Close Relationships: A Sourcebook

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Edited by: Clyde Hendrick & Susan S. Hendrick

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    This book is dedicated to our grandson.

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    Foreword: Back to the Future and Forward to the Past

    EllenBerscheid

    Once upon a time, a long time ago in a foreign land, a philosopher by the name of Auguste Comte (1798–1857) looked in his crystal ball to determine what he could see of the future of science. What he saw took him many volumes and the remainder of his lifetime to describe, partly because he continually elaborated, revised, and added to his original vision (e.g., Cours de philosophie positive [Comte, 1830–1842/1953]). Comte prophesied that the existing bodies of knowledge of his time would dynamically evolve, expand, and metamorphose according to “a great fundamental law.” The father of “positivism” wrote, “The law is this: that each of our leading conceptions—each branch of our knowledge—passes successively through three different theoretical conditions: the theological, or fictitious; the metaphysical, or abstract; and the scientific, or positive” (quoted in Lenzer, 1975, pp. lii-liv). Today, Comte's positivist philosophy of science, or at least contemporary understandings of it, dominate all the sciences; it is exemplified by “hard” Science with a capital “S”. As a consequence, the tenets of positivism are the standards by which the progress of all the sciences, including relationship science, are judged (Berscheid, 1986).

    Comte identified six major branches of knowledge: mathematics, astronomy, physics, chemistry, physiology, and social physics. The last, social physics, did not exist at the time when Comte was peering into his crystal ball. But because he both foresaw and hoped that such a science would develop, he gave it a name in anticipation of its birth. In fact, he gave it several names over the course of his writings. He later named social physics “sociology” (a word he coined); still later, he called this science “la positive morale”; and by the end of his life, he was calling it “the study of humanity,” according to Pickering (1993, p. 687), his most recent intellectual biographer. Whatever its name, this true final science, Comte said, would address itself to the “positive study of all the fundamental laws pertaining to social phenomena” (p. 615). Like all the abstract sciences, Comte forecast that this final science would progress through the first two stages, ultimately arriving at its zenith of refinement, the third stage. This third, last, and positive stage of science, he said, would be marked by the subordination of imagination and argumentation to the observation of “facts.” Facts, he declared, would become the ultimate scientific criterion of true knowledge.

    Comte initially believed that the six branches of knowledge would form a pyramid. The base of the pyramid would be mathematics, with the other branches of knowledge building on mathematics and then also on each other in an orderly and sequential pattern. Thus, the development of physics would depend on the development of astronomy, chemistry would depend on physics, physiology would depend on chemistry, and sociology would depend on physiology. Sociology (or the science of humanity), which would build on all the other sciences, would become “the queen of the sciences” (Pickering, 1993, p. 708). During the final years of his life, Comte tried to describe this pot of gold that lies at the end of science's rainbow of progression, but he died before completing Le Système de morale positive, or Traite de l'education universelle. Nevertheless, it is clear that the “le systeme de morale positive” Comte partially described bears little resemblance to the science that today bears the name “sociology”: “Comte's sociology was a mixture of history, moral philosophy, political economy, political theory, anthropology, aesthetics, religion, international relations, philosophy of science, biology, and the inorganic sciences” (p. 708).

    Toward the end of his life, Comte awarded sociology even more regency over all the other sciences than he had initially. Although Comte believed that it was necessary for sociologists to first examine the conditions of humanity's existence (society's physical environment, studied by the inorganic sciences), after sociology had been fully established, “The ‘ascending order’ of growing complexity and specialization, which were the criteria he had used to classify the sciences, would switch to a ‘descending order'.… [sociology] would become the first and most general science with control over all the others” (Pickering, 1993, p. 681). Thus, Comte prophesied that, in the end, all the other sciences would become parts of the final unified science of humanity.

    One's mind turns to Comte and his crystal ball on the eve of publication of this newest sourcebook for scholars actively participating in the development of a science of relationships for many reasons. Lesser among them, but perhaps worthy of mention nonetheless, is the fact that poor Comte himself could have used a science of relationships. Virtually all who have examined his personal life have reached much the same conclusion as Butler (1951), who commented, “A case history of this Frenchman would make him anything but an attractive person” (p. 405). Descending from brilliance into madness from time to time, Comte seems to have lurched from one disastrous relationship to the next (see, e.g., Pickering, 1993). His relationships with his family were strained, to say the least; he detested his sister and continually feuded with other members of his family over the numerous slights he believed he suffered at their hands. He contracted a marriage that turned sour almost immediately, perhaps portended by his signing the wedding certificate “Brutus Bonaparte Comte” (Butler, 1951, p. 404). The marriage was marked by violent arguments over money and sex and effectively ended when his wife left him some years later. His vicious attacks on the ideas of his close friend and mentor, Saint-Simon (e.g., “drivel,” Comte proclaimed publicly), finally led to the end of that relationship and to the beginning of an enduring enmity between the two.

