Diary of a Delinquent

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    • 00:30


    • 01:01

      BIANCA: Hello!

    • 01:02

      NARRATOR: Hello!

    • 01:04

      BIANCA: Come in.

    • 01:05

      NARRATOR: So this is your new house, then?

    • 01:07

      BIANCA: Yeah, this is my lush home.Come on up.

    • 01:11

      NARRATOR: So, how are you doing?

    • 01:12

      BIANCA: Oh, I'm busy now and really, really happy.I'm so glad I have a house of my own now.Sorting my head out.Um, you know, this is how I want to stay nowfor the rest of my days.Happy.

    • 01:26

      NARRATOR: Bianca is 22, and is settled in Cardiff.But when she was 12 years old things were very different.In 1993, Bianca had been releasedfrom a secure unit for children who are a danger to themselvesand others.

    • 01:46

      NARRATOR [continued]: She'd taken a cocktail of drugs and attacked a man.Iremember what I did. [INAUDIBLE].I didn't know what I was doing.Didn't use [INAUDIBLE] or nothing,didn't even get a doctor to me.

    • 02:02

      INTERVIEWER: What did you exactly do to him?

    • 02:05

      BIANCA: Slit his throat with a broken bottle.

    • 02:10

      INTERVIEWER: I began filming Bianca 10 years ago.And since then, we've become close friends.When we first met, she had just served a three-month sentencefor attacking the man.It hadn't been the first time she'd stabbed somebody.She'd previously attacked another man whowas verbally abusive to her.

    • 02:35

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: Bianca had been placed in the care of social servicesat the age of 11 because her mom, Caroline, couldn't cope.She was constantly running away from her care homeand would often go missing for days.

    • 02:48

      CAROLINE: Well, our main concern for Biancais that she's very much like me when I was her age.At 13, I wanted my independence.And I always seemed to mix with older people, peoplethat were 19 and 20.But the times were so much different then.

    • 03:09

      INTERVIEWER: At the age of 12, Biancawas working as a prostitute in the red light district.Her mom would often have to scan the streets of Cardifflooking for her.

    • 03:19

      CAROLINE: I'm out here looking for my 13-year-old daughter.This is a picture of her.

    • 03:26

      WOMAN: Yeah.I've seen her around here twice.

    • 03:30

      CAROLINE: Does she hang around this area?In

    • 03:33

      WOMAN: I've seen her pass in this area.But she's normally down by the Avana bakeries.

    • 03:39

      CAROLINE: And I can't cope with her anymore.I can't cope with the sleepless nights.I can't cope with the telephone ringing in fearthat something's happened to her, overdoses,phone calls in the middle of the night that they found her,and when I come and bring her from the police station.I just am loose with it now.I can't.

    • 04:00

      CAROLINE [continued]: I can't do any more.I can't.

    • 04:08

      INTERVIEWER: I couldn't believe that Bianca had experiencedso much by the age of 13.

    • 04:13

      BIANCA: I started drinking two years ago.

    • 04:18

      INTERVIEWER: What about drugs?

    • 04:21

      BIANCA: When I'd had a drink, I had the drugs as well.I remember when someone's passing me a spliffand I wouldn't take it from him.And I took it from him.And that was it then.That was at my friend's house.Someone offered me an E. And I took that.And then it just went on and on and on.

    • 04:51

      BIANCA [continued]: It's crazy seeing them kids out there, little 12-year-olds.They play with their friends and probably got a good hometo go to and then to school, not too tired to have a laugh.If you've seen me in the street now,would you ever had thought that there,at age 12 that I've stabbed two people?

    • 05:12

      BIANCA [continued]: They're in school playing.I never went to school.And I never stayed in school and played,what I should've been doing at the age of 12.

    • 05:24

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca was constantly truanting.She spent her days shoplifting.And by the time she was 13, she'dalready been charged with criminal damage and burglary.

    • 05:34

      POLICEMAN: You know you're not aloud.You're aloud in at Queen Street.But you know you're not aloud in any of these stores.

    • 05:38

      BIANCA: I'm aloud in C&M. I'm allowed in BHS.

    • 05:40

      POLICEMAN: No you're not.He just told me you're banned from C&H and BHS.

    • 05:44

      BIANCA: I ain't banned from BHS.I've never been banned from it.

