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Victor J. Seidler

In: Men's Friendships

Chapter 2: Rejection, Vulnerability, and Friendship

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Rejection, Vulnerability, and Friendship
Rejection, vulnerability, and friendship
The Need for Friends

Within a liberal moral culture, acknowledging our need for friends can be difficult. As men we grow up learning to be independent and self-sufficient. Friendship grows out of shared interests and otherwise is often marginal to our identity. The meaning of our lives is given by the ends and goals that we have set for ourselves through reason. This means that we learn to do without others. We learn to do without friends. We learn to identify ourselves with the work that we do within the public realm. Much of our sense of ourselves is drawn from our achievements within this public realm of work, and we use this to help us deal with our feelings ...

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