of software
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: is to help with deterrence.With that in mind, parents shouldhave an honest discussion about how these systems may be usedto monitor online activity.When that is done openly and honestly,it may be just enough to keep kids online behaviorsocially responsible.And isn't that what parents want,
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: for their children to use good judgment when online.
DENNIS LEWIS: Speak with parents about the fact that anythingposted on the internet is both public and permanent,regardless of how it may be protected.Remind them that most images can retrieved for years evenafter they have been deleted.Parents should also be educated and informedthat nothing is ever really erased.
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: It is just hidden.In other words, delete equals hide.The more knowledgeable parents are on this subject,the more informed the dialogue willbe between parent and child.In cases of civil lawsuits or criminal charges,social media sites will turn overevidence to the requesting party if and when
DENNIS LEWIS [continued]: subpoenaed to do so.And parents need to understand this is always an option.
JUDY BRUNNER: Refer to the student handbook and speakwith parents about definitions of cyber harassment,as well as the disciplinary scopeand sequence of consequences for code-of-conduct violations.Reassure parents that you will take all complaints seriouslyand will investigate allegations of cyber bullying immediately.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Ask parents to provide you a writtenaccount of what their child has reported,including any evidence.This may also include locations of electronic-based bullying,such as postings, images, or recordings.If the problem involves social media,ask parents to provide printed copies of text messages.
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: Encourage them to contact the siteand ask officials to take down the posting.This may take some time to accomplish,but it is usually worth the effort.While it may sound logical, suggestingparents of the victim take away the electronic deviceends up punishing the victim more than the perpetrator
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and is usually counterproductive.Like it or not, social media is howstudents connect with friends and acquaintanceson a daily basis.So helping kids become socially responsible is the goal.And speaking of kids communicatingthrough social networking, a whole separate languageexists that students utilize, much of which
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: may be foreign to adults.Make parents aware of the various acronymdictionaries offering thousands of words and phrasesconverted to various sequences of letters.Parents need to know that acronyms such as lmir--let's meet in real life-- should be calls for further inquiry
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: and questioning of their child as to who they may be meeting.
JUDY BRUNNER: Cyber-harassment and bullyingis extremely detrimental to children, in part,because they believe, whether true or not,that the entire world is now seeing what's beingsaid or posted about them.Many children suffer in silence from the humiliationthat occurs online.And in some cases they feel they can't talk to an adult that
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: will understand and help.Parents need to fill the void and become that "trusted adult"their son or daughter will turn to whencyber bullying is occurring.Schools are in the unique positionof being able to facilitate that bond by working closelywith, and educating parents, on this negative aspect
JUDY BRUNNER [continued]: of cyberspace.[PART 11 - VIGNETTES][Physical Harassment in the Hallway][Secondary]
STUDENT: Hey, guys.How're you doing?
STUDENT: Hey, so how was class?
STUDENT: Look at that sign on his locker.[LAUGHTER]
STUDENT: Hey, girl.
STUDENT: How was class?
STUDENT: So boring.[CHATTER]
STUDENT: Hey, nerd.
STUDENT: Where'd he go?[Physical Harassment in the Hallway]
STUDENT: Hey, Izz.How're you doing?
STUDENT: So how was class?
STUDENT: Look at that sign on his locker.[LAUGHTER]
JANITOR: Hey, guys.
STUDENT: Go back to loserville
JANITOR: Get to class.
STUDENT: Hey, Izz.How're you doing?
STUDENT: Hey.Hey, so how was class?[CHATTER]
STUDENT: Hey, girl.[CHATTER][Physical Harassment in the Hallway]
STUDENT [continued]: [Exclusion of Classmate on the Playground][Elementary]
STUDENT: Go away you big crybaby.You should just go home.You don't belong here.Yeah, go away.go away, you big crybaby.I don't know why he went to school here.Yeah.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Like is there an announcement whenit's-- hey, Tavo.
TAVO: People were being mean to meand they were calling me mean names.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Now, Tavo,we've talked about this before.Do you remember what we said.You've got to ignore them and go findsomebody else to play with.OK.Go play with somebody else.We tell these kids all the time, if you'll just ignore it,you know, then they can go find somebody else to play and--
STUDENT: Go away, you big cry baby.You should just go home.you don't belong here.
STUDENT: Yeah, go away.
STUDENT: Go away, you big crybaby.