    • 05:47

      POLICEMAN: I'm told you are.I'm not banned from BHS.I am never banned.I've never been banned from there.I've never been shoplifted in there.Well, I have.But I've never been caught in there.

    • 05:58

      INTERVIEWER: Although she was in care,Bianca was allowed to visit her mom.I was interested to find out what kind of childhoodshe'd had.

    • 06:07

      BIANCA: What sort of base is cocaine or heroine?

    • 06:10

      CAROLINE: Bianca, let me tell you something about heroine.All you might as well do, you might as wellgive yourself a sleeping tablet and sleep.Because that's what I did for 13 years.I didn't know why I was doing it until after I came off it.And it was because I couldn't live with my birthmark.My children never ever see me inject or anything.

    • 06:30

      CAROLINE [continued]: I didn't believe in it.And yet I used to see other junkies doing it.And one particular junkie--

    • 06:35

      BIANCA: You used to send me out int he kitchen.

    • 06:37

      CAROLINE: Yeah, of course.And it wasn't the thing for children to see.

    • 06:40

      BIANCA: I used to see the tubes, pen tubes whereyou used to snort.And then you dosed.But I didn't know what it's for.I just thought if there was something wrong,I was supposed to call the doctor or something.I didn't have a childhood because my momwas taking drugs.I was being shipped around everywhere.

    • 07:01

      BIANCA [continued]: I didn't have a childhood.When I was a kid, my father used to come in pissedand smash all my Christmas toys up,done that on New Year's Eve, smashed all my toys up,smashed all my toys up.

    • 07:20

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca had been referredto as a savage teenager in the local papers.But as I got to know her, I beganto think she was just a troubled child who needed help.

    • 07:33

      BIANCA: Taking overdoses three times.And yeah, been off with them.I took one from my mom on holiday.She went on holiday in May.I took one then when she was on holiday.

    • 07:58

      BIANCA [continued]: Tiny.Look, little barber.

    • 08:01

      INTERVIEWER: You were a beautiful little girl,weren't you?

    • 08:04

      BIANCA: Me, when I was a kid.She was a lush.

    • 08:09

      INTERVIEWER: Why is why is that photo torn?

    • 08:13

      BIANCA: Because that's the man who abused me as a kid.And I just don't want him in photos.Bastard.It was hard because I was so young.I was only six.I was only a baby.

    • 08:33

      BIANCA [continued]: It ruined my life, he did, just made my life a living hell.No kid should have fear in him.And I did.Every time I went to the house, I knew what was coming,no matter what.It was soon as everyone had gone to bed.It was happening.There was nothing I could do about it, nothing at all.

    • 08:58

      BIANCA [continued]: I used to cry all the time when I used to get left there.I used to chase my mom's car down the street.If I'd go upstairs, he's come upstairs.And if I slept downstairs, he came down the stairs,no matter where I am in the house.He came to me.I looked so happy in every photo.I wasn't all the time.

    • 09:20

      BIANCA [continued]: So much was going on in my head then.It's always going to be in my head.It will never leave me there.It will never leave me.

    • 09:32

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca couldn't reveal the name of her abuserbecause he's never been charged.Eight years ago, I asked Bianca's momwhat she knew about the abuse.

    • 09:48

      CAROLINE: When she actually revealed the abusein the hospital, she said that I knew about it all the time.But I didn't.I had no explanation from the social workers or from anyone.But then I found out through a friendthat somebody's a victim of abuse they always pick someoneclose to them to try to put the blame on because the guilt

    • 10:11

      CAROLINE [continued]: they're feeling.I have sat and discussed it with Bianca now.And she says, no.I know you didn't know, mom.But I didn't think anybody cared for me or would believe me.

    • 10:28

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca's dad was a heroin addictand had been in trouble with the police.He left the family home when Bianca was eight.And ever since, she's wanted to find him.

    • 10:40

      BIANCA: My dad was living with us for a bit.And he moved on to Gloucestershire.We went to see him every weekend.And then he just went.Don't know where he's gone.He could be in prison.I don't know where he is.

    • 10:52

      INTERVIEWER: Have you tried to find him?

    • 10:53

      BIANCA: I tried.I tried Salvation Army.I've tried The Missing Link Line.I've tried Big Issue.Nothing.I tried the police stations.

    • 11:08

      INTERVIEWER: Do you think if you couldfind your dad that that would help youwith a lot of your problems?