    Comte did no better in his professional life. His coworkers at the Ecole Polytechnique, where he tutored in mathematics to earn his living, heartily disliked him. In one of his papers, he deliberately attacked the authorities of the school, the same authorities responsible for renewing his position there each year. Human nature being what it is, when Comte next came up for renewal, they fired him. Impoverished, he appealed to the British philosopher, John Stuart Mill, who had been much impressed by Comte's visions and who was to become one of positivism's most influential advocates. Mill arranged for three of Comte's compatriots to provide him with financial aid, but when they withdrew their support a year later, instead of being grateful for their help over a rough spot, Comte was outraged. During the final years of his life, Comte met a married woman whose husband was serving a life sentence in jail, became extremely fond of her, and suffered what some have described as a “mental aberration” when she died. The aberration appears to be that Comte refused to let death end their relationship; he visited the woman's tomb at least once each week and made it a personal policy to think of her three times each day.

    But one thinks of Comte as one reads this relationship sourcebook for reasons other than what relationship science (not to mention a Dale Carnegie course) could have done for Comte personally. Foremost among these reasons is that relationship science, even in its current nascent state, approaches Comte's vision of the final science of humanity. Others, of course, have made similar claims on behalf of other scientific disciplines. Allport (1954), for example, entered a claim for psychology in the first edition of Handbook of Social Psychology. In his chapter on the history of social psychology, he contended that Comte's true final science “parallels our present conception of modern psychology (especially social psychology)” (p. 7).

    Allport's argument, however, is riddled with weaknesses, and he clearly was aware of at least one of them: If Comte believed that psychology was to be the true final science, then he could have said so, for psychology existed at the time Comte (1830–1842/1953) was writing Cours de philosophie positive. Allport (1954) attempted to explain why Comte failed to anoint psychology as the true final science by speculating that the psychology of Comte's day was “too rationalistic, too introspective, and too ‘metaphysical’ for his taste” (p. 7). Thus, Allport mused that Comte might have feared that if he formally named psychology as the capstone of the abstract sciences, he would retard the development of that glorious final science he hoped would evolve.

    The problem with Allport's reasoning is that far from eschewing psychology as too metaphysical, Comte actively embraced the psychology of his day. He especially embraced psychology as it was reflected in the popular phrenology movement that swept France during the 19th century (where the size of one's head was believed to be an excellent indicant of one's intellectual powers and where specific faculties of the brain could be estimated by examining bumps and valleys on the cranium). Comte particularly admired Gall, who specified that the instincts were located in the back of the brain, the social sentiments in the middle, and the intellectual faculties in the front (e.g., a high forehead housed more intellect than a low forehead). “For Comte, Gall was important for … combating metaphysical theories of human nature and making physiology a positive science” (Pickering, 1993, p. 304).

    Allport's claim that psychology is Comte's final science does not pass muster for another reason. Comte maintained that the science of humanity would have two “modes”: the individual and society, studied by biology and sociology:

    Just as biology was divided into the study of organization (anatomy) and life (physiology), sociology would have two parts: the analysis of the conditions of existence and the study of the laws of continuous movement. It would thus observe every social phenomenon according to its relationships with other, coexisting phenomena and to its connection with the past and future of human development. “Social statics” would be devoted to the first point of view, which was ultimately the study of order, while “social dynamics” would be consecrated to the second, which was essentially the analysis of progress. (Pickering, 1993, p. 617)

    Social statics, Comte wrote, would have three divisions. The first division would be devoted to the study of the individual. Comte assigned this task to biology, and he elaborated that one of the specific tasks of this division was to establish the organic conditions of human “sociability.” Endorsing Gall's views, Comte believed that sociability was an innately given disposition of the human (Pickering, 1993, p. 623). His views on the matter were not dissimilar to those of Baumeister and Leary (1995), and he would have endorsed their postulation of a “fundamental need to belong.” Today, of course, neuroscientists and psychologists are actively establishing the organic conditions of human sociability (for reviews of some of these ongoing efforts, see Reis, Collins, & Berscheid, in press; Rosenzweig, 1996; Siegel, 1999). In other words, contemporary psychology, with its individualistic orientation and biological inclinations, perhaps best satisfies Comte's vision of the first division of social statics.

    The second division of social statics was to be devoted to the study of the family, composed of at least the couple. Comte viewed the family as the primary unit of society. Contemporary sociology's subdiscipline of marriage and the family, combined with the hybrid disciplines of family social science and human development and ecology, would seem to best match Comte's template for this division. Finally, the third division of social statics was to be devoted to the study of society. Other subdomains of sociology (e.g., social networks) and other social and behavioral sciences (e.g., economics, anthropology, political science) together would seem to fit Comte's bill of particulars for this division.

    Because Comte's final science was to build on and to meld all three of these divisions, and because the multidisciplinary science of relationships is indeed building on virtually all of these, a claim that relationship science is the true final science would seem to be far more justified than a claim put forth by any one contemporary science, including psychology. In fact, if Comte were to read the chapters in this sourcebook, then one suspects that he would recognize his “true final science” from the content and sweeping range of the topics addressed as well as from the aims expressed by many of the authors.