STUDENT: I don't know why he went to school here.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Hey.
TAVO: People were being mean over there--and it's Braden, Ken, and Sophia.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: What were they saying to you?
TAVO: They were saying mean names.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Oh, I'm so sorry, Tavo.Listen, you go play with those kids over there.I'll go take care of them, OK.
TAVO: All right.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Thank you for telling me.Hey, come here for just a second.I just heard some news that maybe youweren't so nice to Tavo out here on the playground.That makes me very disappointed.Why were you so mean to him?Because, right, you don't have a good answer, do you?Because there is no good reason to be mean to somebody.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR [continued]: How would you feel if that was done to you, hon?Listen, at this school, I expect you to be kind.We play with one another.All right.Can you do that for me?All right.Can you do that for me?you do that for me?Excellent.Knuckles.Knuckles.Knuckles.Let's be good to one another and have fun out herewhile we're playing, OK.All right.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR [continued]: [Exclusion of Classmate on the Playground]
STUDENT: Go away, you big cry baby.
STUDENT: You should just go home.You don't belong here.
STUDENT: Yeah, go away.Go away, you big crybaby.
STUDENT: I don't know why he went to school here.
STUDENT: Hey, Tavo.You can come play with us.You can be our friend.
TAVO: OK.But they were being a bully.
STUDENT: We can still be your friend.Come on.
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR: Hey.Come here for just a second.I just heard some news that maybe you were so not[Exclusion of Classmate on the Playground]
PLAYGROUND SUPERVISOR [continued]: [CHATTER]
STUDENT: Miss Little?
STUDENT: At recess, there was a couple of kids bullying Tavo.
TEACHER: OK.And did you guys hear what was going on?
TEACHER: OK, thank you so much for telling me.I'll take care of it from here, OK.Thank you.You can go back to your seats.[CHATTER]
TEACHER: OK, class.We have something very important to talk about.So I need all eyes up here.I need your listening ears on.OK, hands down.It's come to my attention that at recess wehad some problems on the playground thatweren't very nice.And you know we have classroom rules, playground rules,and cafeteria rules.Can someone tell me some of the playground rules?
TEACHER [continued]: Yes.
STUDENT: No putdowns.
TEACHER: No put downs.Very good.
STUDENT: Always include.
TEACHER: Always include.Yes.
STUDENT: No touching.
TEACHER: And no touching.
TEACHER: Now, today I heard therewas some name-calling going on and some things that were notvery nice.And so we want to make sure that we include everybody,and that we are nice to one another.Can we do that?
TEACHER: OK.Thank you.[Exclusion of Classmate on the Playground][Humiliatio at the Water Fountain]
TEACHER [continued]: [Elementary and Secondary]
STUDENT: Come on.Geez.You're taking forever.[LAUGHTER]
STUDENT: What a loser.[Humiliation at the Water Fountain]
STUDENT: Come on.You're taking forever.
STUDENT: Jerk, don't do that.
STUDENT: Leave him alone.It's not funny.
STUDENT: How do you think that feels?[Humiliation at the Water Fountain][Verbal and Non Verbal Hallway Harassment]
STUDENT [continued]: [Elementary and Secondary]
STUDENT: You look pretty, dude.
STUDENT: W- w- watch this.[LAUGHTER][Verbal and Non Verbal Hallway Harassment]
STUDENT: Dude, look at this kid.What a freak, man.Where you going?N- wait.W- watch this.Watch this.
STUDENT: Give him a break.
STUDENT: Come on.Don't you remember when you were in ninth grade,and they did this stuff to you?
STUDENT: Leave him alone.God.
STUDENT: It's not worth it, man.Come on.Let's go.Forget it, man.[Verbal and Non Verbal Hallway Harassment]
STUDENT [continued]: [Extortion and Physical Harassment on Bus and Bus Stop][Elementary and Secondary]
BUS DRIVER: Well, hi.How are you?Oh, you've got to be kidding.She said what?Oh, my gosh.Oh, boy, that's really classic.She is such a troublemaker.I know.I know.That's crazy.
BUS DRIVER [continued]: Yeah.Yeah, you are.Just be careful.[Extortion and Physical Harassment on Bus and Bus Stop]
BUS DRIVER: Morning.
STUDENT: Good morning.
BUS DRIVER: Hey, knock it off, boys.