    • 11:16

      BIANCA: I don't know.I don't know unless it happened.I don't know.It might do, should do, if I could find him.It's been 14 years since I last saw my father.I was about seven, eight.We was only kids.It's hard knowing he's out there, one minute having him

    • 11:37

      BIANCA [continued]: there and then the next minute no.Like it woud be all right if he wasn't there full stop,to have him in my life and then for him to go,that hurts not knowing where he is still to this day.I was like a little tom boy I was with him.I had this little song.[SINGING] No one knows where the gobos go.Only me and daddy.

    • 11:58

      BIANCA [continued]: Crazy.I used to get on with my father really well.I always used to do things with him, or help him build things.And it was good, except for when he was past or he was drunk.Part of the way I am, the trouble I got in

    • 12:18

      BIANCA [continued]: was due to I suppose with not having himaround, and wanting him to be around,and not being able to have him around.It messed up my head a bit.Knowing where he is, whether he's dead or alivewould just complete my life, just fill that hole.

    • 12:39

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca wanted to have one last tryat finding her dad.And in August this year she asked me to help her.All we had to go on were the two treasured photos she hadfrom when she was a child.

    • 12:52

      BIANCA: Well, that was '87.So I'll show them both.But if anyone's going to recognize him,it's going to be that one.

    • 13:00

      INTERVIEWER: Are you quite hopeful at the moment?

    • 13:04

      BIANCA: I don't know.That's all I'm feeling right now because I'm getting so nervous.I don't know.

    • 13:22

      INTERVIEWER: Are you sure?Are you sure that you want to do this?

    • 13:26

      BIANCA: Yeah.I do.I haven't seen him for years.I really do want to see him.I'm just what ifs, I suppose.What if he don't want to see me?There's rejection then.What if he rejects me?What will I feel?Or, he might not reject me.

    • 13:46

      BIANCA [continued]: That's if I find him.What if I don't find him?How will that make me feel?But at the moment I'm feeling positive.

    • 14:05

      INTERVIEWER: The last known address for Bianca's dadwas in Birmingham.So that's where we decided to begin our search.Bianca felt that if her dad was still an addict,he might be on the streets.So we headed off to a hostel for the homeless.

    • 14:27

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: Are you nervous?

    • 14:28

      BIANCA: Yeah.I'm really nervous.Oh.Tell me I'm going first.No, go on.I can't do this.Oh, god damn.I can't.

    • 14:50

      BIANCA [continued]: I can't do this.It's your house?Oh, you're killing me.I can't do it.

    • 15:03


    • 15:05

      BIANCA: I can't.Let's go.

    • 15:07

      INTERVIEWER: You're just scared.

    • 15:12

      BIANCA: I can't do it.Open the door.I can't go in.

    • 15:18

      INTERVIEWER: Come then.Let's go back in.

    • 15:20

      BIANCA: I can't do it.I don't even care anymore.I don't even know why I'm doing this.It didn't bother me.So why am I letting it bother me now?

    • 15:37

      INTERVIEWER: The manager of the hosteloffered to show photos of Bianca's dad around.

    • 15:44

      HOSTEL MANAGER: Trying to see if anybodyrecognized the photograph.No?So I'm looking for this gentleman.That's him without a stache.That's him without a mustache.Do you know if the photograph picturerings any bells with you?

    • 15:57

      MAN: This one.

    • 15:59

      MAN: Let me have a look.

    • 16:07

      MAN: I've seen him around.I'm sure I've seen him around.

    • 16:10

      MAN: I've seen him around somewhere.

    • 16:12

      HOSTEL MANAGER: You say you recognize him?

    • 16:13

      MAN: Yeah.I'm going back a few years though.I'm going back to about '91.

    • 16:18

      HOSTEL MANAGER: Somebody thinks they recognize the photographs,but without the mustache.But they're talking about 10 years ago.

    • 16:26

      BIANCA: 14 years ago I seen him.

    • 16:28

      HOSTEL MANAGER: So that talking about a chapwithout the mustache giving them rollupsand being on the street.They can't remember his name.So certainly somebody has seen him.But as I say, it's over 10 years ago.

    • 16:40

      INTERVIEWER: It was our first positive lead.And we hoped her dad would still be in Birmingham.It was good news.And it encouraged Bianca to keep on searching.

    • 16:53

      BIANCA: It's just my name, and my address,and a contact number.