    But there is yet another reason why Comte would reject Allport's claim to the crown for psychology. That reason pertains to the methodology of psychology in general and of social psychology in particular. When writing his chapter for Handbook of Social Psychology nearly half a century ago, Allport (1954) undoubtedly was aware that this young field of study was viewed with jaundiced eyes by most psychologists, especially by the experimentalists who ruled psychology at the time and who exemplified positivist zealotry. Allport's aspirations for social psychology, especially for its acceptance as a legitimate subfield of psychology, were at least as passionate as Comte's aspirations for the development of a science of humanity. Thus, Allport no doubt realized that to gain acceptance, it would be necessary for social psychology to hew closely to the positivist line—as indeed it has, in no little part due to Allport's influence. As a consequence, and as detailed by Barone (1999), Allport gave a somewhat bowdlerized rendering of the history and features of social psychology. Depicting social psychology through a positivist lens, Allport highlighted both quantification and the experimental method as characteristic of the field. Barone argued that this is why Allport dubbed Tripplett's experiment on social facilitation as the “first” study in social psychology. (Ironically, Barone contended, a reanalysis of Triplett's data shows no evidence whatsoever of “social facilitation.”) Barone argued persuasively that one effect of Allport's influential rendering was to banish from social psychology the study of dyadic social interaction, the essence of the study of social relationships. Social interaction was banished, Barone contended, because Allport recognized that the study of dyadic interaction was not as amenable to quantification and experimentation as were other social phenomena (e.g., reaction to “social stimuli”).

    Ironically, Allport's characterization of psychological method as experimental and quantitative, although accurate, constitutes another problem for his claim that psychology in general, and social psychology in particular, was what Comte had in mind as the final science. As Pickering (1993) observed, “Comte would not recognize the mutilated version of positivism that exists today” (p. 687). But it is that “mutilated version” of positivism, including the emphasis on quantification and experimentation, that psychology reflects so well, not the positivism that Comte believed would characterize all of the individual sciences in their last stage of refinement and, most especially, would characterize his true final science of humanity.

    Comte's positivism differs from the “mutilated” positivist manifesto that is widely and rigidly endorsed by contemporary science in a number of important respects. First, Comte limited positive knowledge to the discovery of descriptive, not causal, laws: “These laws would express the relationships of succession and resemblance among phenomena. They would explain how, not why, phenomena existed. They also would allow science to perform its main function—that of making predictions about the future” (Pickering, 1993, p. 694). Thus, Comte emphasized actuarial, not causal, prediction.

    Second, whereas positivism sometimes is defined, even in dictionaries, as a philosophical doctrine that decrees that sense perceptions are the only admissible basis of human knowledge and thought, Comte denounced the pursuit of sensory observations as pure empiricism:

    Although observed facts were crucial to the establishment and verification of scientific laws, the accumulation of discrete facts struck him as unsystematic, even anarchical. He believed that empiricists neglected general laws and consequently failed to provide useful or real knowledge.… In opposition to eighteenth-century sensationalism, he was, moreover, convinced that observation itself required more than experiencing sense impressions; facts could not be observed without the guidance of an a priori theory. (Pickering, 1993, pp. 694–695)

    Thus, Comte anticipated the findings of contemporary cognitive psychology. He asserted that facts not only could not be perceived but also could not be retained without the guidance of theory; scientists, he asserted, were not passive mechanical observers. That many facts cannot be observed without the guidance of a theory he believed to be especially true for the study of humanity because its observers would be embedded within society. As a consequence, they would find it difficult to notice the ordinary. “Yet, the familiar social phenomena were the most important of all facts” (Pickering, 1993, p. 695). Only theory, which required imagination, creativity, and subjectivity, could help the observer to stand back from society and facilitate the observation of the facts of social life.

    As the preceding suggests, Comte believed that the final science of humanity would be a deductive, rather than an inductive, science. He maintained that no aspect of social life could be studied in isolation. Thus, Comte took a “systems” view of social phenomena: “No aspect of society could be analyzed apart from the whole; the entire social organism had to be studied first, like a living organism in biology” (Pickering, 1993, p. 617). As an advocate of the systems approach, Comte was strongly opposed to reductionism. Ironically, reductionism is an important component of the distorted positivist manifesto. It also is a feature of contemporary psychology that many believe is hindering psychology's progress. For example, in her keynote address to the American Psychological Society (“Battle Cry,” 1993), Gibson argued, “Something went wrong with this youthful field about halfway into the century”; namely, there was a halt in psychology's advance toward dealing “with the whole creature functioning adaptively in a dynamic exchange with the world of events and places and people” (pp. 12–13). Reductionism, Gibson claimed, is importantly responsible for the failure and should be assigned to the “rubbish heap.”