STUDENT: What are you laughing at?Give me your money, or I'll beat you up.
BUS DRIVER: Bye, bye, everybody.Have a wonderful day.[CHATTER]
BUS DRIVER: Bye, bye.Hi, Aidan.You know why I asked you to move up front this morning?
BUS DRIVER: You didn't do anything wrong.I just saw that Brady-- it lookedlike he was trying to take your lunch money this morning.So let's get out and go tell the teacher, OK.
AIDAN: OK.Good morning.Had some-- he was bullied on the bus this morning.What happened?I couldn't see everything that was going on,but it looked like Brady was trying to steal your lunchmoney this morning.
BUS DRIVER: Yeah, we'll get that taken care of.
WOMAN: OK, thank you.[Extortion and Physical Harassment on Bus and Bus Stop]
BUS DRIVER: Here, come stand aside here,so I can let everybody else on?Are you OK?Would you step aside here, please.Can I get you to step aside.Let the others on.Boys, I saw what happened at the bus stop this morning.And that was inappropriate.
BUS DRIVER [continued]: I'm going to have to report that to the principalwhen we get to school this morning.I would not let anybody else treat you that way,and I don't expect you to treat anybody else that way, OK.OK, go get your seats.
BUS DRIVER [continued]: [Threats and Intimidation Through Cyber Bullying][Elementary and Secondary]
GIRL: Dude, totally post that one.It was so good.
GIRL: That was a really cute picture.
GIRL: Oh, they were so cute.[LAUGHTER]
GIRL: Ew, l who just came up on my screen.
GIRL: Dude, look at those shorts.
GIRL: Those are so short.
GIRL: OK, pull this up online.We have--
GIRL: This is unacceptable.
GIRL: Gross.Look at her.
GIRL: Dude, we should get her to cry on Monday,in front of everybody.
GIRL: And then she'll pull out her little teddy bears.
GIRL: Oh, my gosh.
GIRL: I've seen her playing with teddy bears.
GIRL: Then her American dolls, like-- what is she, two?
GIRL: She's disgusting.Tell her to die.
GIRL: We should get the football teamto gang up on her on Monday.
GIRL: Of course.
GIRL: Yeah.They all hate her, because she slept with, like,every single one of a them.
GIRL: Yeah, then they found out about it.
GIRL: Yeah, ah.Oh, my god.Dude, she so hates this.She 's so hurting right now.
GIRL: That's rude.What a nerd.
GIRL: No, your face is rude.
GIRL: Your face is rude.That's a good one.[Threats and Intimidation Through Cyber Bullying]
GRACE'S FRIEND: Hey, mom.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: Yes, hon.
GRACE'S FRIEND: I need to talk to you.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: OK, what about?
GRACE'S FRIEND: Well, I saw something on the internetlast night, and it really bothered me.
GRACE'S FRIEND: OK, well.These girls, they were saying some really bad thingsabout one of my friends and-- you know,I shouldn't even be talking about this.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: Sweetheart, you can tell me.
GRACE'S FRIEND: OK.Well, they said that if she showed up at school on Mondaythat they were going to beat her up.And I'm really worried about her,because I don't want her to get hurt.And they were saying these terrible things about her.And they were calling her a ho.And I'm really worried.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: I really thinkthat we need to go talk to somebody at school.
GRACE'S FRIEND: No, if we go, then those girlsare going to think that I'm the one who told on them.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: Honey, it's the right thing to do.If somebody was doing this to you,you would want your friends to help stand up for you too.
GRACE'S FRIEND: I guess.
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: We should go talk to the counselor.
GRACE'S FRIEND: Can I do it alone?
GRACE'S FRIEND'S MOM: Yes.[Threats and Humiliation Through Cyber Bullying]
GRACE'S MOM: Hi, sweetie.
GRACE: Hey, Mom.
GRACE'S MOM: Whatcha doing?
GRACE'S MOM: Yeah.
GRACE'S MOM: Hey, the counselor called me today.
GRACE: What's going on?
GRACE: It's nothing.There's just some girls at school, but it's nothing.
GRACE'S MOM: Grace.I think it's something.
GRACE: Well, they've just been taunting me,but it's nothing serious.
GRACE'S MOM: Hey, what were you working on when I came in?Can I see it?You can't let anything get to you like this.But we'll make everything OK.