    • 16:57

      MAN: OK.And sorry.Your dad's name is?

    • 16:59

      BIANCA: Brian.

    • 17:05

      MAN: Yeah.I'll certainly look through our records.And if there is anything coming, we'llgive the forwarding address, we'll get such things forwardthese details to me.

    • 17:13

      MAN: Sometimes we can help.Sometimes we can't.How long is it since you saw him?

    • 17:17

      BIANCA: 14 years.

    • 17:18

      MAN: 14 years.It would be great.

    • 17:23

      BIANCA: It's all mad, it is, all mad.Thanks again.Bye.

    • 17:36

      INTERVIEWER: In 1995, age 14, Biancabegan to have counseling to deal with the absence of her dad.

    • 17:43

      BIANCA: I've had so many nightmares about dad,that I seen him on I think it was a beach with pebbles.And I said, oh, Dad, give me a cut.And he said, no.And I said, I'm in care now.He says, oh, why, because of your mom?I said, no, because of you.And I said, Brian, my dad.And he looked up.I said, it's Bianca.And he looked at me.

    • 18:04

      BIANCA [continued]: Don't think he recognized me.I said, it's Bianca, your daughter.He said, hello.I'm like, Dad.I asked him.It was in my message.You've been in care full time?He said, yeah.I've been in care full time, he said to me.And I says, well how come I haven't found you?

    • 18:26

      INTERVIEWER: At 14, Bianca's started a relationshipwith her friend, Roe.Roe, don't worry about it.She seemed to settle down and stayed out of trouble.Three years later at the age of 17,Bianca's relationship with Roe ended.She began drinking heavily and injecting amphetamine.

    • 18:50

      BIANCA: I swear I kept one can for morning.I knew I did.

    • 18:55

      INTERVIEWER: When I went to see her,she had just committed another violent offense,this time against a woman who had taunted herabout the breakup.

    • 19:04

      BIANCA: Do you know when your anger takes over you and youcannot control this?You just go whoosh.You go mad.I thought, when I go up to the door,I'm just going to grip her head and smash it out.Get to the front door, she's been was being polite to me.You know, "How do you do?.I just gripped her and smashed her.I [INAUDIBLE] blows.

    • 19:25

      BIANCA [continued]: Her face is mashed.Then I slashed her with glass to the face, to the arms,to the buttock, and to the legs.

    • 19:35

      INTERVIEWER: In 1999, Bianca was onremand in prison on a charge of actual bodilyharm for the attack.

    • 19:42

      BIANCA: I do things on impulse, I got to, that's all.I think I'm going to get it.I just go on a rampage.I lose my head.I just got to care for nobody.And that's what I did.I was hurting, just come out of a relationship.

    • 20:03

      BIANCA [continued]: I was really hurting.And she just, she knew I was.I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

    • 20:13

      INTERVIEWER: Do you regret that now?

    • 20:15

      BIANCA: Yeah.I regret it.

    • 20:22

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca's 18th birthday was spent behind bars.She served seven months in prison.And by the time she was released,I'd known her six years.Good morning.

    • 20:34

      BIANCA: I'm free.

    • 20:42

      INTERVIEWER: How do you feel, man?

    • 20:44

      BIANCA: Pleasant.Pleasant.I can't believe I'm out.Oh, my god.

    • 20:56

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca had been given early release from prisonbecause the judge felt she needed professional help.She had to spend a year in a drug rehabilitation center.The court would only release her if she was escorted straightthere.And at that time I was the only person willing to take her.

    • 21:14

      BIANCA: I just don't want to do to that.It's going to be mad to be around different people again.

    • 21:19

      INTERVIEWER: Look.This is going to be really good for you.At least they've got like all different kinds of people,people who have been through the exactly same kind of stuffthat you've been through.You'll make new friends.And you won't look back.I'm telling you, B. B.

    • 21:39

      BIANCA: I don't know.I really, really don't.

    • 21:45

      INTERVIEWER: You're going to be fine.Oh, my god.I'm serious now.You're going to be--

    • 21:54

      BIANCA: Don't go.