    Third, as noted previously, positivism is strongly identified with the quantification of phenomena. For example, Lenzer (1975), an influential translator of portions of Comte's writings, states,

    The triumph of the positive spirit consists in the reduction of quality to quantity in all realms of existence—in the realm of society and man as well as in the realm of nature—and the further reduction of quantity of ever larger and more abstract formulations of the relations that obtain between abstract quantities. (p. xxi)

    To the contrary, Pickering (1993) writes, Comte was

    adamantly opposed to … the reduction of questions of quality to those of quantity. He berated those who contended that mathematics offered the only certain knowledge. He warned of the abuse of the calculus of probability—statistics—in physics, chemistry, biology, and sociology. The complexity, diversity, and variability of biological and especially social phenomena precluded their ever being expressed in mathematical equations. (p. 698)

    Part of the confusion no doubt stems from Comte's initial view of mathematics as the foundation for all the sciences and his later views. In his later writings, he railed against the mathematicians and demoted mathematics from its preeminent place as the model of deductive science (replacing it with sociology).

    What difference does all this make? Comte, after all, is just another “dead, white European male.” The difference it makes is that a distorted and perverted version of positivism now reigns in all the sciences, including the social and behavioral sciences from which relationship science has emerged. Thus, relationship science faces the danger that, to gain acceptance as a “legitimate” field of inquiry, it will increasingly adopt the twisted version of positivism that currently pervades science. That danger is increased by the many consequences of the fact that there are, to date, no “Departments of Relationship Science” (Berscheid, 1996). Each relationship scholar has another place of employment, usually in his or her discipline of origin and degree, and that discipline, one can be sure, subscribes to distorted positivist dogma—to a philosophy of science and to methodologies that, ironically, the father of positivism would view as ill suited to the subject matter of relationship science.

    Part I of this sourcebook, “Relationship Methods,” illustrates both the irony and the tension suffered by relationship scholars. The first chapter in this part, by Deborah Kashy and Maurice Levesque, is a crisp, clearly written, and up-to-date treatment of “Quantitative Methods in Close Relationship Research.” One expects to see such a chapter. Comte's views of more than a century ago have been so widely embraced in nearly all branches of knowledge that, at the millennium, quantitative method is believed to be de rigueur for any endeavor that aspires to achieve the status of the other sciences (Berscheid, 1986). In fact, Comte's contention that mathematics is the foundation of all sciences has so thoroughly saturated the pursuit of knowledge that if the phenomena observed cannot be quantified in some way, then the usual conclusion is “Whatever those observations may amount to, it isn't science.” Comte might be pleased to see the progress being made in coping with the special statistical problems presented by dyadic research. Then again, he might not be. At the very least, he would be startled.

    Most people would predict that what would startle Comte would be the next chapter in this part of the sourcebook: “Qualitative Research,” by Katherine Allen and Alexis Walker. Those who have absorbed the distorted positivist manifesto might even predict that Comte would gnash his teeth on learning of the recent reemergence of what might be termed a “metaphysical” approach to relationships. It certainly is true that Comte's first disciples would have been displeased. Comte's initial view that mathematics was the most essential block in the foundation of science was controversial at the time, to say the least, and his disciples were in the minority. Those who embraced his views, including James (who imported the experimental method and the emphasis on quantification to American psychology), often hewed to the Comtian line with the fervor and rigidity that any minority that hopes to influence the majority must (Moscovici, Lage, & Naffrechoux, 1969). Even James, however, could see that his colleagues’ intolerance sometimes was risible, as is illustrated by James's 1876 review of a new monthly French journal, Revue Philosophique de la France et de l'Etranger, edited by Theodule Ribot. After welcoming the new publication, James writes,

    The programme of [Ribot's] review is Catholic enough. Kantians and inheritors of Cousin may contribute to its columns on the same terms as Comtists and experimentalists—individual responsibility namely, and the obligation of saying something novel. Even from metaphysicians, “facts will be required.” This temper compares pleasantly with that of certain persons in England and with us, who are as great friends of evolution and of physiological methods as M. Ribot, but whose own evolution upwards from theological beginnings seems to have stopped short at the stage of inarticulate joy over their emancipation, and for whom every piece of writing is good whose pages are speckled over with words like “body,” “ganglion cell,” “brute ancestor,” [and] “visceral emotion,” whilst the sight of a term like “soul,” “design,” or “free will” in a book affect them with a sort of foaming at the mouth. (cited in Burkhardt & Bowers, 1987, pp. 319–320, emphasis in original)

    It might be noted parenthetically that relationship scientists need only consider the favored status of neuroscience, at least in psychology and among federal funding agencies, and the claims of the psychoevolutionists to feel plus ça change, plus c'est la meme chose.

    Would Comte himself have joined his disciples in “foaming at the mouth” at the inclusion of a chapter on qualitative methods? Would he, as well, view the increasing popularity of qualitative methods and their presentation in this sourcebook as a step backward for relationship science? A good guess is that, unlike his disciples then and now, Comte himself would not have been surprised to see such a chapter in a sourcebook devoted to relationships. It has escaped popular notice that, throughout his writings, Comte warned against the premature application of mathematics in the sciences dealing with more complex phenomena: “The most difficult sciences must remain, for an indefinite time, in that preliminary state that prepares for the others the time when they too may become capable of mathematical treatment” (quoted in Lenzer, 1975, p. li).