GRACE'S MOM [continued]: [Threats and Intimidation Through Cyber Bullying][Exclusion in the Cafeteria][Elementary and Secondary]
GIRL: So what are you guys thinkingabout wearing to the dance?
GIRL: Hey, guys.
GIRL: Don't even think about sitting with us.That seat's taken.
GIRL: You don't even belong here.
GIRL: You're a loser.
GIRL: What was she thinking with that outfit this morning?
GIRL: I know, right.Seriously.
GIRL: She doesn't even belong here.
GIRL: She looks like a football player.Just look at her.
GIRL: She doesn't even belong here.
GIRL: I think she got dressed in the dark this morning.
GIRL: Her legs are way too big for those shorts.
GIRL: Like, seriously, I've seen pigs that are prettier.
GIRL: Ah.At least we have friends.
GIRL: Oh, yeah.Unlike some people.
GIRL: Did you guys see what Grace was wearing todayat lunch?
GIRL: I can't believe she tried to sit with us.
GIRL: Like, seriously, why would anyone want to sit with her?
GIRL: Watch this.
GIRL: What are you doing?
GIRL: You'll see.
GIRL: Oh, my god.[LAUGHTER]
GIRL: This is going to destroy her--or whatever's left of her.
GIRL: That's so true.I hope she sees that winner.
GIRL [continued]: [Exclusion in the Cafeteria]
GIRL: So who are you going to the dance with?
GIRL: Don't even think about sitting with us.This seat's taken.[CHATTER]
BOY: Grace, you can sit here if you want.
BOY: You really don't need them.
GRACE: Hi.You guys going to the dance?
GRACE: Do you know if all-city is next week?
BOY: Yeah, I think so.[Exclusion in the Cafeteria][Counseling Victim, Bystanders, and Bully][Elementary]
COUNSELOR: Hi, Tavo.
COUNSELOR: I heard there were some problems on the playgroundtoday.Something happened with Brady?Can you tell me a little bit about that?
TAVO: He was picking on me and he was saying bad words to me.
COUNSELOR: OK.He was picking on you and he was saying bad words.Did he touch you at all?Did he push you or shove you or kick or anything like that?
COUNSELOR: OK.So just some bad words.Can you tell me what he said, like use his exact words?
TAVO: Go away, cry baby.
COUNSELOR: Go away, crybaby.what happened after that.What did you do?
TAVO: I went and told a teacher.
COUNSELOR: You went and told a teacher?OK.I think that that was a good thing to do, Tavo.Do you know why he called you a crybaby?Were you guys fighting?Or was there anything going on between the two of you?
TAVO: No.He was bullying to me.
COUNSELOR: He was bullying you?OK.So he was being mean to you.What happened afterwards?You went and told the teacher.And how did you feel?
COUNSELOR: You were sad?What do you think you should do next time if you see Brady outon the playground?
COUNSELOR: Tell somebody if he does it again?
COUNSELOR: What if you're just out there playing,and you just see him on the other side of the playground?What do you think you might do?
TAVO: Don't play with him.
COUNSELOR: Don't play with him?OK.Would you feel OK about not playing with Brady?
COUNSELOR: Does that sound like a good plan?
COUNSELOR: OK.Well, great, Tavo.I'm proud of you for talking to somebody about it,because we don't want you to be bulliedor harassed here at school, OK?
COUNSELOR: All right.
TAVO: OK.[Counseling Victim, Bystanders, and Bully]
COUNSELOR: Hi, guys.Thanks for coming down this afternoon.I wanted to talk about something that happened at school todayout at recess with Tavo.And I heard you two girls played a role in it.Can you tell me a little bit about what happened?
GIRL: Well, there was, like, two girls and one boy bullying him.
COUNSELOR: OK.They were bullying him?
COUNSELOR: What did they do?
GIRL: They called him names.
COUNSELOR: They called him names?And what did you two girls do, because a teacher told methat they overheard something.
GIRL: We said, do you want to be a friend with us,and we played with him.
COUNSELOR: That is very nice.I'm very proud of you girls.You did the right thing.Gus, when Tavo was made fun of and they were calling himnames, how do you think he felt?
COUNSELOR: Probably sad?Yeah.And you were there and you saw it?And what you do, buddy?I just watched it.I knew I couldn't help him because I didn't reallyknow him that much.