    • 21:58

      INTERVIEWER: When I dropped Bianca off at the rehab center,I was sad to leave her, but happy that she would finallyget the help that she needed.In August this year, I searched for Bianca's father.Took us past the same center.Why did you end up in a place like this?What was the--

    • 22:17

      BIANCA: All the speed I was taking.I was taking amphetamine all the time.And it was making my head going.It was just covering up my pain, I suppose, just taking drugs.Because I was hurting all the time.It was like my painkiller.[YELLING]

    • 22:35

      MAN: Bianca.How are you doing, you crazy nutter.Be careful.

    • 22:38

      BIANCA: What are you doing?

    • 22:40

      MAN: What do you think I'm doing here again?

    • 22:41

      BIANCA: Well, I know.But why?

    • 22:43

      MAN: Why?Well, when I left-- not me.When you-- did you leave here?

    • 22:48

      BIANCA: I got kicked out didn't I?They found the spliff.

    • 22:51

      MAN: After I left, or before.I can't remember if it was before.

    • 22:55

      BIANCA: I was there five months.I did five months.And I went home after five months.I was home for like what?I was clean for three years.When I went back.And I got a job helping my dad in the bank.After two years now, I lost my dad.And I didn't relapse straight away.It was about 12 months after that when it relapsed.

    • 23:17

      BIANCA [continued]: It's only like 12 months, out so far.I got my ass back here quick.I'm just going to take it day by day, even week by week.It's all you can do, isn't it?Do you know what I mean?[INTERPOSING VOICES]

    • 23:34

      INTERVIEWER: Whilst in rehab, Biancastarted having counseling again.

    • 23:39

      BIANCA: I think it really helped me sort my head.I sorted my head, but they kicked me in the ass to do it.My abuse, I always used to blame myself.I came here.And they say, you can't blame yourself.You were a kid.You don't know between right and wrong.It's not your fault. And I known things like them.I took them on.I took them on board, what he were saying.

    • 24:01

      BIANCA [continued]: And I've accepted it wasn't my fault. I was an innocent kid.And that helps you a lot.to think it's not your fault. Because thatwas a big issue for me.It was my fault. It was my fault. It was my fault.

    • 24:10

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca spent half of 1999 in rehab.She was supposed to stay for a yearbut was thrown out for taking drugs.I felt she'd left in a vulnerable statehaving still not dealt with all her problems.Our search for Bianca's dad continued.

    • 24:31

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: In September this year, one of the hostel workerssuggested we tried looking at the soup run in Birmingham citycenter.The City Mission gives food and clothing to the homeless.And if her dad was on the streets,it was a good chance we'd find him here.

    • 24:57

      BIANCA: These are really old though, see?Really old.Years ago they were.

    • 25:04

      MAN: OK.Well, I work at Birmingham City Mission.So the most information that you can find me then Ican post it on our message boards.We can keep an eye open for him.

    • 25:17

      MAN: I see nothing--

    • 25:20

      BIANCA: He'd be a lot older then now, about 15 years older man.

    • 25:24

      MAN: How old is this?

    • 25:25

      BIANCA: '87.I feel sorry for him, really.I would regret if my old man was on the streets.When I would really regret it.It's just the way it is.

    • 25:49

      INTERVIEWER: I started to search backcopies of local newspapers looking for informationon Bianca's dad.If he'd been involved in any crimesI was hoping it would have been reported.When you asked me to help you, youdid say that I should be really honest with you, shouldn't I,with everything that I find?

    • 26:09

      BIANCA: Yes, you should.

    • 26:10

      INTERVIEWER: And you're sure about that,even if I find out something bad that's not really that nice?Still rather know?

    • 26:18

      BIANCA: Yeah.

    • 26:19

      INTERVIEWER: OK.Well, when I was going through-- I did a news searchon your father.And I came up with these.

    • 26:33

      BIANCA: My god, manslaughter.My father's in prison for manslaughter?

    • 26:41

      INTERVIEWER: Are you shocked?

    • 26:43

      BIANCA: It is a shock.I know I've been in trouble, and that.But...manslaughter?

    • 26:49

      INTERVIEWER: In November, 2000, Bianca's dadhad been given four years for administering poisonto endanger life.In this case, the poison had been heroin.

    • 27:01

      BIANCA: I can't judge him because I don't reallyeven know him.Do I?

    • 27:04

      INTERVIEWER: We discovered he'd been released from prisonon parole in summer, 2002.So once again, we had no idea where he was living.

    • 27:13

      BIANCA: I still don't know now if he's dead or alive,do I really?