    Thus, Comte would have applauded the editors’ decision to include a chapter on qualitative methods. Moreover, he would have been especially pleased with Allen and Walker's treatment of the subject, for they highlight the fact that many qualitative researchers take the position that “research … should incorporate an ameliorative or interventionist effort as part of the production of knowledge” (p. 24). Thus, qualitative researchers often undertake their studies in an effort to change society, not simply to describe society's present condition. As a consequence, qualitative researchers often undertake their research with a strong “point of view” and with a political aim. Another neglected fact in contemporary understandings of positivism is that the most consistent theme throughout Comte's writings was not his insistence on quantification; instead, it was his belief that the aim of the pursuit of knowledge is not knowledge for the sake of knowledge but rather knowledge to improve society and the human condition.

    One cannot leave the chapter on qualitative methods without making one more observation. Allen and Walker surveyed the contents of three relationship journals and found “little use of qualitative methods,” concluding “the positivist perspective continues to be overwhelmingly dominant” (p. 25). Quantification undoubtedly will continue its regency. The problem this presents for relationship scholars is that, as noted previously, they must satisfy their colleagues and employers who revere mutilated positivism (so much so that it has pervaded even the humanities, which threaten to become lesser branches of the social and behavioral sciences; for example, scholars in English literature and history who count, aggregate, and statistically analyze are highly rewarded by their employers (to the detriment and disgust of their more traditional peers).

    Our temptation to highlight both quantification and instrumentation in the study of relationships is heightened not only by our disciplinary colleagues and employers but also by our eagerness to gain public acceptance of relationship science. Quantification, and especially the use of instrumentation, is the public's idea of what “real” science is. An illustrative case in point is a recent Newsweek article titled “The Science of a Good Marriage” (Kantrowitz & Wingert, 1999), which featured the work of Gottman and his colleagues. Gottman, of course, has been in the vanguard of developing and applying quantitative methods to phenomena that not so long ago were believed to be resistant to such treatment, and his successes in quantifying many important relationship behaviors and subjecting them to statistical analysis are widely admired among relationship scholars. The magazine illustrated the article with a photo of a woman and a man seated facing each other, each hooked up to more wires and instruments than would be two astronauts on their way to Mars. Such illustrations no doubt enhance our scientific reputation with the public, even though they are not representative of relationship research methodology—nor are they ever likely to be.

    Part II of the handbook, “Relationship Forms,” begins with a chapter by Robert Milardo and Heather Helms-Erikson on “Network Overlap and Third-Party Influence in Close Relationships.” Here, one can clearly see an instantiation of a problem foreseen by Comte and experienced by many relationship scholars. Whereas relationship science is dependent on the foundation of knowledge provided by the other disciplines with which it interfaces, not only have most of those disciplines not yet reached maturity, but each is severely potholed with investigative domains still in their infancy. When the needed building block is weak, the relationship scholar, before moving ahead to pursue the relationship problem of interest, must turn back to shore up the foundation. That is precisely what Milardo and Helms-Erikson do in this chapter. They attempt to clarify definitional and conceptual confusions that trouble the social network field. In so doing, they reveal to those of us who have been puzzled by the neglect of the social environment by relationship scholars (e.g., Berscheid, 1999; Karney & Bradbury, 1995) that one reason for the neglect might be conceptual ambiguities in the underlying discipline.

    The remaining chapters in Part II represent a potpourri of relationship types, many of which represent typical relationship progressions throughout the life span (although the human's earliest relationships, with caretakers, is represented in Part III, “Relationship Processes,” in a chapter titled “Attachment and Close Relationships” by Judith Feeney, Patricia Noller, and Nigel Roberts). From a chapter on “Children's Friendships,” by Amanda Rose and Steven Asher, Part II proceeds to “Adolescent Relationships: The Art of Fugue” by W. Andrew Collins and Brett Laursen. The latter title is especially descriptive, for Collins and Laursen attempt to trace the appearance, disappearance, and transmogrified reappearance of themes that mark the adolescent's relationship world, a task so difficult that many readers will leave the chapter thankful that researchers other than themselves have undertaken it. Beverley Fehr's chapter on “The Life Cycle of Friendship” and Rosemary Blieszner's discussion of “Close Relationships in Old Age” follow and further underscore, at least for this reader, the importance of social network and other environmental approaches to questions about stability and change in an individual's close relationships. Before reaching old age, however, most people marry and some divorce and marry again. These relationships receive treatment from Janice Steil in a chapter titled “Contemporary Marriage: Still an Unequal Partnership,” from Mark Fine in “Divorce and Single Parenting,” and from Lawrence Ganong and Marilyn Coleman in “Remarried Families.”