COUNSELOR: OK.Well, you knew you couldn't help him because youdidn't know him that much.I understand that.But did you girls know him that much?
COUNSELOR: You girls do kind of know him?
COUNSELOR: Sometimes, I think if you see that stuff going on,that maybe it's our responsibility as a bystanderto do something.So these girls went to Tavo, and they said, hey,you can play with us.Can you think of something you could have done to help out?
COUNSELOR: Or girls can you give him ideasif you can't think of anything.
GIRL: He could have came over and helped us.
COUNSELOR: You could have come over and helped.Can you think of anything else?
GIRL: Um.Maybe he can, like, come and help us play with him.
COUNSELOR: Come play with him?If you thought someone was being mean to Tavo,maybe you could have told a teacher?So I think it's really important girls and Gusto know that when someone is being bullied,we have to do something about it if we see it.OK.[Counseling Victim, Bystanders, and Bully]
COUNSELOR: OK, Brady.I heard that something happened on the playgroundthis afternoon.Could you tell me a little bit about what happened?
BRADY: I called Tavo names.
COUNSELOR: I called Tavo names.OK, what did you say to him?
BRADY: He was a crybaby.
COUNSELOR: A crybaby?Hmm.How do you think that made Tavo feel?
BRADY: A little bad.
COUNSELOR: Probably bad.Yeah.Have you ever been called a crybaby or been called names?
COUNSELOR: How did that make you feel when it happened?
COUNSELOR: Sad?OK.What's the history between you and Tavo?Are you guys normally friends or enemies or strangersto each other?
BRADY: Kind of strangers.
COUNSELOR: OK.So you don't know him very well.Has he ever done anything in the past to you to make you mador to hurt you?
BRADY: No.No really.
COUNSELOR: Not really?OK.Do you have a good reason to be mad at Tavo?
COUNSELOR: Is there any reason why you shouldhave called him a cry baby?
COUNSELOR: And I know you're good kid.I hope you just made a mistake and that youknow what you did was wrong.But I need to call Mom and Dad and let them know, OK?
COUNSELOR: Because I think they just need to be informed, OK.
COUNSELOR: OK.[Counseling Victim, Bystanders, and Bully]
COUNSELOR [continued]: [Counseling Victim and Bully After Staff Report] [Secondary]
STAFF MEMBER: Hey, Brian, are you busy?
COUNSELOR: I got a minute.Come on in.OK, so what happened?
STAFF MEMBER: When I came into the gym earlier today,it seemed like Alex and Payton were giving Van some issues.I didn't quite see all of it.OK, was a physical or verbal?Most of it seemed verbal, but therecould've been a physical component I might have missed.
COUNSELOR: OK, you think I need to check in on Van?
STAFF MEMBER: I think you should.When I asked him about it before,he wasn't very forthright when he was talking to me.
BRIAN: OK.[Counseling Victim and Bully After Staff Report]
COUNSELOR: Hi, Van.Coach Brown came in earlier, and he told mesomething happened before gym classwith you and Alex and Payton today.Can you tell me a little bit about that?
VAN: Well, I was in the hallway.and I was going to go and look into my locker for some pencilsand I notice there was a sign on it.And it-- it was-- it said--
COUNSELOR: Is this hard to talk about?[Counseling Victim and Bully After Staff Report]
COUNSELOR: Have a seat, Alex.Coach Brown just came in and talked to meabout something that happened with you and Vanin the gym today or outside the gym.Can you tell me a little bit about that?
ALEX: Well, we were just having fun in gym like usualand just playing around with Van.He just kept on getting on my nerves, though.So me and my buddy were messing with him.
ALEX: OK.Do you think it was fun for Van?
ALEX: It seemed to me that he was enjoying it-- partially.
COUNSELOR: Partially?What all were you guys saying to him?
ALEX: I was making fun of his size, his chubbiness.
COUNSELOR: OK.That doesn't sound like it would be too fun for Van.What else have you guys done to him?
ALEX: We were kind of messing around with him in the hallway.OK.Can you tell me about his locker,because I also heard something about a locker.
ALEX: His-- his-- locker's the same.
COUNSELOR: It's the same?OK.
School House Bullies
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This tutorial guide provides detailed initial procedures for preparing educational staff to manage and minimize bullying in their schools.
This tutorial guide provides detailed initial procedures for preparing educational staff to manage and minimize bullying in their schools.