    • 27:21

      INTERVIEWER: In 2000, the same yearthat her dad had been prison, Bianca, now aged 18,had been thrown out of rehab.

    • 27:32

      BIANCA: I know.But I'm going to take this to the kitchen.

    • 27:34

      INTERVIEWER: You are in so much trouble.

    • 27:36

      BIANCA: Probably.

    • 27:40

      BIANCA: She was claiming social securityand living at home with her brother, Kyron and her mom.

    • 27:47

      BROTHER: Terrible.Fuck everyone else and just get on with my life, isn't it?

    • 27:51

      CAROLINE: Yeah.It's selfish.

    • 27:53

      BROTHER: Everything has got to be done the way she wants it.And there's no-- how can I put it?There's no either way.It's just that's it.Why not, like?I try to help.But I drink too much to help her.

    • 28:08

      CAROLINE: Sitting here with your arms going like this--and I got to have a drink, I got to have a drink.You can't go without money.

    • 28:18

      BROTHER: Money's gone, haven't you?And you're not working, so why would you expect to go out?

    • 28:23

      CAROLINE: And when you get your dollar,you'll blow it in two days.

    • 28:25

      BIANCA: You are too in my head, mom.I don't need it.

    • 28:28

      CAROLINE: That's the trouble, Bianca.You're not ready to face up to realities.

    • 28:31

      BIANCA: No.I'm just not ready to face up to yoursand Kyron's shit at the moment.

    • 28:35

      CAROLINE: No.You shouldn't be here then, should you?

    • 28:37

      BIANCA: But I got no choice.Chop me out of the house.Do you know what I mean?You got a house only if you chuck me out.

    • 28:46

      INTERVIEWER: Things weren't going well at home for Bianca.I thought she needed some space to think.So I asked her to come and live with me.

    • 28:54

      BIANCA: Yep.No weeds.I think that was my best one, actually.

    • 29:01

      INTERVIEWER: She arrived with a friend.And I was keen to know how she saw her future.

    • 29:06

      BIANCA: Live.Along and prosper.I don't know, just get a nice flat.Get a flat first.Go to college.Do something in college.Get a job.

    • 29:17

      INTERVIEWER: The first three weekswent well until I left Bianca alone one night.Went to bed, got up this morning, went to use my car.And I guess what?It's gone.Bianca has nicked my car.I don't know why.I think she's just lost her head eversince she's come out of rehab.

    • 29:37

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: She's just gone completely off the rails again.As I searched the streets trying to find her,my anger turned to worry.Keep an eye around here for her.Two days later, she was caught and charged.Eventually, Bianca was brought back to my house.

    • 29:57

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: I trusted you 100%.When everybody else was saying, oh, she's a waste of time,let her get to her own device.She's totally off the rails.She's just going to do it again and again.I was like, no.She's really doing well.You have no idea.She's fine with she's away from her mother.She's fine when she's doing this.She's fine when she's doing that, not bloody fine at all.

    • 30:24

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: You knew one iota of trouble and you were going back to prison.

    • 30:29

      BIANCA: I said you might be the only person who trusts mebecause I'm the only person who'scaught me in a stolen car.I'm sorry.I really am.

    • 30:47

      INTERVIEWER: In August, 2000, three monthsafter the theft of my car, Bianca was awaiting trial.She was drinking heavily and no oneseemed to be able to get through to her.

    • 30:59

      CAROLINE: How long is the longest in the last monthif you'd be straight for?

    • 31:04

      BIANCA: Week, two weeks.

    • 31:06

      CAROLINE: In the last month?

    • 31:07

      BIANCA: In the last month, two weeks, yeah.

    • 31:09

      CAROLINE: What?Total abstinence from everything?

    • 31:11

      BIANCA: Bit of ganja.Might have had a can then and again.

    • 31:15

      CAROLINE: That's not from everything now.When can you say you went a full weekand you hadn't taken absolutely anything?

    • 31:20

      BIANCA: 10.3 to 10.I just hadn't got a care in the world at the momentabout-- you know what I mean-- getting a job or whatever.Because what's the point in me getting a job,getting a flat together and all that, and then going to jailand losing it all?So I might as well not have until I come out of jail.

    • 31:36

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca had been found guilty of stealing my carand was awaiting sentencing.She was looking at serving a possible four years in prison.