    Steil's article particularly arouses thoughts of Comte. Steil empirically documents the unfairness of spousal division of household labor and treats the question of why so many wives appear to be subjectively content with their objectively inequitable circumstances. Why do women not rebel? In the course of attempting to answer this question, Steil takes a rather judgmental (the present situation is wrong and injurious to women) and interventionist (what women can do about it) stance. Comte would have cheered Steil's treatment of this subject, and oddly enough, his followers—Mill and James—would have joined him. In 1869, Mill published a little-known book titled The Subjection of Women (Mill, 1869/1969), which James reviewed for the North American Review along with a book published the same year on the same subject by Bushnell (1869) titled Women's Suffrage: The Reform Against Nature (with the title accurately reflecting Bushnell's position on the subject). James's review left no doubt where his sympathies lay. With satire, ridicule, and sarcasm, James, the Comtist, dismembered Bushnell's argument. For example,

    The portraits he [Bushnell] untiringly draws, of women as they will appear after twenty-five years’ enjoyment of the ballot, are almost too harrowing to quote. Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds, and accordingly, whereas the “thunder” that clothes man's neck (our author never wearies of this “thunder” attribute of masculinity) looks rather well upon him, women's “look will be sharp, the voice will be wiry and shrill, the action will be angular and abrupt, wiliness, self-asserting boldness, eagerness for place and power” will ravage her once fair form. As for her moral state, “a strange facility of debasement and moral abandonment” which characterizes her will make her corruptions much worse than ours. Terrible hints are given of the naughtiness to which women will resort in order to procure votes and the demoralization which will take place in country districts, where the voters, male and female, “will be piled in huge wagons to be carried to the polls and will sometimes, on their return, encounter a storm that drives them into wayside taverns and other like places for the night; where”—but enough; the curious reader may find the rest of the passage on page 149. (cited in Burkhardt & Bowers, 1987, p. 249)

    Mill, James's fellow Comtian, comes off much better, even though James was not entirely convinced of the wisdom of Mill's call for a new type of relationship between husbands and wives, a type of relationship based on “Mr. Mill's fervid passion for absolute equality, ‘justice,’ and personal independence as the summum bonum for everyone” (Burkhardt & Bowers, p. 255).

    James concluded his review with the statement, “There can be little doubt that this small volume [by Mill] will be what the Germans call ‘epoch-making,’ and that it will hereafter be quoted as a landmark signalizing one distinct step in the progress of the total evolution” (cited in Burkhardt & Bowers, 1987, p. 256). James's powers of clairvoyance failed him the day he wrote that passage, for what is remarkable, not to mention disheartening, about Steil's description of women's circumstances within marriage today and Mill's description of women's circumstances within marriage well over a century ago is their similarity. Adding to the eerie resemblance is Steil's treatment of the subject, which is uncannily similar to that of Comte's first and most influential advocates. (It should be noted that a fine chapter by Julia Wood on “Gender and Personal Relationships” in Part III of the sourcebook, “Relationship Processes,” helps flesh out many of the implications that current gender differences have for relationships and, at least indirectly, perhaps helps to explain women's lack of progress in the economic world and within their own households.)

    The “Relationship Forms” section also includes a chapter by Stanley Gaines, Jr., and James Liu on “Multicultural/Multiracial Relationships” and one by Letitia Anne Peplau and Leah Spalding on “The Close Relationships of Lesbians, Gay Men, and Bisexuals.” These are but a few of the forms of relationships that could be included in a relationship encyclopedia when one considers the multiplicity of partner characteristics and settings that could serve to identify a relationship “form.” Whether there will emerge a unified body of relationship knowledge applicable to all relationships remains a central question for relationship science (Berscheid, 1994). These two chapters have in common, however, the fact that the relationship forms they address are of current societal concern and, therefore, are of widespread interest, as are the chapters in the final part of the sourcebook, “Relationship Threats.” Comte foresaw that the concerns of society would stimulate the progress and concerns of his science of humanity, and chapters such as these confirm his prediction.

    Part III of the sourcebook, “Relationship Processes,” includes chapters on many of the processes in which relationship scholars have long been interested—conflict, treated by Daniel Canary and Susan Messman; social support, addressed by Michael Cunningham and Anita Barbee (a tidy and informative chapter on a messy and confusing research area); intimacy, by Karen Prager (who describes her unique approach to this construct, providing a useful and not incompatible addition to Reis and Shaver's [1988] theory of intimacy); relationship maintenance, by Kathryn Dindia; a new view of emotion, by Laura Guerrero and Peter Andersen; communication, by Brant Burleson, Sandra Metts, and Michael Kirch; romantic love, by editors Susan and Clyde Hendrick (who accomplish a thorough and evenhanded review of the love literature in a very small space); and sexuality, by Susan Sprecher and Pamela Regan (the editors obviously determined that the absence of any mention of sexuality in relationships was not going to embarrass this sourcebook).