    • 31:45

      BIANCA: I'm up on sentence, and in Crown Courton the 22nd of September.But you know what they can do in Crown Court on the 22nd?Kiss my fucking ass.That's what they can do.How's that?

    • 31:55

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca was in self-destruct mode.And there seemed nothing anyone could do to help.She ran away to Liverpool and started smoking heroin.A week later Bianca telephoned me.She was distraught and threatening suicide.I drove to Liverpool and brought her back to Cardiff.I'd never seen her so bad.

    • 32:17

      BIANCA: I'm so tired, tired of everything.I'm definitely fed up with being labeled as this and that.And I'm not.I'm not like that.I'm sorry.I'm not at all.

    • 32:37

      BIANCA [continued]: People do change.Oh, Bianca will always be this.And Bianca will always be the stabber.Bianca will always be like this, the kid that was in care.What can I do?Just get away from it all.

    • 32:57

      BIANCA [continued]: That's all I can do.

    • 33:02

      INTERVIEWER: It took nearly two years for Biancato be sentenced for the theft of my car.She was given probation, because in those two yearsshe hadn't been charged with any other offenses.In September this year, as we continued the searchfor Bianca's dad, she found herself back in Liverpool.

    • 33:25

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: I'd contacted a missing persons agencyand had managed to trace another address for him.

    • 33:32

      MAN: The only information I can give you, the last time hewas in here was 1999.And that was the only informationwe've got on the computer about him.

    • 33:40

      INTERVIEWER: It turned out that her dad had stayed herebefore he went to prison for manslaughter.So our search to find him was no further on.But we did discover that Bianca hadbeen in Liverpool at exactly the same time as her dad.

    • 33:55

      BIANCA: We could have seen each other in the streets.He could have been a man begging on the streetthat I'd give 20 P to.It could have been someone I scored off.Do you know what I mean?It's mad.

    • 34:11

      INTERVIEWER: The search continued,but we were running out of options.One final lead took us to a bail hostelwhere Bianca's dad had apparently lived a year ago.He wasn't there.And at this stage, they didn't know where he was.They said we could leave a letter for him

    • 34:32

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: in case he got back in touch with his probation officer.

    • 34:35

      BIANCA: It's always strange, it is,like this is the last place he was.And that's mad, that is because I haven't seen himfor so many years.And to know my dad's worked here last year, it's mad.It's crazy.I missed him so much when he left me.

    • 34:57

      BIANCA [continued]: So many things to ask him if I do find him, why he left.Why doesn't he ever come back?Got on when I was a kid really well.To suddenly to just up and leave, as a man tends to do,Because he left his little girl loose.

    • 35:16

      INTERVIEWER: [SINGING] Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday to you.Happy birthday, Queen B.

    • 35:28

      INTERVIEWER: There were times when I didn't thinkBianca would make it to 22.But shortly after she came back from Liverpool,when she was 19, she met Nikki.It was Nikki who helped Bianca to come off heroin and starta new life.

    • 35:44

      BIANCA: Nikki believed in me when we first met.She's seen past what I was.She didn't judge me for what I was or what I did in the past.She must have seen potential in me.And she helped me.She did really help me all the way.She give me everything that I didn't have, confidenceto get up and go out and do things, and sort my life out,

    • 36:07

      BIANCA [continued]: and lead a normal life, which I've never had no one to helpme in any of that.So it's really touching.

    • 36:16

      NIKKI: Tea-towel.

    • 36:18

      BIANCA: She gives me just security.And I know she's there.And that's all I wanted anyone to say when I was a kid,is I'll be there if you run away.But I didn't get that when I was a kid.And now I got it.[INAUDIBLE]

    • 36:35

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca hasn't touched heroin for two years.But once again, her mom is battlingagainst her own addiction.

    • 36:42

      CAROLINE: Doing it, doing it, [INAUDIBLE].Hello.

    • 36:46

      BIANCA: I haven't seen you for ages.What have you been up to?So you chuffed with B having her own place now?

    • 36:55

      CAROLINE: It's a miracle, isn't it?She finally got what she deserves.She's had a long time since, isn't it?[INAUDIBLE] she like their mannequins.

    • 37:09

      INTERVIEWER: Earlier this year, Bianca's mom, Caroline,was charged with possession of heroin.She is now receiving professional help.

    • 37:19

      BIANCA: It's nice to have her round, because shecan see how well I'm doing.She has problems.Fair play.She do say I'm so proud of you.But It'd be nice for me to say that to her.One day I think I maybe might when she can provethat I can be proud of her.

    • 37:37

      INTERVIEWER: Do you feel like that she will respond?Do you feel like you--

    • 37:40

      BIANCA: I feel like the mom.

    • 37:41

      INTERVIEWER: --have the responsibility of her.

    • 37:42

      BIANCA: Yeah.I feel like the mother sometimes.And I don't want to feel like the motherbecause I'm her daughter.

    • 37:47

      INTERVIEWER: Why do you think you get on so well now?Have you just being through so much together?

    • 37:51

      CAROLINE: Because we're so alike.

    • 37:52

      BIANCA: Yeah.I think it is because we are alike.

    • 37:55

      CAROLINE: Mirror image, [INAUDIBLE].Fortunately, she'd done it all by the time she's 21.And I was just a little bit slow.

    • 38:01

      BIANCA: I'm a little bit stronger than you.Yeah.Flick your ash before it drops on my floor.

    • 38:09

      CAROLINE: Oh.My dear.

    • 38:15

      BIANCA: I just--

    • 38:16

      CAROLINE: Would you like a cup of coffee?

    • 38:18

      BIANCA: Get in the shower.I'll make you a cup.For now, I got to-- oh, my head.All right.You get in the shower.

    • 38:30

      INTERVIEWER: It had been four monthssince we started looking for Bianca's father.And I was beginning to think we'd never find him.Then, just last Thursday out of the blue,I discovered the probation servicehad passed on the letter we'd left with them.And Bianca's dad had replied.I have something really important to tell you.

    • 38:50

      BIANCA: Oh, here we go.Go on.

    • 38:54

      INTERVIEWER: I found out where your father is.

    • 38:56

      BIANCA: Where?

    • 38:56

      INTERVIEWER: Prison.

    • 38:57

      BIANCA: Prison?

    • 39:00

      INTERVIEWER: Bianca's dad had breached his parolefor the manslaughter charge and had been returned to prison.

    • 39:06

      BIANCA: I managed to pass a letter n to him.

    • 39:10

      BIANCA: Yeah.

    • 39:11

      INTERVIEWER: And he's written back.

    • 39:13

      BIANCA: Go on, then.

    • 39:14

      INTERVIEWER: I've just been contacted by the probationofficer in Birmingham telling me that you'vebeen looking for me.It's all been bad all my life.It's Bianca that I've let down more than anyone.You'll never know how that makes me feel.I only had three good things in my life, Kyron, Bianca,

    • 39:36

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: and their mother.And I messed that up, which plays on my mind every day.Funny, really.I get on well with kids.And I go on up and leave mine high and dry.Some old man I was.If you do see Bianca, please give her my love.I miss her.And I hope to hear from you soon, yours sincerely.

    • 39:58

      INTERVIEWER [continued]: Bianca wishes to write, please, will you give her my address?

    • 40:05

      BIANCA: Shocked, I am.I'm trying not to cry.It's too much.

    • 40:18

      INTERVIEWER: Of all the things that hesaid in that letter, what's really touched you?

    • 40:23

      BIANCA: He misses me.[INAUDIBLE]

    • 40:30

      INTERVIEWER: You've missed him all this time.

    • 40:33

      BIANCA: I know.I suppose, yeah.And he wants me to write to him, left his address.My daddy.It's going to be mad seeing how he is again.

    • 40:53

      BIANCA [continued]: Daddy.I don't want to be reminded that I was that person that Iwas at the age of 13 stabbing people and misbehaving.I was a kid.I wasn't even a person.This is the person I am now.And I'd love them all to see them now

    • 41:14

      BIANCA [continued]: because they wouldn't believe it.[MUSIC PLAYING]I bet you can't believe it.I mean, after 10 years-- it's taken me 10 years,but I've done it.

Diary of a Delinquent

View Segments Segment :


A journey through 10 years of the life of Bianca Jones, an abused girl who struggles with addiction and crime. Filmmaker Mags Gavan follows Bianca from her preteen years through adulthood as she tries to bring her life into balance.

Diary of a Delinquent

A journey through 10 years of the life of Bianca Jones, an abused girl who struggles with addiction and crime. Filmmaker Mags Gavan follows Bianca from her preteen years through adulthood as she tries to bring her life into balance.

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