    These chapters in the “Relationship Processes” section appear to be somewhat divergent in purpose. Some chapter authors, such as Susan and Clyde Hendrick, took as their aim a survey of an area to which they have contributed, soft-pedaling their own contributions so as to represent other viewpoints. Other chapter authors took the tack of primarily expressing their own works and views. Both aims are reasonable, but scanning the tremendous diversity of the topical areas covered in this sourcebook (and these are by no means exhaustive, as the Hendricks would be the first to say), one sees a need for an “annual review of relationships” similar to the Annual Review of Psychology. Such a review would have the purpose of detailing developments in a particular relationship topical area during the past several years. Original contributions, both theoretical and empirical, could continue to be disseminated by “advances” volumes and by the empirical journals.

    As noted previously, Part IV of the sourcebook is devoted to “Relationship Threats.” Since Rook's (1984) seminal article on the dark side of close relationships, attention to the threats that relationships sometimes present to individuals’ well-being has grown dramatically (see, e.g., Spitzberg & Cupach, 1998). This, then, is a timely section. It includes chapters on “Extradyadic Relationships and Jealousy,” by Bram Buunk and Pieternel Dijkstra; “Physical and Sexual Aggression in Relationships,” by F. Scott Christopher and Sally Lloyd (a topic of growing public interest and concern); and “Depression in Close Relationships,” by Steven Beach and Heather O'Mahen. Part IV concludes with a chapter on “Loss and Bereavement in Close Romantic Relationships,” by John Harvey and Andrea Hansen. Perhaps it is this final chapter that Comte, in the torture of his bereavement, would have turned to first. He firmly expected that the knowledge provided by his final science of humanity would be practical and useful to the individual as well as to society. What is perhaps remarkable about relationship science, at least as it has progressed so far, is the extent to which relationship scholars have been attentive and responsive to societal concerns while attempting, at the same time, to develop a unified and cohesive science in which an understanding of process is awarded as much importance as are structure and outcomes.

    In sum, one suspects that after reading this sourcebook, Comte would smile and kiss his crystal ball. That reaction, however, is more likely from those viewing relationship science from afar than from those of us in the trenches attempting to chisel Comte's scientific capstone out of the hardest rock of natural phenomena that scientists have yet dared to approach. Our problems are legion, and many of them stem from our dependence on the other sciences that comprise our foundation, as Comte forecast and as Kelley (1983) discussed more recently. In addition to the problems that arise from the fact that none of these sciences has yet fully matured and the needed information is not yet available, there is the even more nettlesome problem that to build relationship science on the foundation these sciences provide, relationship scholars must familiarize themselves with vast warehouses of scientific knowledge. Obtaining and assimilating such a wide array of knowledge is a daunting task, one that is not facilitated by our specialized training and one that requires an extraordinary amount of effortful, time-consuming, and continuing self-education.

    Simply tracking developments in one's own discipline and divining their implications for relationship science is no easy task. To take just two examples from psychology, recent developments in neuroscience have potent implications for relationship science (e.g., the influence of early relationships on infant brain development [Siegel, 1999]), and the impending transition of cognitive psychology from associationist models of cognition to the connectionist perspective (e.g., as reflected in parallel distributed processing models [Smith, 1996]) represents an important opportunity for relationship scholars. In the study of the human mind, this transition appears to be akin to physics shifting from Newtonian mechanics to Einstein's special theory. Like Newtonian mechanics, associationist models, on which virtually all of our current understanding of cognitive structure (e.g., relationship schemas) and process (e.g., automatic processing vs. controlled processing) is based, will continue to “work” for the range of phenomena with which they have been so successful. But to advance, cognitive science, as well as relationship science (for which the puzzles of relationship cognition are central [Berscheid, 1994; Reis & Downey, 1999]), will need to build on these new models that appear to better account for critical data and to provide a more powerful searchlight with which to plumb the mysteries of the human mind than do associationist models. To take advantage of this development, however, relationship scholars need to keep abreast of developments in cognitive science—no quickly accomplished task.

    Thus, each relationship scholar must cope with the explosion of knowledge in his or her own discipline, even if the scholar despairs of following developments in all of the other disciplines essential to the advancement of relationship science. Sometimes, in the depths of despond, one cannot help but wonder whether perhaps the task is impossible, whether this final super-science can be constructed only by those possessing super-brains able to absorb, synthesize, and then intelligently transfer an extraordinary range and volume of knowledge. Some do conclude that, indeed, it is hopeless; they give up trying to keep so many incoming developments in so many disciplines on their radar screens and retreat into their own necks of the woods and specialized interests. Others scurry back to the mainstream of their disciplines of origin, where the problems are defined; the methodological paradigms are established; the way is clear (if crowded); and the living, if not easy, is at least less demanding. Most of us try to maintain our good intentions and high aspirations; we order more filing cabinets to house even more quickly scanned and unread papers, and we install more bookcases to house all those “must read” books we will get around to during the next academic break, or surely next summer, or at least in our next reincarnations.

    In any rapidly developing science, especially one that covers as much territory as does relationship science, the sheer volume of knowledge that must be absorbed is a formidable deterrent to the field's advancement (not to mention each relationship scholar's peace of mind). For relationship science to develop quickly and soundly, it is vital that some persons abandon their own scholarly pursuits from time to time and volunteer for sentry duty on the borders of relationship science. There, they not only must survey changes in the relationship domain itself but also must monitor developments in our supporting disciplines with the purpose of educating the rest of us about these developments, usually by enlisting the tutorial services of those who possess the necessary expertise. Editors of sourcebooks such as this one serve as the field's sentries. In an inchoate new science, their role is crucial. They decide what the rest of us need to know and who is best qualified to teach us. The responsibilities assumed by the contributors they select also are heavier than usual because many in their audiences are innocents, unable to separate one of Comte's facts from metaphysical fiction. One has only to glance at the topical range of the chapters in the present sourcebook to be reminded that each of us is uncomfortably dependent on these authors, that our usual powers of critical reading, so essential and readily available in our own areas of expertise, often are suspended for many topics encompassed by that ever-expanding territory known as relationship science.

    Thus, we owe a great deal to the present editors of this sourcebook, Clyde and Susan Hendrick, just as we have owed previous editors of sourcebooks and handbooks (e.g., Duck, 1988) our gratitude and respect for assuming this responsibility for advancing the field. Without their considerable but sometimes unappreciated efforts, as well as the efforts of their contributors, most of us would deserve even more than we do the “learned ignoramus” appellation to which all scientists in this age of specialization are subject, a label that is especially deadly for relationship scholars and for the progress of relationship science.

    References
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    Preface

    Close personal relationships are the very essence of human existence. Nearly as fundamental to survival as air and water are the links between persons—parent with child, lover with lover, friend with friend. More and more scholars are conducting research on this essential topic, and it is out of a collective sense of the fundamental importance of relationships and relationships research that this volume emerged. The authors whose work is included are excellent scholars who represent the variety of disciplines and topics within this relatively new area of close personal relationships.

    Close relationships come in various shapes, sizes, and forms. Relationships experience a variety of interpersonal processes, undergo a number of crises and threats, and can be examined in several different ways. In recognition of this complexity in the relationships domain, we have organized the 26 chapters in this Sourcebook into four major thematic areas—Relationship Methods, Relationship Forms, Relationship Processes, and Relationship Threats—along with a Foreword.

    These chapters provide a panoramic view of close relationships research as it enters a new century, and they offer highlights from current literature, original research, practical applications of existing knowledge, and projections of what avenues of research might be most productive during the years ahead. In Part I, quantitative and qualitative methods provide important lenses through which scholars can examine relationships, and both topics are presented in an interesting and accessible fashion by Kashy and Levesque (quantitative research) and Allen and Walker (qualitative research).

    Part II on relationship forms includes many of the stages, types, and roles that characterize intimate relationships. In a developmental fashion, chapters address social networks (Milardo and Helms-Erikson), children's friendships (Rose and Asher), adolescent relationships (Collins and Laursen), adult friendships (Fehr), and friendships in later life (Blieszner). Chapters on multicultural and multiracial relationships (Gaines and Liu) and on gay, lesbian, and bisexual relationships (Peplau and Spalding) introduce relationship forms that are not new but are newly considered, discussed, and accepted. Finally, the alignments and realignments of traditional family structure are considered in terms of contemporary marriage (Steil), divorce and single parenting (Fine), and remarried families (Ganong and Coleman).

    Many processes occur within the crucible of close relationships. Part III, on relationship processes, considers several such processes. A discussion of emotion (Guerrero and Andersen) opens this part and is followed by attachment (Feeney, Noller, and Roberts), romantic love (S. Hendrick and C. Hendrick), and sexuality (Sprecher and Regan). Intimacy is strongly linked to communication, so a chapter on intimacy (Prager) serves as a bridge to a chapter on communication (Burleson, Metts, and Kirch), followed by conflict (Canary and Messman), social support (Cunningham and Barbee), and relational maintenance (Dindia). The important topic of gender (Wood) concludes Part III.

    Although close relationship researchers have done much to depathologize relationships even as they explicate relationships, the shadow side of human nature exists and is explored in Part IV, on relationship threats. Here we find chapters on infidelity and jealousy (Buunk and Dijkstra), physical and sexual aggression (Christopher and Lloyd), depression (Beach and O'Mahen-Gray), and loss and bereavement (Harvey and Hansen).

    Taken together, these chapters provide a wonderful commentary on the state of close relationships research, and we thank all the authors involved for giving their time, patience, and best scholarship. We also thank all the scholars whose pioneering work resulted in the interdisciplinary field of close relationships and those scholars whose work is referenced in this volume. We especially thank Ellen Berscheid for gracing this volume with the Foreword.

    Thanks also go to Terry Hendrix, the friend and former Sage Publications editor without whose persistence this book would not have developed, and Jim Brace-Thompson, the Sage editor who helped bring the book into its final form. The whole staff at Sage, a publisher with whom we have worked fruitfully for many years, also deserves our deep appreciation.

    Finally, we thank each other. The labors of this book would have been much more onerous without our shared editorial efforts. To the extent that these efforts have been successful, it has been the result of the editors’ ongoing close personal relationship.

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